Author Unknown quotes, page 29

Jack O'Neill: What's your situation?

Daniel Jackson: I'm hiding. What's yours?

Jack O'Neill: Carter and I are on the planet.

Daniel Jackson: You're gonna have to be a little more specific, Jack. I haven't had a chance to look out a window lately.

Jack O'Neill: You're hovering over Jonas' home world.

Daniel Jackson: Why?

Jack O'Neill: I wish I knew. Are you in any immediate danger?

Daniel Jackson: Eh, depends what you mean by immediate.

Jack O'Neill: Daniel.

Daniel Jackson: I'm fine. I got a location on Jonas' cell from the ship's computer. I'm on my way there right now. I just gotta couple of problems.

Jack O'Neill: Like what?

Daniel Jackson: Well, I'm not sure how to shut off the force field protecting his cell, yet.

Jack O'Neill: You said a couple?

Daniel Jackson: Yeah, actually, I'm a little lost at the moment. And I've only got about, uh, three hours left before the Tok'ra isotope wears off and I'm visible to the ships sensors.

Jack O'Neill: So business as usual then, huh?

Daniel Jackson: I dunno. Is it?

Jack O'Neill: Yes, we do this kinda thing all the time.

Daniel Jackson: Oh well, good. That's-that's comforting, then.

The Storyteller: There was one among the mourners who's heart was ice, who's soul was cold, who's smile was sly. Who's brain raced ahead to the day when the king would want to ease his loneliness. And the which, for which she was, fixed her dry eyes on the king and schemed.

Witch: Mine...

The Storyteller: She schemed...

Witch: Mine, all mine. And you may well weep.

Ferryman: I dare not think it possible you found the answer, but then you did come back... No one has ever come back.

Lucky: I have come back and I have the answer: the next passenger you have, give him your oar. Then your lot will be his, his freedom yours.

Ferryman: So simple...

[fights back tears]

Ferryman: so simple.

The Storyteller: And for the first time in years, centuries, hope fires the ferryman. A smile is forming in his mind, a tiny smile growing, getting ready to be born...

Prince: What's that look?

Scraggletag: It's a look. If there was a tax on looking, we'd all be beggars... sire.

Ezra Beam: Listen, I laugh all the way to the bank. Demonology and devil worship, man, that's the newest fad. It's legal and tax deductible. These nuts and kooks all want to be sorcerers and pay for the privilege.

Det. Dave Starsky: [to Hutch] I told you we were in the wrong business.

Colonel Sean Grieves: I'll say it again, I don't like the idea of going into this unarmed.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: And... I don't care.

Lieutenant Kershaw: I feel better just knowing there's an archaeologist watching our backs.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: [holds up a knife] Yeah, which end do the bullets go in again?

Colonel Sean Grieves: I'd be happy to show you.

Jack O'Neill: [as Teal'c] It did not go well, General Hammond.

Teal'c: [as Jack; sarcastically] Ya think?

The Storyteller: Two years later, a poor creature of fur and feathers tended geese in a king's garden. And scrubbed the pots in his kitchen, so that...

Storyteller's Dog: [interrupting] That's the princess!

The Storyteller: Princess of slops, yes. Princess of peeling, perhaps. Princess of the kitchen floor, certainly.

Ezra Beam: [Showing off his gaudy "church," filled with faux-pagan decor] Well, how do you like the way I converted the old pad?

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Yeah, it's, uh, real nice. Gotta lot of class, Ezra. Who's your decorator - Vincent Price?

Master Bra'tac: We die well, Teal'c.

Teal'c: More than that, old friend. We die free.

Jack O'Neill: Actually, it's called the accretion disk.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, I guess it's easy to understand why the local population would be afraid of something like-

[looks at Jack]

Dr. Daniel Jackson: What did you just say?

Jack O'Neill: It's just an astronomical term.

Samantha Carter: You didn't think the Colonel had a telescope on his roof just to look at the neighbors, did ya?

Jack O'Neill: Not initially.

Jack O'Neill: [Testing to see if Machello really is Daniel] All right. Describe for me the dress your sister wore last week when I took her out.

Daniel Jackson/Machello: I don't have a sister, Jack. And if I did I wouldn't let you near her.

Devil: Follow the map until you can go no further. Then go directly up until you get the sensation of standing on your head. That's the edge of heaven. After that, follow the church music.

Soldier: I won't go unless you give me a map to heaven and a way in.

[a small hatch in the door opens and a rolled up map is thrown out]

Soldier: [raises voice] And two hundred souls you have no further use for!

[grumbling noises from behind the door]

Devil: [sticks his head out of hatch] One hundred and fifty!

Soldier: [raises the sack above his head] Do you know what this is?

Devil: Don't wave that sack around. Alright, two hundred. Yech!

Sapsorrow: This gown is for the wedding feast. The first one for the procession. Now I must have one for the church. Gold it should be, gold as the sun. Bring me such a dress, and... the next day we shall wed.

Father Delacourt: [Looking at Starsky and Hutch's clothing] Now tell me something, with you two dressed like that, what's left for the criminals to wear?

Master Bra'tac: The warriors of Hakt'yl are grateful for your generosity.

Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Well, you know me, always willing to help those who... need help.

Master Bra'tac: You are indeed a wise and gracious leader, O'Neill of Minnesota.

Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Sit down you old coot.

[Carter's Mem. Service Speech]

Major Samantha Carter: Janet Frasier was an extraordinary person. She was kind and funny and talented. Above all, she was courageous. Try as I might, I could not find the words to honor her. To do justice to her life. Thankfully, I got some help. While words alone may not be enough, there are some names that might do. We often talk about those that give their lives in the service of their country. And while Janet Frasier did just that, that's not what her life was about. The following are the names of the men and women who did not die in service, but who are in fact alive today because of Janet. Major Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, Colonel Jack O'Neill, Teal'c, Sergeant Connie Smith,Major Ian Hules, Senior Airman Simon Wells. . .

[voice over for the documentary]

King: The ceremony, when must it take place?

Minister: As soon as the preparations allow.

Sapsorrow: Then first find me a dress of the palest silk, the colour of the moon. I will not wed till I have it.

Minister: Very well, we will find this dress.

The Storyteller: The princess in her woe plans a plan and schemes a scheme. To find such a gown will take time and meantime, you must all help me.

Det. Dave Starsky: Marlene, this is my partner Ken. Ken, this is Marlene.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: You know what? Sit here. You cover our six. But stay alert. You'll hear the bugs coming, but the tree ferrets give no warning.

French Representative LaPierre: Tree ferrets?

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, nasty buggers. Swoop down and separate a man's head from his torso before he can blink.

Jack O'Neill: Will you excuse me? We just don't get out of Cheyenne Mountain enough. I'm gonna grab some air... outside. General, Captain, General... waiter.

Emmett Bregman: I just, uh, came by to, uh, give this back to you. I'm not gonna use it.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wait. I want you to.

[pause]

Dr. Daniel Jackson: You know I died in this room? Ascended. Doctor Fraiser did everything she could. I mean, she went three days without sleep. Even in the end, she didn't wanna let me go. I owed her a lot more than I ever gave back. I thought a lot about what you said about, uh, Kristofsky. I think this shows what Janet Fraiser was all about.

Emmett Bregman: Me too.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: I want other people to know.

Innkeeper: That's a nice whistle.

Soldier: I got it off a poor soul down on his luck.

Badsister 2: [upset about their father's plan to marry again] He can't do that!

Badsister 1: Well, he's too old to be getting married, he ought to be dying shortly.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [In response to Starsky's badgering him to buy a new car] You just want me to drive around in a striped tomato like you got.

Det. Dave Starsky: [Stunned] My car's a striped what?

Jack O'Neill: Well, I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound.

[long pause]

Jack O'Neill: Nothing comes to mind. Let's do it.

Jack O'Neill: We have a rule here on Earth. Every kid has got to have a dog.

Emmett Bregman: Why is that camera off? You don't know what you're doing here. Maybe *I* know what I'm doing here! These people are risking their lives for us. I wanna *see* what they're going through even if they don't want us to. And I want other people to see it! What do you think they're doing out there? Protecting and defending secrecy? That's a world of-of Mao, the world of Stalin, a world of-of secret police, secret trials, secret-secret deaths. You force the press into the cold and all you will get is lies and innuendo. And *nothing*, nothing is worse for a free society than a press that is-that is in-in service to the-to the military and the politicians. Nothing! You turn that camera off when I tell you to turn it off! You think I give a damn what you think about me? You serve the people? So do I!

Little Man: [the Griffin is yawning] Then you go to sleep now, Busy day ahead, eating people and wreaking havoc...

The Storyteller: Beginning as I do at the beginning, and starting as I must at the start, let me show you fate through the round of this ring. The girl who's finger fits this ring, she'll become queen. The law degrees it. What a lucky girl you might think, hm? Oh no...

Huggy Bear: You know what they say: "Huggy Bear's is where the elite meet and come to greet and eat and flee the feet who are so sweet with the finer things of life, beep-beep, beep-beep, beep."

Bra'tac: We shall have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

Jack O'Neill: You know, that particular cliché doesn't... always work.

Jack O'Neill: What do you want?

Apophis: To live.

Jack O'Neill: Can't help you there. That's between you and your god. Oh, wait a minute, you *are* your god. That's a problem.

The Storyteller: And so the princess who could not keep her promise won back her husband through looking without hope of finding and holding on for dear life. And in time her hair grew red again and there was another wedding all over, and we were both invited. And I told the best story there is to tell: a story which begins in hello and ends in goodbye. And for a gift, she gave me a shoe worn to nothing. And... here it is

[holds up an empty hand and chuckles]

Grovelhog: [menacingly] How did you find me?

Princess: I have walked the world to find you and have worn out the souls of three pairs of iron shoes. My hair is no longer red. But I come to claim you and catch you up and snoodle you and hug you to bits.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Hey, Starsk, do you think Pat O'Brien will ever forgive us?

Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, Colonel! Colonel! I've been looking all over for you.

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: I heard.

[folds with arms as he turns back to face Rodney]

Dr. Rodney McKay: I suppose I deserve that. Look, I just, um, I wanted to apologise about what happened. I was wrong - I'm sorry. And I wanted to assure you that, uh, I intend not being right again - about everything, effective immediately.

[John smiles slightly]

Dr. Rodney McKay: That was a joke.

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Good one.

Dr. Rodney McKay: I've already apologised to Elizabeth... and Radek... and I thanked Colonel Caldwell for, uh, caring enough to spy on the experiment from orbit. I sent him a nice little email, actually. But I saved you 'til last 'cause, um, honestly, I would... I would hate to think that recent events might have permanently dimmed your faith in my abilities, or your trust. At the very least, I hope I can earn that back.

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: That may take a while.

Dr. Rodney McKay: I see.

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: But, I'm sure you can do it, if you really wanna try.

[they both smile]

Jack O'Neill: Jaffa jokes? Let's hear one of them.

Teal'c: I shall attempt to translate one, O'Neill.

[Teal'c thinks]

Teal'c: A Serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips.

Emmett Bregman: You know, I, uh... I once did a piece on this war photographer. His name was Martin Kristofski. For about six months, he was with a unit in Vietnam. And the day before he was scheduled to leave - the *day* before, he's out with the unit. And it was just a routine patrol, or so they thought. But suddenly, a Lieutenant pulled him down. And Kristofski - he hadn't intended to take a picture at that moment, but his hands were on the camera and he hit the ground so hard that it just went off. And the picture captured the Lieutenant getting shot in the head. And Kristofski said to me, he said, "Well, that-that bullet would've hit me, *should've* hit me." And he *never* showed that picture to *anyone*, not for 25 years. But 25 years later, he got up one morning, and he looked at that picture, and he saw something that wasn't horrific, and he decided to tell the story, because he realized that he hadn't accidentally taken a picture of a man dying. It was of a man saving his life.

Jessie: [Scowling at Starsky and Hutch] Plainclothes are the worst kind of fuzz.

Gary Filmon: Oh, Jessie, they're our guests.

Jessie: "Beware of false prophets that come to you in sheep's clothing and inwardly are ravenous wolves." Saint Matthew.

Vala Mal Doran: [sarcastically] I apologize for ever doubting your masterful skills at negotiation.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: He's doing the best he can.

Vala Mal Doran: Yeah, that's what terrifies me.

Lieutenant General George Hammond: I'm allowing the use of this ship because of the obvious tactical advantage it provides you. Under no circumstances is it to be used to travel through time. Understood?

Jack O'Neill: Yes, sir.

Lieutenant General George Hammond: Never in my life would I have imagined giving that order.

Cameron Balinsky: Look at this place, it's incredible!

Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, you seen one crumbled city...

Cameron Balinsky: This place was built by the ancients.

Colonel Dave Dixon: You sure?

Cameron Balinsky: Yes, these markings and this stone architecture... Dr Jackson is going to die when he sees this.

Colonel Dave Dixon: What, again?

Jack O'Neill: I do appreciate that you were the one that came to see if I was okay. That... that means something.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ah, actually, no, it doesn't.

Jack O'Neill: Na?

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Um... we, ah, we drew straws. I lost.

The Storyteller: And so the soldier set up in his new trade as miracle man and travelled the world on a camel with his magic glass. Show him a sick man and he would hold up the glass. If Death sat at the foot of the bed, a quick splish, splash and up the invalid would sit, pouring out blessings. If Death stood staring at the other end, the soldier would shake his head solemnly and depart. And the relatives would mutter: 'what a pitty, he came too late' and pay him all the same.

Grovelhog: To the health of that most beautiful woman who could not keep her promise for one more day.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You know something? You look terrible.

Det. Dave Starsky: Hey, don't let me fool you; I played Camille in high school.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: All those years you were fighting the Goa'uld, did you ever just step back and say "sooner or later our luck's going to run out and we're gonna get our asses kicked"?

Teal'c: Never.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Never, not once? Even though you were vastly outnumbered fighting an opponent with superior technology and firepower.

Teal'c: They may have had the superior forces and resources but we possessed something far greater.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Which was?

Teal'c: A just cause. I had no doubt the Goa'uld would be defeated. Perhaps not in my lifetime but I knew eventually they would fall and I have no doubt the same fate awaits the Ori.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: You see that's what I like about you, you're always positive. Hell, you've probably already passed this bug situation and are thinking about what movie you want to watch tomorrow night.

Teal'c: I was considering "Old School".

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Actually, General, the Tollan refused to give us any technology.

Jack O'Neill: Offered us a nice fruit basket, though.

Jack O'Neill: You know, maybe it's just me, but I always thought that when one got some leave, one actually *left*.

Grovelhog: Do you find me very ugly?

Princess: No sir, not so ugly as going back on a promise.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Sure your arm's gonna be all right?

Det. Dave Starsky: Couldn't be better. I told ya, Gene Autry gets it there all the time.

[explaining an energy weapon to Sheppard]

Dr. Rodney McKay: The sticking point is that, ah, there is no tie between the power generator and the primary capacitor.

Dr. Zelenka: Meaning that they would have to channel the power directly into the weapon.

Dr. Rodney McKay: Which I'm sure that means nothing to you.

Maj. John Sheppard: It means they could fire multiple bursts without having to store more power for the next firing sequence.

Dr. Rodney McKay: [surprised] Yes... very good.

Maj. John Sheppard: Which leads me back to 'cool'!

Thor: [about the replicators] You have demonstrated their weakness may be found through a less... sophisticated approach. We are no longer capable of such thinking.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wait a minute. You're actually saying that you need someone dumber than you are?

Colonel Jack O'Neill: You may have come to the right place.

Major Samantha Carter: So, you wanna talk?

Teal'c: Concerning what subject?

Major Samantha Carter: I don't know. How's Rya'c?

Teal'c: Fine.

Major Samantha Carter: You still keeping in touch with Ishta?

Teal'c: Indeed.

Major Samantha Carter: Bra'tac?

Teal'c: Bra'tac is well.

Major Samantha Carter: Come on, Teal'c. Throw me a bone here.

Teal'c: How is Pete Shanahan?

Major Samantha Carter: He's fine.

Soldier's Wife: Oh what shall we do? My lips are sore with praying and my knees are weary of kneeling.

Soldier: I have lost my whistle from worrying. It's the very devil I say, the very devil.

Soldier: [the devil's foot in the window begins to shake] Now where the devil's that devil of mine?

Devil: [the devil appears in a puff of smoke] I'm here, you're excellency.

Soldier: Where have you sprung from?

Devil: Not so much sprung as hopped, sir. You have my foot.

Soldier: Cure my son and you can have it back. This is my good wife by the way, and this is my devil.

Devil: Hmm, how do you do?

The Storyteller: Well, this king woke up the next morning after a night of the kind of dreams you only dream about. And he opened his eyes and almost yanked off his ear because he found himself under a tree which certainly wasn't where he'd fallen asleep. And more confusing: it was a tree from which he could see the edge of his kingdom. And he began to dance as only kings once lost and then found can dance: a jigg, a jiggle-joggle and a leap.

Tom Lockly: They say the rain washes everything clean. It's gonna take a lot of it before we're through here.

Major Samantha Carter: If there are still a small enough number of the replicators on board, a properly equipped team could possibly...

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Save the world?

Major Samantha Carter: Getting old for you, sir?

Sam Carter: Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?

Jack O'Neill: Close enough.

The Storyteller: Oh... yes, everything is dandy with our friend the good soldier and his magic sack. Rewarded by the Tsar, he's a rich gentleman now, a husband, and a father and lives in the castle. Blessed, caressed and couldn't be better. Until one day, because fate is fickle, one day, because fortune is cruel, his son falls into a terrible fever.

The Storyteller: And when all was done, he went to his mother and she kisses him and then to his dad and hugged him. And the farmer knew for the first time how soft he was. They watched him until he was a faint smudge in the distance. And his mother felt a crack in her heart like a tiny pencil line. And each day after, the pencil line got thicker and thicker, and one day not long after, her heart split in half, and she died.

Det. Dave Starsky: Huuutch!

Major Samantha Carter: We kicked their asses.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: They had asses?

[SG-1 has been made slaves in a mine]

Jack O'Neill: You know, I've seen an awful lot of union violations around here. I should probably speak to your supervisor.

Griffin: [taking offence to being called a monster or a beast] My bird! My misunderstood bird. My not beastie!

Young Grovelhog: Father, all night I lay outdoor to understand why you don't love me. And I thought until I thought a hole in the grass. And now it's alright. When I have the sadle, I'll go.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [Entering his kitchen, where Starsky is sitting on the counter and eating] That's a great breakfast. Root beer and cold pizza.

Det. Dave Starsky: It's the all-American breakfast. Just for the autopsy record, what's that you mash up in there every morning?

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [Pouring and sprinkling items into a blender] Goat's milk, a little blackstrap molasses, sea kelp, lecithin, a little desiccated liver; of course, a good sprinkle of it has trace elements and vitamins.

Det. Dave Starsky: Of course.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Y'know, Starsky, you oughta get into something like this. Make a new man outta ya.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Are we still doing movie night?

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Yeah, why not?

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, I've already picked something out.

Teal'c: Old School.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Starship Troopers.

Teal'c: Is it humorous?

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Is it ever.

Thor: The Asgard would never invent a weapon that propels small weights of iron and carbon alloys, by igniting a powder of potassium nitrate, charcoal and sulfur.

Sam Carter: Look, if we don't make it...

[kisses Jack]

Jack O'Neill: [angrily] Wait a minute! You said you liked Daniel.

Sam Carter: I lied.

Griffin: Stop yap yap! Stink, stench, stank of man meat. My not like.

[a beat]

Griffin: Okay, food now.

Colonel Dave Dixon: Well, I don't see any indication of anything here.

Cameron Balinsky: Take the usual bet on that, sir?

Colonel Dave Dixon: Sure. Wells?

Senior Airman Simon Wells: Abandoned naquadah mine.

Colonel Dave Dixon: Boring. Good odds. Bosworth?

Senior Airman Jake Bosworth: I'm gonna put my money on trees, sir.

Colonel Dave Dixon: Bosworth's disqualified for being a smart ass. I'll go with two-headed aliens.

Senior Airman Simon Wells: Hostile or friendly, sir?

Colonel Dave Dixon: One head good, one head bad. Balinsky?

Cameron Balinsky: Oh, ruins of an ancient city.

Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, you wish.

Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, all-night screaming, projectile vomiting, nuclear diapers... you have no idea. The reason they make them so damn cute is so you don't suffocate 'em in their sleep.

Senior Airman Simon Wells: Sir, you have *four* kids.

Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, why do you think I enjoy my job so much? Don't get me wrong, I love the little buggers to death, but trust me, havin' four kids makes going through a Stargate and facin' off against alien bad guys look like nothin'. This is relaxing.

Senior Airman Simon Wells: Then why'd you have four?

Colonel Dave Dixon: Well, one's pretty bad, but you figure you gotta have two so the little guy can have a brother or sister, right? Then you have two boys, and the wife says she want a girl so you figure "Hell, three can't be much worse than two", right? What you don't realize is your brain is fried 'cause you haven't slept. After three, four is no big deal. You're so deep in it, nothin' seems to matter any more. It's chaos. You're just tryin' to make it through each day alive. In the end you spend all the energy you have left tryin' to get 'em into bed only to lie awake prayin' they don't get hooked on drugs, hurt, or worse... wind up dead in an alley somewhere.

Senior Airman Simon Wells: Can't wait, sir.

Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, miracle of birth, my ass. I'll tell you what a miracle is, birth control that works.

Samantha Carter: Why do I feel like I'm in a women behind bars movie?

Jack O'Neill: Is mental illness contagious?

Major Samantha Carter: Came to give me a pep talk?

Colonel Jack O'Neill: That's what friends are for.

Major Samantha Carter: Friends...

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Hey, this is you talking here. Might as well be honest.

Major Samantha Carter: What if I quit the Air Force? Would that change anything or is it just an excuse?

Cameron Balinsky: [SG-13 discovers Ancient built ruins] Oh, Dr. Jackson is gonna die when he sees this.

Colonel Dave Dixon: What, again?

Cameron Balinsky: Funny.

Daniel Jackson: Hathor was the Egyptian goddess of fertility, inebriety, and music.

Jack O'Neill: Sex, drugs, and rock & roll?

Daniel Jackson: In a manner of speaking.

The Storyteller: And it happened in a week with two fridays that the cruel king heard of a prophesy. A child had been born reported his spies, a luck child. Poor as penants, rich as snow, the seventh son of a seventh son. Wize men prophesied this child would one day be king.

Samantha Carter: [after knocking Hammond unconscious] Yeah, my career is over.

Dr. Janet Fraiser: Don't worry about it. I can fix him up as good as new when this thing's over.

Samantha Carter: Great, so he can bring me up on charges.

The Storyteller: A "boo" to the king!

Storyteller's Dog: Boo!

The Storyteller: And a hiss!

Storyteller's Dog: Hiss!

Storyteller' Dog: What's in your bag? I can smell biscuits.

The Storyteller: Imagination!

Q: [to Neelix] You, bar rodent!

Major Samantha Carter: I've just never blown up a star before.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Well, they say the first one's always the hardest.

Neelix: You know something? You're acting more Tuvokian than usual this morning.

Lieutenant Tuvok: I am who I am, Mr. Neelix. It is impossible for me to be more or less like myself.

Seven of Nine: Oral consumption is inefficient.

The Doctor: And unnecessary, if you're lucky enough to be a hologram.

Major Samantha Carter: This is the sun that Vorash is orbiting. It's a regular main sequence star with a core temperature of about fifteen million degrees and enough hydrogen to burn for another five billion years.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Yeah?

Jacob Carter/Selmak: We wanna blow it up.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Wow.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: That's, uh...

Colonel Jack O'Neill, Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ambitious.

Q: Oh, Kathy, don't be such a prude. Admit it - it has been a while.

Captain Janeway: And it's gonna be a while longer.

Jacob Carter/Selmak: My mission is to oversee the relocation of the Tok'ra base. What's yours again?

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Protect Earth's big fat asset.

[last lines]

Seven of Nine: I've spent the last three years struggling to regain my humanity. I'm afraid I may have lost it again in that arena.

Tuvok: You're experiencing difficult emotions.

Seven of Nine: Guilt... shame, remorse.

Tuvok: Then you haven't lost your humanity. You have reaffirmed it.

The Doctor: [to Seven] You could be experiencing some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: It makes sense. You were assimilated by the Borg. You've gone through an intense, prolonged trauma.

Seven of Nine: I was not traumatized, I was raised by the Borg. I don't see them as threatening. Why would I experience fear?

Jacob Carter/Selmak: You have to take that to the secondary cargo hold. We need to make room for the Stargate.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Hey! Don't scuff the walls. I want this ship back the way we found it.

Captain Janeway: [seeing the Q mate, merely by the touch of their index fingers] That was it?

Q: You had your chance. Don't go crying about it now.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, I think we have a problem here. I figure that flashing wasn't good news, and the fact that in Goa'uld it says... Warning, Warning.

Hirogen Hunter: You must never sympathize with your prey. Unless you accept that, you-will-die.

Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Thought I'd just drop by and say- Ow!

Security Force Officer: [from outside] Sir, please do not resist.

Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Hey, ease up, big guy!

Major Samantha Carter: [to the pilots] ... stay focused.

Security Force Officer: [from outside] Relax, sir.

Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Okay, I'm warning you...

Security Force Officer: [from outside] Sir, please, stay there

Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Didn't I just say I was warning you? Hey! Oh! All right! That's it! Now, I'm mad!

Major Samantha Carter: [Sam opens the door to see the young Colonel O'neill pinned to a wall by two Security Force Officers] You can release him.

Young Jack O'Neill: [the guards release him] I'll forgo the charges for assaulting a superior officer. Carter... I could've taken him.

Major Samantha Carter: I'm sure

Teal'c: The propulsion system and communication array have been damaged beyond repair.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Ah, that's good. Because according to my calculations we are roughly in the middle of nowhere. Give or take.

The Champion: You're no bigger than a Tarkanian field mouse. Penk's insulting me by putting you in the Pit to face me.

Seven of Nine: I must warn you: I possess superior strength.

The Champion: I'm trembling.