Author Unknown quotes, page 7
Beau McCloud: How much did they get?
Jim Hardie: About five thousand dollars as close as I can figure. Frank never kept many books; liked to keep everything in his head. Said that it was much harder to fire him and straighten out the mess rather than just go along with him. He was right - never had a complaint in twenty years except just recently.
Ford: Cam, Cam, Cammy, Cammy! You've got every right to be breathin' fire here, no-one says you don't, but, uh, the spray on that bird gun is pretty wide, honey.
Cammy: Your point being?
Ford: Well, my point being we've got a better chance of gettin' out of here alive if you use what's between your legs instead of that thunderstick in your hands.
Marty DePolo: Let me do some research here.
[he walks down to where Edie and her friend are at their lockers. He snaps his fingers and Edie's friend goes over to her]
Edie's Friend: Edie, would you ever go out with a guy who couldn't sing?
Marty DePolo: I was afraid of that. Hey, I could find out a lot of things.
[snaps his fingers again, and Edie's friend walks back over to her]
Edie's Friend: Edie, what did you think of Marty DePolo when he was alive?
Marty DePolo: I'm not licked yet!
[snaps his fingers again]
Edie's Friend: Edie, what would you think of Marty DePolo if he were alive and he could sing?
Marty DePolo: [goes to snap his fingers again but thinks better of it] I give up.
Striker: He gave it back? Fifty thousand dollars?
Matt Blackner: It was only forty-eight thousand. I had no more use for it.
Striker: I had a use for it, you back-stabbin' old goat! I coulda bought me a town, do you hear? A whole town just for me!
Matt Blackner: That town will remember my name; light candles for me once a year!
Hotshot Charlie: How you doin'? Get the short fixed?
Terry Lee: Yeah. How's the radio?
Hotshot Charlie: Good old Hotshot, boy genius, has done it again.
Terry Lee: Let's get goin'. Drag up the ladder.
Hotshot Charlie: Aye-aye... yi-yi-yiyiyiyi.
[a beautiful blonde climbs aboard Terry's airplane]
Georgia: Well, I declare you boys aren't Chinese a'tall. Hope y'all don't mind me bargin' in like this.
Terry Lee: Mind?
Hotshot Charlie: Well, fan my brow and hand me a mint julep.
Margaret Richardson: [after rising out of her own grave] Where am I?
Logan Andrews: Where are you? Harry pronounced you dead! We had a funeral.
Margaret Richardson: Dead?
Logan Andrews: Yeah.
Margaret Richardson: A funeral?
[looking at hand]
Margaret Richardson: Oh damn, I broke a nail.
Logan Andrews: Forget your nails! You're alive!
Pam: Oh, honey. Let me give you some advice about dating. Whatever you do, don't listen to me.
Steve Beauchamp: Thanks, Pam. I'll do that.
Pam: No, don't do that. That's the point.
Jim Hardie: Say, by golly, you're in luck. That other passenger on the coach was a doctor.
Deputy Sheriff Sam Leary: No? Doggone!
Jim Hardie: Dr. Alice MacCauley.
Deputy Sheriff Sam Leary: Alice! A lady doctor?
Jim Hardie: You bet! Patched my shoulder up just like patchin' a quilt.
Deputy Sheriff Sam Leary: A lady doctor... Next thing you know, they'll be havin' female Wells Fargo agents.
Jim Hardie: By golly, I hope you're right! Anyhow, I want to do the hirin' and firin' if they do.
Don Karnage: What kind of ee-di-ot is flying this plane?
Louise L'amour: [Enchanted] Say that again?
Don Karnage: I said, what kind of ee-di-ot is flying this plane?
Louise L'amour: Shiver my timbers honey, I just adore men with accents!
Bill Longley: Well, look, I got a wanderlust. I have to see what's on the other side of the hill... and you're not going to change my plans!
Iris Crawford: I got some plans, too, and they sorta include you.
Marty DePolo: Mr Lincoln, Steve here needs a killer paper on the civil war by tomorrow morning. We thought you could help.
Abraham Lincoln: You want me to do his homework? That doesn't seem right.
Marty DePolo: I knew I should have brought back Nixon.
Steve Beauchamp: Nixon's in Heaven?
Marty DePolo: He snuck in through the back door.
Steve Beauchamp: [to Abe] Listen, I'm sorry we bothered you Mr Lincoln.
Steve Beauchamp: I don't think anybody can help me now.
Abraham Lincoln: My boy, my advice to you is never give up. I lost almost every election I was in, but I didn't give up. I saw the United States fall nearly under, but I didn't give up. Then I was shot in the head... it's pretty difficult not to give up at that point.
Steve Beauchamp: Yeah! You're right! I'm not licked yet.
Marty DePolo: Hey, your speech really inspired him.
Abraham Lincoln: Hey, I am Lincoln.
[he sits down at Steve's desk]
Abraham Lincoln: Let's get cracking.
[He pulls a feather pen out of his jacket and dips it in the glass on Steve's desk]
Steve Beauchamp: Uh, Mr Lincoln, that's diet coke.
Abraham Lincoln: Uh huh.
[He starts writing]
Jim Hardie: [narrating] I did some checking up on Belle Starr and the one thing everybody mentioned was her love for horses. She liked 'em fast - the faster the better. The price of a good horse never bothered her. Whe she found one she liked, she stole it.
Goliath: What am I? A dog? You're sending out a boy to face me?
David: You have defied the army of the Lord God. I have come to fight you in his name!
Goliath: You have come to feed the vultures!
[Terry and Hotshot have just averted the theft of desperately needed typhus serum]
Terry Lee: Can you beat anyone trying to hijack stuff like this?
Hotshot Charlie: Even Chops wouldn't go for a deal like that... I think.
Starfire: I cannot awaken Beast Boy. I have tried the tickling, all matter of bodily noises, and the word "underpants". I fear this time Beast Boy's brain is truly gone.
Raven: Beast Boy had a brain?
[Beast Boy wakes, cracking up]
Beast Boy: Ha. Ha. Ha. Good one... hey! That's not funny. I *totally* have a brain... I just don't use it very much.
Elaine Nardo: Jim; what are you doing here? Where did this model castle come from?
[Tarley and Nairn have just beaten up Castle and Arleen to find out where the jewellery is, but they have left empty-handed]
Steven Castle: Where's the jewellery?
[Arleen lifts her skirt to reveal a package tucked into her stocking-top]
Steven Castle: [ironically] Well they seem safe enough.
[pointing to his sergeant's stripes]
Sergeant Gaine: Beggin' the Colonel's pardon, sir, but do you know what I paid for these cartwheels? Pieces of me - that's what they cost. Chunks of bone and skin from San Jacinto to Manassas, three toes somewhere along the Cree... for the cavalry, Colonel, that's how I bought them stripes. No runny-nose office corporal is goin' to take them off! Nobody - just me.
Officer Vince Romano: [Hooker walks towards the car with a cup of coffee] You know what that poison is doing to your system? It's gonna kill you.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Romano, Grandpa Hooker downed a gallon of coffee a day and made it to 94.
Officer Vince Romano: [Pouring a concoction into a cup] Try this. All I'm asking is try it. It's delicious! Just a little raw eggs, Romanian yogurt, crushed papaya, lecithin, mango juice. Secret of my success... and my virility.
[wiggles eyebrows rakishly]
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Romano, when Grandpa did go, at 94, twelve women wept at his grave, not including Grandma.
[looking out the cockpit window]
Hotshot Charlie: Desolation at five o'clock, Terry. That must be Wangchu.
Button Smith: What's this writin' on the barrel?
Jim Hardie: Read it.
Button Smith: "Be not afraid of any man who walks beneath the skies, though you be weak and he be strong - I will equalize."
Corporal Simon: You never turned you back on your men, Sarge. You've got to help us.
Sergeant Gaine: Orders is orders - you stand and you die. Them's my orders now, Simon - be a soldier and stand and die.
[Carter reads a greeting in Turkish to welcome Captain Shebbeq. Shebbeq tells him what it means]
Capt. Shebbeq: "Happy birthday. May the horse-dung you are about to eat on this trip taste sweet."
Det. Sgt. George Carter: Is that an old Turkish greeting?
Capt. Shebbeq: Did you obtain it from the Cultural Officer of the Turkish Embassy?
Det. Sgt. George Carter: No, a Greek caff down the road.
[Carter earlier tried to chat up the Commander's secretary. Now he is looking very lustfully at a woman in a cafe]
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: If this keeps up, we'll have to take you down to the vet's.
Himself - Host: You've been fasting?
Bono: Yeah. Well, I'm not fasting from food, it's more... alcohol. So what I'm thinking about is when we finish up. That's what I'm thinking about.
Himself - Host: You're going to go to The Latch?
[they shake on it. Audience applauds]
Himself - Host: See, the whole thing about Lent is that it's not over yet.
Bono: The whole thing about Lent...
[audience laughs. Bono wags his finger at Chris]
The Edge: That's a great joke! There is that one, Bono, there! He's right! Technically.
Bono: As any Irishman will tell you: Lent stops on St. Patrick's Day.
Sergeant Gaine: You asked for me, Simon. No what do you want?
Corporal Simon: We been together for a long time, Sarge. Are you going to let that Colonel stand us up against a wall?
Sergeant Gaine: You afraid to die? Since when?
Corporal Simon: Not like this, Sarge. Not with bulleyes on our bellies.
Nightwing: I heard you're looking for help.
Starfire: There is nothing you can do. There is nothing *anyone* can do. The past cannot be repaired. The future cannot be altered. No matter how wrong it seems.
Nightwing: So - it's impossible? Good!
[walks to a station]
Nightwing: If memory serves, we've done the impossible before. I held onto this just in case.
[presses a button and reveals a Titan's Communicator]
Host: Did you enjoy it more tonight than last night?
Bono: Edge played a stonker last night. Adam was great tonight.
Host: How do you know? How do you make the differentiation? How do you know that he had a blinder and he had a stonker? Poor Larry, you're not going to mention him by the way?
Larry Mullen Jr.: No. Story of my life.
Bono: Larry was consistent...
[Regan sees Herbie Mew's brand new transistor radio just after Vincent Vaughan has fired his gun at it as a threat]
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: [sarcastically] It's not working Herbie. Have these bullet holes got anything to do with it?
Ella Congreve: To remember me by?
[Ella gives Jim a soft kiss]
Jim Hardie: I wouldn't remember that once you were out of town.
[Jim grabs Ella and they kiss passionately]
Ella Congreve: Jim, there's something you don't know about me. I'm famous for coming back for encores.
Jim Hardie: As a prima donna or as a woman?
Ella Congreve: Both.
Wells Fargo Manager Jefferson: Jim, I think Wells Fargo should make something out of this. A little advertising that'll show our company can deliver the goods. We ought to give this guard a medal at the very least.
Jim Hardie: He might appreciate a bonus a little more.
Wells Fargo Manager Jefferson: Yes. Wells Fargo may be a business firm, but we're doing more than our share to bring law and order to the West. It's men who have courage and loyalty, like this guard, Button Smith, who are the backbone of Wells Fargo.
Host: The last song of your last concert ever. What would your last song be?
Bono: Amazing Grace.
Bono: It's a sound. Grace, how sweet the *sound*? I've never figured that out. Think about it.
Det. Sgt. George Carter: Well I'd better get after Tommy Llewellyn, then.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Watch him. He's a weirdo - and he's hard enough to roller-skate on.
Det. Sgt. George Carter: I'd better get my skates on, then.
E.L. 'Tenspeed' Turner: Oh, yeah, by the way, I marked the tire so we could spot it at the hotel.
Lionel Whitney: That's good, E.L., that's really good. We're thinking along the same lines, because I pulled a button off the seat cover.
E.L. 'Tenspeed' Turner: Oh, boy, we really defaced that car, didn't we? We showed them not to mess with the Whitney Agency.
Lionel Whitney: Darn tootin', that's right.
Jim Hardie: You dont' drink whiskey and you don't kiss girls. I've always been a little suspicious of a man who never had any minor vices.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: [Looking at the police sketch] Yep, no question, that's the man I chased.
Police Detective: And lost.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Excuse me. I was off duty at the time. Couldn't find a telephone booth to change in.
[Regan arrives at work looking very rough]
Det. Sgt. George Carter: [sarcastically] It's nice to see you so fresh and awake, Guvnor.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Someone put something in my drink last night.
Det. Sgt. George Carter: What?
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Alcohol!
Elastigirl: We're all very proud of you, Garfield.
[hugs Beast Boy]
Elastigirl: Take care.
[The Doom Patrol flies off]
Cyborg: [sarcastically] Garfield?
[Beast Boy chuckles]
Raven: Oh, I'm gonna get a *lot* of mileage out of this one.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: What's music to your ears?
Officer Vince Romano: How about Pat Benatar? We could agree there.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Who's he?
Officer Vince Romano: He is a she. A singer.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Of your kind of music.
Officer Vince Romano: But cute!
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Cute?
Officer Vince Romano: Yeah. We could agree on cute girls, couldn't we?
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Women. For example, Peggy Lee.
Officer Vince Romano: Peggy who?
Finch: I can't handle a man like Reynes. You can do whatever you like. My job is behind a desk.
Titus Oates: It's strange, isn't it? So often creatures without backbones have the hardest shells.
Simon Congreve: Haven't much time left, have I, Ira?
Dr. Ira P. Strickland: Does Ella know, Simon?
Simon Congreve: No. No, I've gone to great lengths to keep her it from her.
Dr. Ira P. Strickland: Why in the name of heaven, man? Doesn't she have the right, the right of a daughter to give comfort?
Simon Congreve: Why should I make an exception at this late date? I've cheated her out of every other right, including the right to choose her own happiness.
Lionel Whitney: Maybe we could solve this case.
E.L. 'Tenspeed' Turner: Yeah.
Lionel Whitney: Maybe we could, as the saying goes, "catching the bad guys."
E.L. 'Tenspeed' Turner: Maybe we could, as the saying goes, "catching a permanent case of rigor mortis."
Madame Rouge: Perhaps my mind is too hard to read.
Mento: No. It's just too twisted.
Gurney Cassell: You're a thinking man, Yates. Just stay by side - I wouldn't want to play against you. And now, let's break into that safe.
Martin Yates: What do you mean break in? We have a key!
William Smith: Although I cannot but hold these cruel and vicious extortioners in the harshest contempt, I am unable not to admire their businesslike approach to the whole matter. Yes, their decision to execute the priest, no ifs, no buts, no maybes; the public announcement of this, the statement as to exactly when this terrible crime will be perpetrated, well, now some think this a rash and stupid thing to do, but to my mind it's an act of pure genius! It will serve to demonstrate - as perhaps no other single act could - that no one, no living person, no matter what his position, can stand against the extortioners and continue to live.
[Kemble tries to flee from the scene of the robbery by car. Suddenly Regan appears and points his gun at Kemble's head]
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: [menacingly] Switch off! Or they'll collect your head in a pillow-case.
Poderio: There are questions in your eyes, Senor Hardie.
Jim Hardie: Just one. I was wondering why a man as successful as you and has so much to lose would gamble everything just to find this girl.
Poderio: Success? What is success? It is the size of the hole it takes to bury a man... but self-respect - that is something worth fighting for.
Lionel Whitney: Stop it! I don't want to hear another word!
E.L. 'Tenspeed' Turner: All I was trying to do was save your business.
Lionel Whitney: Save it? With deceptions and con games and lies?
E.L. 'Tenspeed' Turner: No, with money.
Raven: [after the sky ride crashes.] Is everyone okay?
[Teeth vomits. Raven groans]
Timmy Tantrum, Melvin: [excitedly] Do it again! Do it again!
Raven: No, again!
[Poderio and Miguel are locked up in jail]
Jim Hardie: He's probably got other men wandering around somewhere... that's why he's not worried. You keep your eyes open.
Deputy Tom: I'll keep one eye on him, one eye on that still flank man of his and one eye on the door. That ought to do it.
Jim Hardie: Well, I hope you can deputy a little better than you can count.
Tracy Hill: Y'know, I never did ask you why you wanted to be a cop.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: It's just something I do. I don't try and analyze it.
Tracy Hill: Maybe you should.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Hey, lady, I'm a garbage collector. I collect it and I dump it. I file my report and I never look back.
[Carter is eating a pot of yoghurt. Regan looks on in disgust]
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: D'you eat much of that?
Det. Sgt. George Carter: About three a day.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Yuk.
Det. Sgt. George Carter: [conspiratorially] Listen, this old Bubble told me it was an aphrodisiac. My wife won't buy it. So I get it delivered secretly - in handy thirty-gallon drums!
Mike 'Scoop' McGill: What is he, stupid?
E.L. 'Tenspeed' Turner: No, I used to think that, too, but the man has a thing called principles.
Mike 'Scoop' McGill: He's stupid.
E.L. 'Tenspeed' Turner: No, no. It's very, very close to being stupid, but it's not the same thing.
William Bonney: What are you going to do when you find her?
Cyrus Canfield: I'm going to teach her a lesson she'll always remember. She's a godless girl, even though she is my own. She belongs in a nunnery, and that's where I'm going to put her, once I lay my hands on her again.
Officer Vince Romano: [after Minetti is released] I don't understand. Something's wrong, Hooker. I did my job. He killed a man! I brought him to trial. He's guilty. And he's strutting out of here like a peacock, putting dirt on everything that's good and decent. Where's the incentive to do it right the next time if this lousy system doesn't work?
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: The incentive is in knowing how much worse it would be if we didn't do it right. You don't like what happened in there, I don't like it, the people don't like it. It's up to the people to change it.
Raven: I need back up.
[pulls out her communicator]
Raven: Raven to anyone!
Beast Boy: Raven.
Raven: Anyone *other* than Beast Boy!
Adam Clayton: [discussing false names they use at hotels] I am Mr. C.
Host: All right. And Larry?
Bono: You were a posh Irish supermodel for a while. I remember that.
Larry Mullen Jr.: Oh yeah...
Bono: Michelle Rocker.
The Edge: What? *You* were Michelle Rocker!
Bono: I was not! I was Alison Doody!
The Edge: I was Alison Doody!
Adam Clayton: I was Alison Doody!
Bono: Everyone wants to be Alison Doody *now*!
Bernard Driscoll: Gentlemen, occasionally I do a little favour for Mr Kemble. Track tip, business gossip - that's all.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: What favours have you done him recently?
Bernard Driscoll: Told you - I owed him money?
Det. Sgt. George Carter: What for?
Bernard Driscoll: A motor I bought for my old lady. Already she's scratched it and the dog's spewed up in the back. Why did Adam ever bite that apple?
Lopez: My friend, you have just begun your second life. Be careful if you have dark thoughts of Poderio when Miguel is around. The next time, there might not be no life for you to start over again.
Purple Dragon Gang Leader: S-sir? I... I, uh... my men... we, uh... we lost the armored car with the money. We were attacked by some sorta karate frog creatures or something. They took us by surprise, It wasn't my fault!
Oroku Saki: Enough!
Purple Dragon Gang Leader: I promise, sir. I won't fail you again.
Oroku Saki: I know. You won't fail me again, ever.
Monsieur Mallah: [after he's captured the kids] Say goodbye to your friends.
Raven: Nobody messes with my kids!
[flies after him]
[Hardie has arranged for Dawson's parole if the outlaw can locate his old cellmate]
Bob Dawson: Sayin' goodbye to the old jailhouse makes me kinda sad.
Jim Hardie: If we don't find Willis, we'll make you happy again.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Cops and robbers is a game I'm attuned to. I've seen too much life and death. Too many alcoholic cops because they're shaking inside. Too many divorces and suicides because of stress. Too many good men given a cop's funeral because some unthinking, unfeeling scum pulls a trigger on 'em.
Dorcus: You got no reason to hold me. There ain't no law against a man running his horse next to a train.
Jim Hardie: We got a lot of reasons to hold you. Your name's Frank Dorcas. You've got a bad habit of breaking into banks and out of jails.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: We're the Sweeney, son, and we haven't had any dinner - you've kept us waiting. So unless you want a kicking, you tell us where those photographs are.
Officer Eastman: Did you see that? Some little green men in an armored car just threw a bunch of money at us!
Officer Laird: Feh, rookie...
Trogaar: The Earth scum shall learn. It takes more than five juvenile heroes to defy the mighty Lord Torgaar.
[the weapon powers up. There's an explosion and the Titans appear]
Robin: We're not five heroes - We're one team!
Bleeker: Now as long as you stand perfectly still, Tarzan, you'll live, at least until Larson gets here. But if you move, the barrels roll apart and...
Travers: I've been thinkin' I've been ridin' this chair too long.
Jim Hardie: You're sure not going to get saddle sores swivelin' around in that thing all day.
Travers: No, it's what's been swivelin' around me all day that's been givin' me brain blisters.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: [In response to Romano saying he can't get a pizza with Hooker] Dance card's full?
Officer Vince Romano: Charlene Anne.
Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Charlene Anne?
Officer Vince Romano: Southern girl. Some kinda law down there they all gotta have two first names.
[Sheila Lyon is dancing around, dressed in tight-fitting dress which shows off her fantastic cleavage]
Det. Sgt. George Carter: [lustfully] Cor! That Sheila has got some lunch on her!
Robin: I thought we might want to keep in touch. So Cyborg and I designed these.
[presents communicators to everyone]
Cyborg: Made them out of my own circuits.
Robin: When there's trouble, you know who to call.
Jim Hardie: What do you think means more to me right now than anything else?
Mary Gee: That horse, I guess.
Jim Hardie: Well, there was a time I thought it did, too. Right now, I think it's more important for you to learn you can't buy something you've already got, and that's a friend... and there's only one way to prove it to you and that's to show you.
[speaking softly, Jim approaches the stallion Mary Gee captured and releases him]
Mary Gee: Jim!
Jim Hardie: We're still pals, aren't we?
Mary Gee: You bet.
Jim Hardie: Go get a horse now and we'll go on home.
Host: Who's going to live longest out of the four of you?
Larry Mullen Jr.: Why are you looking at me like that?
Bono: It's obvious. It's Dorian Gray over here. You know what I mean? There's a really ugly oil painting somewhere. But can I just say one thing? It's not that he's going to live longer. It's just going to *feel* longer.
[Vic Labbett has escaped. Daniels and his men are standing around aimlessly instead of giving chase]
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Where the hell is he?
DS Tom Daniels: I think he went over there, Guv.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Well what are you doing standing around looking like a motorway breakfast. Get going!
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: [to Carter] I'd have done better with half-a-dozen old-age pensioners!
Splinter: Well done, Leonardo.
Leonardo: [to Leo] Teacher's pet.
Leonardo: [to Raph] Ninja dropout.
Splinter: My sons! *sigh* My sons, If you are to become true ninja you must work harder. Your path in life will not be an easy one. The outside world will not be a friendly place for you. You four are different in ways the surface dwellers would never understand. To survive, you must master these skills I teach you. Ninjitsu powers of stealth and secrecy. You must become kage; shadow warriors. And you must never be discovered by the outside world.