Author Unknown quotes, page 19

Dean Winchester: I talked to the bartender.

Sam Winchester: You get anything? Besides her number?

Dean Winchester: Dude. I'm a professional. I'm offended that you would think that.

[pause, Sam gives Dean a look]

Dean Winchester: All right, yeah.

[he holds up a napkin with the number]

Sam Winchester: You mind doin' a little bit of thinkin' with your upstairs brain, Dean?

[Brainiac is downloading himself into a satellite to escape Krypton]

Brainiac: If the Council knew the truth of Krypton's fate, they woudl frantically put me to work on an escape plan. A futile gesture, given the time remaining.

Jor-El: How long?

Brainiac: Hours. This world has seen its last sunrise.

[Sam, Dean and Emily prepare to burn the sacred tree and destroy the scarecrow god]

Emily: Let me.

[she takes the torch from Dean]

Dean Winchester: You know the whole town's gonna die.

Emily: Good.

[she throws the torch, the tree goes up in flames]

[as Kal-El's ship launches, another earthquake starts]

Driver Cop: Not another one!

Sul-Van: No... the last one.

Scotty: You do understand, Harley. All of us here, it's, it's our responsibility to protect the town.

Harley Jorgeson: I understand. Better than all of you! I'm the one that gives them directions. I'm the one that sends them down to the orchard!

Sheriff: Harley. Please.

Harley Jorgeson: We all close our doors. Look the other way. Pretend we can't hear the screams. But this is different. This is murder!

Stacey Jorgeson: It's angry with us. Already the trees are beginning to die. Tonight's the seventh night of the cycle, our last chance.

Harley Jorgeson: If the boy has to die, the boy has to die. But why does it have to be her?

[cut to them forcing Emily into the cellar with Dean]

Emily: [frightened] Aunt Stacey, Uncle Harley, please! Why are you doing this?

Stacey Jorgeson: For the common good.

Sul-Van: Send Kal-El to another world? That's madness!

Jor-El: The ship will get him there. I know, I built it. That was the plan: save everyone in the Phantom Zone, travel to Earth and then release them. Now it's only good for a lifeboat. And the passenger will be my son. The last son of Krypton.

College Professor: I'm afraid Indiana isn't really known for its pagan worship.

Dean Winchester: Well what if it was imported? You know, like the Pilgrims brought their religion over. Wasn't a lot of this area settled by immigrants?

College Professor: Yeah.

Dean Winchester: Like that town near here, Burkettsville. Where're their ancestors from?

College Professor: Ah, Northern Europe I believe, Scandinavia.

Dean Winchester: Well what could you tell me about those pagan gods?

College Professor: Well there are hundreds of Norse gods and goddesses.

Dean Winchester: I'm actually lookin' for one. Might live in an orchard.

College Professor: [looking in a book] A woods god, hm? Well, let's see.

[flips through the book, Dean sees a picture that resembles the scarecrow]

Dean Winchester: Wait, wait, what's that one?

College Professor: Well, that's not a woods god, per se.

Dean Winchester: [reads] The Vanir were Norse gods of protection and prosperity, keeping local settlements safe from harm. The villages built effigies of the Vanir in their fields, other villages practiced human sacrifice, one male, and one female.

[about the picture]

Dean Winchester: Kinda looks like a scarecrow, huh?

College Professor: Well, I suppose.

Dean Winchester: This particular Vanir, its energy sprung from a sacred tree?

College Professor: Well, pagans believed all kinds of things were infused with magic.

Dean Winchester: So what would happen if this sacred tree was torched? You think it'd kill the god?

College Professor: [laughs] Son, these are just legends we're discussing.

Dean Winchester: Oh, of course. Yeah, you're right. Listen, thank you, very much.

Lara-El: Did everything go all right out there?

Jor-El: Oh yeah, I encountered a very nasty shoggot. All in all, I prefer your arms.

Dean Winchester: So, did you grow up here?

Emily: Came here when I was thirteen. I lost my parents. Car accident. My aunt and uncle took me in.

Dean Winchester: Are they nice people?

Emily: Everybody's nice here.

Dean Winchester: So what, it's the uh, perfect little town?

Emily: Well you know, it's the boonies, but I love it. I mean, the towns around us, people are losing their homes, their farms. But here... it's almost like we're blessed.

Superman: Are you from Krypton?

Brainiac: I am Krypton.

Dean Winchester: Dad said it wasn't safe. For any of us. I mean, he obviously knows somethin' that we don't, so if he says to stay away, we stay away!

Sam Winchester: I don't understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it's like you don't even question him!

Dean Winchester: Yeah, it's called being a good son!

Superman: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Lex Luthor: Precisely. Though in your case I'll make an exception.

Sam Winchester: We're not goin' to Indiana.

Dean Winchester: We're not?

Sam Winchester: No. We're going to California. Dad called from a payphone. With a Sacramento area code.

Dean Winchester: Sam...

Sam Winchester: Dean, if this demon killed Mom and Jess and Dad's closing in, we gotta be there. We gotta help!

Dean Winchester: Dad doesn't want our help!

Sam Winchester: Well I don't care!

Dean Winchester: He's given us an order!

Sam Winchester: I *don't care*! We don't always have to do what he says!

Dean Winchester: Sam, Dad is asking us to work jobs, to *save lives*, it's important!

Sam Winchester: All right, I understand, believe me, I understand, but I'm talking one week, here, man, to get answers. To get revenge!

Dean Winchester: All right, look, I know how you feel...

Sam Winchester: Do you?

[laughs slightly]

Sam Winchester: How old were you when Mom died? Four? Jess died, *six months ago*. How the hell would you know how I feel?

The Flash: Man of Steel, feet of lead!

Inspector Steve Keller: [On stakeout, discussing hitman Art Styles] He's with a girl. Mary Rae Dortmunder.

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: Mary Rae Dortmunder? That's a crummy name for a go-go dancer.

Inspector Steve Keller: She's a teacher. Schoolteacher.

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: Well, that's better. Mary Rae Dortmunder. Now that's a good name for a schoolteacher.

Sam Winchester: All right, so the names Dad gave us, they're all couples?

Dean Winchester: Three different couples, all went missing.

Sam Winchester: And they're all from different towns, different states?

Dean Winchester: That's right, yeah, Washington, New York, Colorado. Each couple took a road trip cross country, none of 'em arrived at their destination, none of 'em were ever heard from again.

Sam Winchester: Well it's a big country Dean, they could've disappeared anywhere.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, could've, but each one's route took 'em through the same part of Indiana. Always on the second week of April, one year after another after another.

Sam Winchester: This is the second week of April.

Dean Winchester: Yep.

Sam Winchester: So Dad is sending us to Indiana, to go hunting for something before another couple vanishes?

Dean Winchester: Yahtzee.

[LexCorp unveils the prototype battle suit]

Lois Lane: Lex, are you trying to put the Man of Steel out of business?

Lex Luthor: Given your knack for getting into trouble, Miss Lane, I thought you'd appreciate a few extra rescuers.

[laughter]

Clark Kent: Touche.

Lois Lane: Whose side are you on?

Mr. Llewellyn: Lieutenant? Are you finished? Are you through playing "Taps" for Frankie? And if you are, maybe you can find your way off this boat and back to your car?

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: No, I've got a couple minutes left on the meter. And I want you to understand that if you lay a hand on Roy Chaffee, I'm gonna have your arm up to the elbow.

John Winchester: I think I'm finally closing in on it.

Sam Winchester: Let us help.

John Winchester: You can't. You can't be any part of it.

Sam Winchester: Why not?

Dean Winchester: [holding out a hand] Gimme the phone.

John Winchester: Listen Sammy, that's why I'm callin'. You and your brother, you gotta stop lookin' for me. All right, now I need you to write down these names.

Sam Winchester: Names? What names? Dad, what... talk to me, tell me what's going on!

John Winchester: Look, we don't have time for this! This is bigger than you think, they're everywhere. Even us talking right now, it's, it's not safe.

Sam Winchester: No! All right? No way!

Dean Winchester: Gimme the phone!

John Winchester: I've given you an order. Now you stop following me, and you do your job. You understand me? Now take down these names.

Dean Winchester: [snatching the phone] Dad! It's me, where are you?

[he listens]

Dean Winchester: Yes sir. Uh. Yeah, I got a pen. What're the names?

Clark Kent: L.L.? Lana Lang? What's a woman like Lana doing with Luthor?

Lois Lane: Don't tell me you know her.

Clark Kent: We... used to date.

Lois Lane: Get out!

Clark Kent: In high school.

Lois Lane: She's certainly come up in the world.

[off his look]

Lois Lane: From Smallville, I mean.

Sam Winchester: [on cell] Dad, where are you?

John Winchester: Sorry kiddo, I can't tell you that.

Sam Winchester: What? Why not?

Dean Winchester: Is that Dad?

John Winchester: Look, I know this is hard for you to understand, you just, you're gonna have to trust me on this.

Sam Winchester: You're after it aren't you? The thing that killed Mom.

John Winchester: Yeah. It's a demon, Sam.

Sam Winchester: A demon? You know for sure?

Dean Winchester: A demon, what's he sayin'?

John Winchester: I do. Listen Sammy, I uh, I also know what happened to your girlfriend. I'm so sorry. I would've done anything to protect you from that.

[Lana's kidnappers shoot bullets at Superman, without effect]

Superman: I guess you haven't heard about me.

Big Susan: Sure we have.

[pushes Lana out of the elevator]

Big Susan: You like to save people!

Inspector Steve Keller: [Discussing Big Jake] Y'know, for a guy who's had his bell rung as many times as this Wilson, he thinks pretty good.

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: If we're on the right track, buddy-boy, he's not the headwork; he's the muscle.

[coming upon the scarecrow]

Vince: Check it out. If I only had a brain.

Holly: We wouldn't be lost.

Vince: Thanks. That has got to be the freakiest damn scarecrow I've ever seen.

Holly: It scares me.

Lana Lang: Put me down, you fashion-disabled Amazon!

Inspector Steve Keller: [Considering cops to go undercover on skid row] How do you feel about Avarczech?

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: Are you kidding? That fuzz-faced kid? Why, he'd stick out like a harp polisher in a house full of hookers.

Dean Winchester: So, can I drop you off somewhere?

Sam Winchester: Nah, I think you're stuck with me.

Dean Winchester: What made you change your mind?

Sam Winchester: I didn't. I still want to find Dad... and you're still a pain in the ass. But Jess and Mom... they're both gone. Dad is God knows where. You and me, we're all that's left. So, uh, if we're gonna see this through, we're gonna do it together.

Dean Winchester: Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful.

Clark Kent: Lana, you know I really care about you. You're like...

Lana Lang: Clark Kent, I swear, if you say "I'm like a sister to you" I'm going back to Lex!

Dean Winchester: Dude, you fugly.

Lana Lang: Clark! Clark!

[Superman emerges from the wave of lead]

Lana Lang: You're a mess.

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: Where's Keller?

Inspector James 'Jim' Martin, SFPD: I tried reaching him at home like you asked, but...

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: I know. He's got his own night shift going.

Emily: [Emily and Dean are tied to trees to be sacrificed to the scarecrow] So, what's the plan?

Dean Winchester: I'm workin' on it.

[Hours later]

Emily: You don't have a plan do you?

Dean Winchester: I'm workin' on it!

Lana Lang: [gasps, shocked by the sight of all the weapons surrounding her in the storage room] He calls this *safe*?

Sam Winchester: [On the phone] You know, if you're hinting you need my help, just ask.

Dean Winchester: I'm not hinting anything. Actually, uh... I want you to know... I mean, don't think...

Sam Winchester: Yeah. I'm sorry too.

Dean Winchester: Sam. You were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.

Sam Winchester: You serious?

Dean Winchester: You've always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to Dad. And you always have. Hell, I wish I... Anyway, I admire that about you. I'm proud of you, Sammy.

Sam Winchester: I don't even know what to say.

Dean Winchester: Say you'll take care of yourself.

Sam Winchester: I will.

Dean Winchester: Call me when you find Dad.

Sam Winchester: [sadly] Ok. Bye, Dean.

[They hang up. Meg wakes up and sits next to Sam]

Meg: Who was that?

Sam Winchester: My brother.

Meg: What'd he say?

Sam Winchester: Goodbye.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Oh, sh... oot my monkey...

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: [to Groat] You were here, too, huh? The three of you. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

[Sam finds Dean and Emily tied up in the orchard]

Dean Winchester: [relieved] Oh, I take everything back I said. I'm so happy to see you! C'mon.

[Sam starts untying him]

Dean Winchester: How'd you get here?

Sam Winchester: I uh... stole a car.

Dean Winchester: Ha-ha-ha! That's my boy! Keep an eye on that scarecrow. It could come alive any minute.

Sam Winchester: [looking] What scarecrow?

[Dean gets up and looks; the scarecrow is gone]

[Superman makes Mr Mxyzptlk nearly crash into a wall]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Nice try, Blue! But not good enough!

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: Don't you ever answer the phone?

Inspector Steve Keller: Not when it's in the refrigerator, no.

[Dean and Emily are tied up in the apple orchard to be sacrificed]

Dean Winchester: How many people have you killed, sheriff? How much blood is on your hands?

Sheriff: We don't kill them.

Dean Winchester: No, but you sure cover up after. I mean how many cars have you hidden, clothes have you buried?

Emily: [crying, frightened] Uncle Harley, please.

Harley Jorgeson: [grieved] I am so sorry, Em. I wish it wasn't you.

Stacey Jorgeson: Try to understand. It's our responsibility. And there's just no other choice. There's nobody else but you.

Emily: I'm your family!

Stacey Jorgeson: Sweetheart. That's what sacrifice means. Giving up something you love, for the greater good. The town needs to be saved. The good of the many, outweighs the good of the one.

[they leave]

Dean Winchester: I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!

Mr. Mxyzptlk: You wanna play hard ball? Fine!

[turns into a rocket]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Hey, Super! Get a load of me! The ultimate smart bomb, complete with a kryptonite warhead!

[Dean and Emily are imprisoned in a cellar]

Emily: I don't understand. They're gonna kill us?

Dean Winchester: Sacrifice us. Which is... I don't know, classier I guess. You really didn't know anything about this, did you?

Emily: About what? The scarecrow god? I can't believe this.

Dean Winchester: Well, you better start believing, 'cause I'm gonna need your help.

Emily: Okay.

Dean Winchester: Now. We can destroy the scarecrow, but we gotta find the tree.

Emily: What tree?

Dean Winchester: Well, maybe you can help me with that. It would be really old. The locals would treat it with a lot of respect. You know, like it was sacred.

Emily: There's this one apple tree. The immigrants brought it over with them. They call it the First Tree.

[in the form of a fighter plane]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: [shooting at Superman] *Banzai!*

[to scarecrow]

Dean Winchester: Nice tatt.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: You can't outfly me!

Superman: Watch me!

Mr. Mxyzptlk: OH YEAH?

Dean Winchester: [to the scarecrow] Dude, you fugly.

[the Daily Planet staff turn into animals]

Jimmy Olsen: Wow! Look at all these animals! This is too weird...

[turns into a turtle]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Whoa, you're fast, kiddo!

Bus Station Clerk: Sorry, the Sacramento bus doesn't run again 'til tomorrow. Uh, 5: 05 pm.

Sam Winchester: Tomorrow? There's got to be another way.

Bus Station Clerk: Well there is. Buy a car.

Lois Lane: Is that a penguin?

Clark Kent: I'm afraid so.

[Lois turns into a horse]

Clark Kent: Here we go...

Sam Winchester: [on cell] The scarecrow climbed off its cross?

Dean Winchester: Yeah I'm tellin' you. Burkettsville Indiana. Fun little town.

Sam Winchester: It didn't kill the couple, did it?

Dean Winchester: No. No, I *can* cope without you, you know.

Sam Winchester: So something must be animating it. A spirit.

Dean Winchester: No, it's more than a spirit. It's a god. A pagan god, anyway.

Sam Winchester: What makes you say that?

Dean Winchester: The annual cycle of its killings, and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman, like some kind of fertility rite. And you should see the locals. The way they treated this couple. Fattening 'em up like a Christmas turkey.

Sam Winchester: The last meal. Given to sacrificial victims.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, I'm thinkin' a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.

Sam Winchester: So a god possesses a scarecrow...

Dean Winchester: ...The scarecrow takes its sacrifice, and for another year the crops won't wilt and disease won't spread.

Sam Winchester: You know which god you're dealin' with?

Dean Winchester: No, not yet.

Sam Winchester: Well, you figure out what it is, you can figure out a way to kill it.

Dean Winchester: I'm actually on my way to a local community college. I've got an appointment with a professor. You know, since I don't have my trusty sidekick geek boy to do all the research.

[Mxyzptlk heads off to Metropolis... and comes back in three seconds flat]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: [to Gysptlnz] Not ONE word!

Sam Winchester: You trust shady van guy and not me?

Meg: [smiles] Definitely!

Mr. Mxyzptlk: So long, Gspy! Don't wait up!

[With a laugh, Mxyzptlk disappears]

Gsptlsnz: [yawns] Five, four, three...

Mr. Mxyzptlk: [appears] NUTS! NUTS! NUTS!

Dean Winchester: Hi, my name is John Bonham.

Scotty: Isn't that the drummer for Led Zeppelin?

Dean Winchester: Wow. Good. Classic rock fan.

[inside a giant robot]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: NOW you're gonna get it! Oh, yeah!

Sam Winchester: So Dad is sending us to Indiana to go hunting for something before another couple vanishes?

Dean Winchester: Yahtzee!

Gsptlsnz: Mxy, I wore this outfit just for you...

Gsptlsnz: No time for love, babe! Got to beat Superman, got to beat Superman...

Gsptlsnz: Oh, Mxy, I don't like the way you're obsessing over this Superman person. Using our powers to torment humans is so three-dimensional...

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Got-to-beat-SUPERMAN!

Gsptlsnz: If you're obsessed with him that much, why don't you, oh I don't know, destroy him?

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Hey, that's it! Next time I'll finish him off befre he can trick me! Thanks, Gspy, you're the best!

[kisses his wife]

Gsptlsnz: Yeah, yeah. Love you too...

Sam Winchester: [about Cassie] I like her.

Dean Winchester: Yeah.

Sam Winchester: You meet someone like her... Ever make you wonder if it's worth it? Putting everything else on hold, doing what we do?

[long pause, Dean fishes sunglasses out of the glove compartment, puts them on and leans back in his seat]

Dean Winchester: Why don't you wake me up when it's my turn to drive?

Mr. Mxyzptlk: [storming into his home] Nuts! Nuts! Nuts!

Gsptlsnz: He beat you again, huh?

Mr. Mxyzptlk: [snarls] Don't you start with me, Gsptlnz!

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: A cop's life is like looking down a long hall of mirrors. Every case shows him another part of himself. And if he hates what he's looking at, he can't do his job.

Cassie Robinson: My mother says to tell you thanks again.

[pause]

Cassie Robinson: This was a better good-bye than last time.

Dean Winchester: Yeah well, maybe this time it'll be a little less permanent.

Cassie Robinson: You know what? I'm a realist. I don't see much hope for us, Dean.

Dean Winchester: Well, I've seen stranger things happen. Helluva lot stranger.

Cassie Robinson: [smiling sadly] Good-bye, Dean.

Dean Winchester: I'll see you Cassie. I will.

[Mr Mxyzptlk appears in the Daily Planet just as Clark Kent prints out an article]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Ha, ha! You think you're pretty smart, don't you?

Clark Kent: Look, little man, I'm tired of this! If it's a fight you want...

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Oh, it is! It is!

Clark Kent: Fine! First let me proofread this article, and I'll meet you on the roof in twenty minutes...

Mr. Mxyzptlk: No stalling! I'll edit the rag for you!

[grabs Clark's article and magically picks out its spelling mistakes]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: There! Hey! What...? NO!

[vanishes]

Lois Lane: [passing by, glancing up the article] You're getting sloppy, Smallville. This sentence is cluttered with typos.

[gives the article back to Clark and leaves]

Clark Kent: K, L, T, P, Z...

Mrs. Robinson: Cyrus Dorian died more than forty years ago.

Dean Winchester: How do you know he died, Mrs. Robinson? The paper said he went missing. How do you know he died?

Mrs. Robinson: We were all very young. I dated Cyrus awhile. I, I was also seeing Martin, in secret of course, because, interracial couples didn't go over too well then. When I broke it off with Cyrus, and when he found out about Martin... I don't know, he, he changed. His, his hatred. His hatred was frightening.

Sam Winchester: The string of murders.

Mrs. Robinson: There were rumors. People of color disappearing into some kind of a truck. Nothing was ever done. Martin and uh, Martin and I, we were gonna be uh, married in that little church near here, but uh, last minute we decided to elope, because we didn't want all the attention.

Dean Winchester: And Cyrus?

Mrs. Robinson: [crying] The day we set for the wedding, was the day someone set fire to the church. There was a children's choir practice in there! They all died.

Sam Winchester: Did the attacks stop after that?

Mrs. Robinson: No! There was one more. One night, that truck came for Martin. Cyrus beat him something terrible. But Martin, you see, Martin got loose, and he started hitting Cyrus and he just kept hitting him and h-hitting him!

Dean Winchester: Why didn't you call the cops?

Mrs. Robinson: This was forty years ago! He called on his friends, Clayton Soames and Jimmy Anderson, and they put Cyrus's body into the truck and rolled it into the swamp at the edge of his land and all three of them kept that secret all these years.

Sam Winchester: And now all three are gone.

Dean Winchester: So is Mayor Todd. Now he said, that you of all people would know that he is not a racist. Why would he say that?

Mrs. Robinson: He was a good man. He was a young deputy back then, investigating Cyrus's disappearance. Once he figured out what Martin and the others had done, he... he did nothing. Because he also knew what Cyrus had done.

Cassie Robinson: Why didn't you tell me?

Mrs. Robinson: I thought I was protecting him. And now there's no one left to protect!

Dean Winchester: Yes there is.

[he looks at Cassie]

Clark Kent: [trying to pronounce Mxyzptlk] Hmmmm... MICKS-ILL-PLIK...

[Mxyzptlk pops out of a comic]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: No! Repeat after me, bright boy: it's MIX...

[turns into a mixer]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: YEEZ...

[turns into an album cover]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: SPIT...

[spits in Clark's face]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: LICK!

[after the ghost truck threatens Cassie]

Dean Winchester: You didn't see who was drivin' the truck?

Cassie Robinson: It seemed to be no one. Everything was moving so fast. And then it was just gone. Why didn't it kill us?

Dean Winchester: Whatever's controlling the truck wants you afraid first.

Sam Winchester: Mrs. Robinson. Cassie said that your husband saw the truck before he died.

Cassie Robinson: Mom?

Mrs. Robinson: [distracted] Hm? Oh, uh, Martin was under a lot of stress, he... I can't be sure about what he was seeing.

Dean Winchester: Well after tonight I think we can be reasonably sure that he was seein' a truck. What happened tonight, you and Cassie are marked. Okay? Now your daughter could die. So if you know something now would be a really good time to tell us about it.

Cassie Robinson: Dean...

Mrs. Robinson: Yes. Yes, he said he saw a truck.

Sam Winchester: Did he know who it belonged to?

Mrs. Robinson: He thought he did.

Dean Winchester: Who was that?

Mrs. Robinson: Cyrus. A man named Cyrus.

[while Clark is shaving, Mr. Mxyzptlk appears in his bathroom mirror]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Hi, guy!

[throws his head out of the mirror, which reforms into a new body]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Your three months are up! And this time you're not gonna cheat me out of my fun!

Clark Kent: Oh, it's YOU again, Mr Kltpzxym.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Not Kltpzxym, Mxyzptlk! Now, the first thing I'm gonna... ah, nuts!

[vanishes]

Sam Winchester: [on cell] Okay, the courthouse records show that Mr. and Mrs. Mayor bought an abandoned property. The previous owner was the Dorian family, for like a hundred and fifty years.

Dean Winchester: Dorian?

Sam Winchester: Yeah.

Dean Winchester: [to Cassie] Didn't you say the Dorian family used to own this paper?

Cassie Robinson: Along with most everything else around here. They were pillars of the town.

Dean Winchester: Right, right.

[looking through articles]

Dean Winchester: That's interesting.

Sam Winchester: What?

Dean Winchester: This Cyrus Dorian, he vanished in April of '63, the case was investigated but never solved. That's right around the time the string of murders was goin' on back then.

Sam Winchester: Well, I pulled a bunch of paper up on the Dorian place, it must 'a been in bad shape when the mayor bought it.

Dean Winchester: Why's that?

Sam Winchester: The first thing he did was bulldoze the place.

Dean Winchester: [to Cassie] Mayor Todd knocked down the Dorian place?

Cassie Robinson: [nodding] It was a big deal, one of the oldest local houses left. He made the front page.

Dean Winchester: [to Sam] You got a date?

Sam Winchester: Uh... The third of last month.

Dean Winchester: Mayor Todd bulldozed the Dorian family home on the third; the first killing was the very next day.

[last lines]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: [raging at a model of Superman] Oh, you... you... I'm not done with you! NOT BY A LONG SHOT! I'll find a loophole, somehow, someday!

Gsptlsnz: You know, now that you're stuck here, you'll just have to find another way to pass the time...

[kisses her husband]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Hey, this isn't so bad...

[kisses his wife back, but as he glances at the model, he changes it into a monkey]

[the Mayor has been killed]

Dean Winchester: So what happened?

Sam Winchester: Every bone crushed, internal organs turned to pudding, the cops are all stumped but it's almost like something ran him over.

Dean Winchester: Something like a truck?

Sam Winchester: Yup.

Dean Winchester: Tracks?

Sam Winchester: Nope.

Dean Winchester: What was the mayor doin' here anyway?

Sam Winchester: He owned the property, bought it a few weeks ago.

Dean Winchester: Yeah but he's white. It doesn't fit the pattern.

Sam Winchester: Killings didn't happen up on the road. Doesn't fit either.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: I skywrote my own name, BACKWARDS!

[his right leg fragments]

Superman: Twice.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: You were just toying with me! Even from the start!

[his left leg inflates and bursts]

Superman: Pretty much, yeah.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Never had you fooled for a second?

[his arms tear off and vanish]

Superman: Sorry.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: You are the superior being after all!

[his torso shrivels up]

Superman: Well...

Mr. Mxyzptlk: And now I'm gone... gone forever!

[his head deflates into his hat, which vanishes]

Superman: WHEW!

Sam Winchester: [about Cassie] Dean, what is goin' on between you two?

Dean Winchester: All right, so maybe we were a little bit more involved than I said.

Sam Winchester: Oh, okay.

Dean Winchester: Okay, a lot more. Maybe. And I told her the secret, about what we do, and I shouldn't have.

Sam Winchester: Ah look man, everybody's gotta open up to someone sometime.

Dean Winchester: Yeah I don't. It was stupid to get that close, I mean look how it ended.

[Sam smiles at him, amused]

Dean Winchester: Would you stop? Blink or somethin'!

Sam Winchester: You loved her.

Dean Winchester: [walking away] Aw God.

Sam Winchester: [following] You were in love with her... But you *dumped* her.

[pause, Dean looks uncomfortable]

Sam Winchester: Oh wow. She dumped *you*.

Dean Winchester: [irked] Get in the car.

Clark Kent: What's it going to take to get rid of you, for EVER?

Mr. Mxyzptlk: You always trick me into doing the same thing once, but this time you're going to have to make me do it TWICE, in a row! Which means I can say Kltpzyxm all I want, as long as I break it - KILL-PIX-YEEZ-SUM - up! HA! If you beat me, then I'm history! Gone! Finito! Bye-bye! But if I win, then I got me a new stable boy! Deal?

Clark Kent: Whatever you want. I quit.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Huh?... You don't mean it.

Superman: Oh, yes I do. Shut off the lights when you're done, will you?

Mr. Mxyzptlk: [pulling on Superman's cape] Hey! HEY! You can't just walk out! If you do, your friends will stay mindless beasts!

Superman: They don't seem to mind.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: [turns into a newspaper boy] You better come with me, Little Boy Blue! If you don't cooperate, I'll tell the world your secret!

Superman: Big deal. I'll find another disguise.

[flies away]

Mr. Mxyzptlk: [thinking, words form above his head] ¡*%#!

Dean Winchester: You know I was thinkin', you heard of the Flying Dutchman?

Sam Winchester: Yeah, a ghost ship infused with the captain's evil spirit, it was basically a part of him.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, so what if we're dealin' with the same thing? You know, a phantom truck, the extension of some bastard ghost, reenacting past crimes.

Sam Winchester: The victims have all been black men.

Dean Winchester: I think it's more than that, they all seem connected to Cassie and her family.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: I've only got ninety days until my next round with that caped clod! How does he do it?

[Dean and Sam ask about the ghost truck]

Black Fisherman: Son this, this truck. Big scary monster-lookin' thing?

Dean Winchester: Yeah actually, I think so.

Black Fisherman: Hm.

Dean Winchester: What?

Black Fisherman: I have heard of a truck like that.

Sam Winchester: You have? Where?

Black Fisherman: Not where. When. Back in the sixties there was a string of deaths. Black men. Story goes, they disappeared in a big nasty black truck.

Dean Winchester: They ever catch the guy who did it?

Black Fisherman: Never found him. Hell, not sure they even really looked. See, there was a time, this town wasn't too friendly to all its citizens.

Clark Kent: Who are you?

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Like Mummy said, I'm a superior being from the fifth dimension!

Mayor Harold Todd: What is it, exactly, you want me to do?

Cassie Robinson: Well how about closing this section of road, for starters?

Mayor Harold Todd: Close the main road, the only road in and out of town? Accidents do happen Cassie. That's what they are: accidents!

[Dean and Sam walk up]

Dean Winchester: Did the cops check for additional denting on Jimmy's car, see if it was pushed?

Mayor Harold Todd: Who's this?

Cassie Robinson: Dean and Sam Winchester, family friends. This is Mayor Harold Todd.

Mayor Harold Todd: It's one set of tire tracks. One. Doesn't point to foul play.

Cassie Robinson: Mayor, the police and town officials take their cues from you! If you're indifferent about...

Mayor Harold Todd: [offended] Indifferent!

Cassie Robinson: Would you close the road if the victims were white?

Mayor Harold Todd: You're suggesting I'm racist, Cassie. I'm the last person you should talk to like that.

Cassie Robinson: And why's that?

Mayor Harold Todd: Why don't you ask your mother.

Superman: It's been going on all week. Impossible things keep happening and I'm the only one who sees them. Am I going crazy?

Jonathan Kent: Now, Clark, I'm sure it's not that bad.

Superman: I can't keep being Superman if I keep wigging out like this.

Jonathan Kent: Now, son, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this.

Martha Kent: Yes, it's obvious that a brilliant, god-like lifeform from a dimension twice removed for ours is testing your powers.

Superman: [suddenly skeptical] And what makes you say that?

Jonathan Kent: [chuckles] Oh, that's not important, son. What *is* important is following through with a nice, firm peck when scracthing up corn.

Sam Winchester: So burning the body had no effect on that thing?

Dean Winchester: Oh sure it did, now it's *really* pissed!

Superman: What do you want with me?

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Wars! You see, for centuries now, I've been pitting my interdimensional magic against schmaltzes who thought they could go 15 rounds with the old master! You know the stories about genies and imps and whatnot...

[Mr Mxyzptlk levitates a cat, which Clark flies up and catches]

Superman: You.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: ...it was me! After a while, I became bored with the basic rank-and-file human dolts. But then YOU showed up, SUPERMAN! You, my friend, are the ultimate challenge! We're going to have very merry games, you and I!

[starts flying around in circles]

Superman: A game has rules! Your stunts are just random idiocy!

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Okay, I'll give you a rule! You make me say, spell or otherwise reveal my name backwards and I'll split, until our dimensions come into alignment again in... oh, three months, give or take.

Superman: I can't even say your name forwards - how am I supposed to say it BACKwards?

Mr. Mxyzptlk: No, dolt, YOU don't have to say it backwards, you have to get ME to say it!

Superman: Say what?

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Kltpzyxm! Gosh, you're thick! Now, for the last time... ah, nuts!

[vanishes]

Sam Winchester: Where are you?

Dean Winchester: In the middle of nowhere, with a killer truck on my ass!

Lois Lane: [being reunited with a chimp that she knew as a child] Titano, remember me? Lo-Loo?

Clark Kent: 'Lo-Loo'?

Lois Lane: I was eight, okay?

Cassie Robinson: [bringing in coffee on a tray] My mother's in pretty bad shape. I've been staying with her. I wish she wouldn't go off by herself, she's been so nervous and frightened. She was worried about Dad.

Dean Winchester: Why?

Cassie Robinson: He was scared, he was seeing things.

Dean Winchester: Like what?

Cassie Robinson: He swore he saw... an awful-looking black truck following him.

Sam Winchester: A truck. Who was the driver?

Cassie Robinson: He didn't talk about a driver. Just the truck. He said it would appear and disappear. And in the accident, Dad's truck was dented, like it'd been slammed into by something big.

[she hands them coffee]

Sam Winchester: Thanks. Now, you're sure this dent wasn't there before?

Cassie Robinson: He sold cars. Always drove a new one. There wasn't a scratch on that thing. It had rained hard that night, there was mud everywhere. There was a distinct set of muddy tracks from Dad's car, leading right to the edge, where he went over. One set of tracks. His!

Dean Winchester: And the first person killed was a friend of your father's?

Cassie Robinson: Best friend. Clayton Soames. They owned the car dealership together. Same thing. Dent, no tracks. And the cops said exactly what they said about Dad. He lost control of his car.

Dean Winchester: Now, can you think of any reason why your father and his partner might be targets?

Cassie Robinson: No.

Sam Winchester: And you think this vanishing truck ran him off the road?

Cassie Robinson: [embarrassed] Oh, when you say it aloud like that. Look, I'm a little skeptical about this... ghost stuff, or whatever you guys are into.

Dean Winchester: Huh. Skeptical. If I remember, I think you said I was nuts.

Livewire: [as Leslie Willis] What's the deal with you and Superman, huh?

Lois Lane: What are you talking about?

Livewire: Come on, you're always getting exclusives with him. Just how "exclusive" are you two?

Superman: [as Clark]

[clears his throat uncomfortably]

Lois Lane: It's not like that.

Livewire: Oh, it's not, huh? Ah, I guess we'll never know if his pj's have that big red S on them too.

Dean Winchester: Don't leave the house.

Cassie Robinson: Don't go getting all authoritative on me, I hate it.

Dean Winchester: Don't leave the house, please?

[Superman tackles her through a wall]

Livewire: Well, at least now we know you hit girls!

Sam Winchester: You mean you dated someone? For more than one night?

Dean Winchester: Am I speaking a language you're not getting here?

Livewire: [as Leslie Willis] What's the deal with you and Superman, huh?

Lois Lane: What are you talking about?

Livewire: Come on, you're always getting exclusives with him. Just how exclusive are you two?

Superman: [as Clark]

[Clears his throat nervously]

Lois Lane: It's not like that.

Livewire: Oh it's not, huh? Ah, I guess we'll never know if his pj's have that big red S on them too.

Sam Winchester: Which by the way, how does she know what we do?

[no response from Dean]

Sam Winchester: You told her. You told her the secret of our big family rule number one; we do what we do and we shut up about it! For a year and a half, I do nothing but lie to Jessica and you go out with this chick from Ohio a couple of times and you tell her everything! Dean!

Dean Winchester: Yeah. Looks like.

[after Supergirl thrashes Stompa and Mad Harriet]

Lashina: Okay, sugar, the main event.

Sam Winchester: By 'old friend' you mean...?

Dean Winchester: Friend that's not new.

Sam Winchester: Yeah, thanks. So her name's Cassie, huh? You never mentioned her.

Dean Winchester: Didn't I?

Sam Winchester: No.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, we went out.

Sam Winchester: You mean you dated someone. For more than one night.

Dean Winchester: Am I speakin' a language you're not gettin' here?

[as the comet fragment heads toward Metropolis]

Kara: Well, girl, you always wanted to save the world...

[hurtles toward it]

[on the phone]

Dean Winchester: Maybe? Maybe! What if you were wrong?

Sam Winchester: Huh. Honestly, that thought hadn't occurred to me.

Dean Winchester: [hangs up] It honestly didn't occur to me!

[pause]

Dean Winchester: I'm gonna kill him!

[after Superman is forced to kneel before him]

Darkseid: Ever proud, eh, Kryptonian? I must say, I find it... wearying.

Senator Robert Kinsey: Do you know how much this program costs?

Jack O'Neill: Seven-ish?

Senator Robert Kinsey: Seven billion four hundred and seven million dollars.

Jack O'Neill: Give or take.

Inspector Steve Keller: [When Stone stops to buy a newspaper] Checking the box scores?

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: Yeah. If Chris knows anything about this Anthony kid, that'll make it a shutout, won't it?

Inspector Steve Keller: Yeah, old ink fingers, three; fuzz, zip.

Jay Felger: I have Coombs with me.

Simon Coombs: Hi.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: [Furious] Why, look everybody! He's got Coombs with him!

Vala Mal Doran: This suit still absorbs zat blasts.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm covering your head.

Vala Mal Doran: Still, you should probably make me take it off.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: I think I'll turn the ship around first.

Vala Mal Doran: I don't know. If I had me at gunpoint, that wouldn't be my first choice.

Josef Schmidt: [Choking a woman to death after she makes fun of his poses] STOP THAT! I'M NOT UGLY! I'M BEAUTIFUL! THIS IS WHAT THE BODY'S SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE!

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Now, I know this is hard for you guys to believe, but I swear to you the entire time you thought I had disappeared on P3R-233, I was experiencing an alternate reality.

Jack O'Neill: And you were there, and you were there, and there's no place like home.