Author Unknown quotes, page 14

[Matt brings them to a clearing in the woods; insects are heard all around]

Matt Pike: I've been keeping track of insect populations, it's um, part of an AP science class.

Dean Winchester: You two are like peas in a pod.

Sam Winchester: What's been happening?

Matt Pike: Well, a lot. I mean, from bees to earthworms, uh, beetles, you name it, it's like they're congregating here.

Dean Winchester: Why?

Matt Pike: I don't know.

[Sam notices a dark mound of earth at the other edge of the clearing]

Sam Winchester: What's that?

[they walk over to it; Dean taps it with a foot, a chunk collapses into a hole; Dean pokes around in it with a stick, hitting something hard]

Dean Winchester: There's something down there.

[he reaches in, trying to dislodge it]

Dean Winchester: Come on, come on...

[he unearths a human skull]

Zack Martin: Arwin, why are you wearing a welding mask?

Arwin: It gives me an air of mystery.

[He puts the mask over his face]

Arwin: [In a Darth Vader voice] The force is strong with this one.

Maddie: Hey, Esteban! Cute baby.

Esteban: Thanks.

Maddie: Where are the little kids! I put you in charge!

Esteban: But Mr. Moseby put me in charge of everything else. Don't worry. Zack and Cody have everything under control.

Zack Martin: [Randall rides the luggage cart while Zack chases after him] Get back here, young man!

Randall: Not gonna happen, old man!

Randall: [rides past Maddie] I'll be back for you, my love!

Carey: Can you believe him? He actually criticized my driving, while HE was driving!

Sam Winchester: [about Lynda Bloome being killed by spiders] You tried to scare her with a spider.

Matt Pike: Wait, you think I had something to do with that?

Dean Winchester: You tell us.

Matt Pike: That tarantula was a *joke*. Anyway, that wouldn't explain the bee attack, or the gas company guy.

Sam Winchester: You know about those?

Matt Pike: There *is* somethin' goin' on here. I dunno what, but... something's happening with the insects. Lemme show you somethin'.

[they start walking through the woods]

Sam Winchester: So if you knew about all this bug stuff, why not tell your Dad? Maybe he could clear everybody out.

Matt Pike: Believe me I've tried, but uh, "Larry" doesn't listen to me.

Sam Winchester: Why not?

Matt Pike: Mostly? He's too disappointed in his freak son.

London: Maddie, what are these little doo-hickies and are they expensive and do I want to buy them?

Maddie: They're chess pieces. It's a game that's been played for over five thousand years.

London: Well, someone should have won already.

Zack Martin: I'm sure you'll do fine.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm sure you'll do fine! What do you know?

Esteban: I can't leave little people with little-er people!

Zack Martin: This is great! This is our chance to get on TV!

Cody Martin: Yeah, I always thought you'd be on TV. I just assumed you'd be in handcuffs.

Zack Martin: You mean, as a magician?

Cody Martin: [sarcastically] Yeah, that's it.

Sue Ann Grange: Layla.

Layla Rourke: Yes. I'm here again.

Sue Ann Grange: Oh, I'm sorry, but Roy's resting, he won't be seeing anyone else right now, honey.

Mrs. Rourke: Sue Ann, please! This is our sixth time, he's got to see us!

Sue Ann Grange: Roy's well aware of Layla's situation, and he very much wants to help just as soon as the Lord allows. Have faith, Mrs. Rourke.

[she goes back inside, Mrs. Rourke turns on Dean]

Mrs. Rourke: [angry] Why are you still even here? You got what you wanted!

Layla Rourke: Mom, stop.

Mrs. Rourke: No Layla, this is too much! We've been to every single service. If Roy would stop choosing these strangers over you... Strangers who don't even believe! I just can't pray any harder.

Dean Winchester: Layla what's wrong?

Layla Rourke: I have this thing...

Mrs. Rourke: It's a brain tumor. It's inoperable. In six months, the doctors say...

Dean Winchester: I'm sorry.

Layla Rourke: It's okay.

Mrs. Rourke: No. It isn't.

[to Dean]

Mrs. Rourke: Why do you deserve to live more than my daughter?

Larry Pike: So you two are interested in Oasis Plains.

Dean Winchester: Yes sir!

Larry Pike: Let me just say, we accept homeowners of any race, religion, color, or... sexual orientation.

[Sam chuckles]

Dean Winchester: [quickly] We're brothers.

Sam Winchester: Our father is getting on in years, and we're just lookin' for a place for him.

Larry Pike: Great! Great, well, seniors are welcome too. Come on in.

Zack Martin: Test?! How could there be a test? Didn't we just get our report cards? Isn't there some down time before we have to start learning again? Ugh! Why do you keep shoving knowledge down our throats?

Cody Martin: It's school?

Zack Martin: Yeah, and I don't wanna have to spend my summer here eating vegetables and having you tell me what was on TV last night. There's gotta be a way out!

Cody Martin: Yeah. Study.

Zack Martin: Look, you're not gonna take this seriously.

Cody Martin: Zack, don't just stand there! Do something!

Emily: [to Zack] You're not my mommy! I want my mommy!

Zack Martin: Cody, I think she wants you.

Cody Martin: Mr. Moseby! Mr. Moseby! It's a hideous monster, and it's coming this way!

Mr. Moseby: Boys, I can assure you there are no such things as monsters.

Zack Martin: Oh, yeah? Look!

Ilsa: [enters lobby] I'm back.

[Zach, Cody, Mr. Moseby and Carey scream]

Carey: Quick, get behind me, boys and don't look her in the mol... the eye!

[Mr. Moseby tries to hide, but ends up facing Ilsa]

Ilsa: Mr. Moseby.

Mr. Moseby: Ms. Schiklegoobermeyger.

Ilsa: Actually, since you had me fired from the Tipton organization, I've gotten married.

Carey: You're kidding.

Ilsa: No. My married name is Ilsa Schiklegoobermeyger-Vanhelsingdekeppeloogerhoffer.

Carey: You're kidding.

Pool attendant: I'm telling you, he seemed healthy. Swam every day, didn't smoke, you know, so a heart attack just kinda seemed, you know, bizarre.

Sam Winchester: And you said he was running, right before he collapsed?

Pool attendant: Yeah, he was freakin' out. Said that somethin' was uh, was after him.

Sam Winchester: Did he say what?

Pool attendant: Well, thin air is what. I mean, it wasn't anything.

Sam Winchester: Right. Thanks.

[Sam starts up the stairs, notices a stopped clock]

Sam Winchester: Hey buddy? Your uh, your clock's busted.

Pool attendant: Oh yeah, we uh, we can't get it workin'. Just froze at 4: 17.

Sam Winchester: Is that the same time Marshall died?

Pool attendant: How'd you know?

Dean Winchester: The shower's awesome!

London Tipton: The ghost stole my money! She is so DEAD!

Zack Martin: Did I ever tell you how pretty you looked when you're angry?

Maddie: Well I must look gorgeous right now because I'm furious!

Herman Spatz: [after Mr.Moesby preforms spectacularly] Please, tell me we got that on film!

Assistant #2: I WOULD but I'd be lying! We wasted all the film on the air-head heiress!

Dean Winchester: Can I ask you one last question?

Rev. Roy Le Grange: 'Course you can.

Dean Winchester: Why? Why me? Out of all those sick people why save me?

Rev. Roy Le Grange: Well like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart and you just... stood out from all the rest.

Dean Winchester: What did you see in my heart?

Rev. Roy Le Grange: A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn't finished.

[Sam and Dean are posing as potential homeowners]

Lynda Bloome: Well, let me just say that we accept homeowners of any race, religion, color or...

[looks at Sam and Dean]

Lynda Bloome: sexual orientation.

Dean Winchester: Hmm, right.

[to Sam]

Dean Winchester: I'm gonna go talk to Larry. Okay, honey?

[slaps Sam on the ass]

Zack Martin: You dyslexic people seem to have it so easy...

Bob: Easy? Yeah, the jumbled letters, the humility, the inability to shoot a free throw...

Mr. Forgess: Bob, dyslexia has nothing to do with your basketball performance.

Bob: Yeah, I know, but I was on a roll.

Trevor: So, what's your favorite piece of art that you haven't sat on?

London: I would have to say...

Maddie: [walks pass them] The Jackson Pollack. He's such a master.

London: I would have to say the Jackson Paulig, he such a-perportrator heading south McLellan Highway please proceed with caution.

[London stares blankly]

Maddie: [to London from the chip and behind the wall] Sorry London. Sometimes this thing picks up police frequencies.

[continues to stare blankly at Trevor]

Randall: I bet I have more armpit hair than you!

Cody Martin: Everybody has more armpit hair than Zack.

Zack Martin: They're blonde, and hard to see!

Randall: Yeah, all two of 'em!

Mr. Moseby: [Teaching London how to drive] Okay, lets start with the gearshift.

London: You mean the PRNDL?

Rev. Roy Le Grange: It is the Lord who does the healin' here, friends. The Lord, who guides me in choosin' who to heal, by helpin' me see into people's hearts.

Dean Winchester: [under his breath] Yeah, or into their wallets.

Rev. Roy Le Grange: You think so, young man?

[uncomfortable silence]

Dean Winchester: Sorry.

Rev. Roy Le Grange: No no, don't be. Just watch what you say around a blind man, we got real sharp ears. What's your name, son?

Dean Winchester: [clears his throat] Dean.

Rev. Roy Le Grange: [nodding thoughtfully] Dean. I want... I want you to come up here with me.

Dean Winchester: No. Nah, it's okay.

Sam Winchester: What're you doing?

Rev. Roy Le Grange: You've come here to be healed, haven't you?

Dean Winchester: Well yeah, but uh, maybe you should just pick someone else.

Dean Winchester: Oh no, I didn't, I didn't pick you Dean, the Lord did.

Sam Winchester: Get up there!

[Dean reluctantly stands and goes to the stage, the crowd applauds]

Rev. Roy Le Grange: You ready?

Dean Winchester: Yeah look, no disrespect, but uh, I'm not exactly a believer.

Rev. Roy Le Grange: You will be son. You will be. Pray with me, friends.

[the crowd falls silent, praying; the reverend lays his hand on Dean]

Rev. Roy Le Grange: All right now. All right now...

[Dean sinks to his knees and faints]

Sam Winchester: [running up] Dean!

[Dean jerks awake]

Sam Winchester: Say somethin'!

[Dean sees a gray old man in a suit appear, then turn and vanish]

Sam Winchester: [about Larry with his son] Remind you of somebody?

[Dean looks at them, confused]

Sam Winchester: Dad?

Dean Winchester: [surprised] Dad never treated us like that.

Sam Winchester: [laughs] Well Dad never treated YOU like that, you were perfect. He was all over my case.

[Dean thinks about it, shakes his head]

Sam Winchester: You don't remember.

Dean Winchester: Well, maybe he had to raise his voice, but sometimes you were out of line!

Sam Winchester: [sarcastic] Right, right, like when I said I'd rather play soccer than learn bow-hunting.

Dean Winchester: Bow-hunting's an important skill!

Zack Martin: A: I don't know what you are talking about... And B: Oh yes it will!

Emily: I want my dolly!

Esteban: Okay, okay. Is this your dolly?

Emily: No.

Esteban: Is this your dolly?

Emily: No.

Esteban: Is THIS your dolly? Please say yes.

Emily: Um... no!

Esteban: Okay, were was the last time you saw your dolly?

Emily: At the park... last summer.

London: Todd!

Todd St. Mark: London!

Ilsa: Todd!

Mr. Moseby: London!

Maddie: Maddie!

Dean Winchester: Come on Sam, a faith healer?

Sam Winchester: Maybe it's time to have a little faith, Dean.

Dean Winchester: You know what I got faith in? Reality. Knowin' what's really goin' on.

Sam Winchester: How can you be a skeptic? With the things we see every day?

Dean Winchester: Exactly, we see them! We know they're real!

Sam Winchester: But if you know evil's out there, how can you not believe good's out there too?

Dean Winchester: Because I've seen what evil does to good people!

[after Sam checks out the sinkhole where Dustin Burwash died]

Dean Winchester: [sarcastic] So you found some beetles, in a hole, in the ground. That's shocking, Sam!

Sam Winchester: There were no tunnels, no tracks, no evidence of any other kind of creature down there. You know, some beetles do eat meat. Now it's usually *dead* meat, but...

Dean Winchester: How many did you find down there?

Sam Winchester: Ten.

Dean Winchester: It'd take a whole lot more than that to eat out some dude's brain.

Sam Winchester: Well maybe there were more!

Esteban: Have you heard about Mr. Moseby?

Muriel: *No!*

Esteban: Ci!

London: Moseby, I'm not going to let you stop. Like you didn't let me stop when you were teaching me the Alphabet.

Mr. Moseby: But that took 14 years!

London: And now I know my ABD's.

Herman Spatz: Why on EARTH should I put you in my commercial?

London: Because my daddy owns this hotel, and signs your checks.

Herman Spatz: Brilliant! YOU are hired!

[as Dean fishes tasers out of the trunk]

Sam Winchester: What do you got those amped up to?

Dean Winchester: 100,000 volts.

Sam Winchester: Damn.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, I want this Rawhead extra freakin' crispy. Now remember you only get one shot with these things, so make it count.

Dean Winchester: Growing up in a place like this would freak me out.

Sam Winchester: Why?

Dean Winchester: The manicured lawns. 'How was your day, Honey'. I'd blow my brains out!

Sam Winchester: There's nothing wrong with normal.

Dean Winchester: I'd take our family over normal any day.

Cody Martin: [referring to Zack] Everone has more armpit hair than him

Zack Martin: They're blonde and hard to see!

Randall: Yeah, all two of them!

[he and Cody laugh]

London: I am going to sing and dance at the same time.

Herman Spatz: And i'll try to watch and hold my lunch down at the Same time.

Dean Winchester: Hey, um, you know I'm not much of a praying type but I'm gonna pray for you.

Layla Rourke: Well, there's a miracle right there.

Matt Pike: Sorry, I told the truth.

Dean Winchester: We had a plan, Matt. What happened to the plan?

Zack Martin: [to Cody About Arwin] This is a disaster! All he can talk about is plumbing!

Johnny: Do you like coloring?

Cody Martin: I sure do, little one! In the first grade, I won a free ice cream sundae for my work on the "Enchanted Pony Island Coloring Book"!

Johnny: You're weird.

Zack Martin: He's got you pegged.

[boy kicks Cody's shin]

Cody Martin: Ow! Little boy, don't you know it's not nice to kick people in the shin?

[boy steps on his foot]

Cody Martin: Ow! Look, Kid, I know Santa, and someone just made the Naughty List!

Johnny: I'm Jewish.

Esteban: Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez.

Religious woman: Reverend LeGrange is a great man.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, that's nice.

Sam Winchester: We're gonna squat in an empty house?

Dean Winchester: I wanna try the steam shower.

Arwin: Now, I have something scarier to deal with. The toilet in 620.

[Maddie, London, Zack, and Cody all gasp ans Arwin puts the mask back on and bumps into the elevator]

Arwin: Comin' mother!

Zack Martin: You'll be surprised to see how this father to be has corralled these young suckers.

[they turn the corner to see Cody bound and gagged]

Maddie: [taking the gag off Cody] How could you let this happen?

Cody Martin: Well, the blonde one tripped me and the rest is a blur.

London: Come and stay at the...

Mr. Moseby: It's your name!

London: Oh! Come and stay at the London!

Mr. Moseby: Your last name!

Sam Winchester: [shaky] Hey, Dad. It's Sam. Uh, you probably won't even get this, but, uh, it's Dean. He's sick, and uh... the doctors say there's nothing they can do. Um. But, uh, they don't know the things we know, right? Um. So, don't worry, cause, uh, I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get him better. All right. Just wanted you to know.

Dean Winchester: All right, well, looks like you're gonna leave town without me.

Sam Winchester: What are you talkin' about, I'm not gonna leave you here.

Dean Winchester: Hey. You better take care of that car. Or I swear I'll haunt your ass.

Sam Winchester: I don't think that's funny.

Dean Winchester: Ah c'mon, it's a little funny.

[pause]

Dean Winchester: Look Sammy, what can I say man, it's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story.

Sam Winchester: Don't talk like that, all right? We still have options.

Dean Winchester: What options? You got burial or cremation. I know it's not easy, but I'm gonna die. And you can't stop it.

Sam Winchester: Watch me.

Dean Winchester: We got a new gig, or what?

Sam Winchester: Maybe. Oasis Plains, Oklahoma. Not far from here. Gas company employee. Dustin Burwash, supposedly died from Creutzfeldt-Jakob.

Dean Winchester: Huh?

Sam Winchester: Human mad cow disease.

Dean Winchester: Mad cow. Wasn't that on Oprah?

Sam Winchester: [giving him a look] You watch Oprah?

Cody Martin: [sees the man for the Weekend Washington is here; hurries to Zack and pulls him away from Maddie.] Zack! The guy from the Weekend Washington is here! He's here to interview me and I can't be me because I don't look like me, I'm supposed to look like you since you look like me you've gotta be me!

Zack Martin: I can't help you.

Cody Martin: Why?

Zack Martin: 'Cause I have no idea what you've just said.

Esteban: Rock a bye chicken in the tree top. Watch out for the farmer. Your head he will chop.

London: [sings really badly] Cause bling is my favorite thing

London: [crosses hands to form an "X"] But not talking zirconium

Sam Winchester: So a bunch of skeletons in an unmarked grave...

Dean Winchester: Yeah. Maybe this is a haunting. Pissed-off spirits with some unfinished business?

Sam Winchester: Yeah maybe. The question is, why bugs? And why now?

Dean Winchester: Uh, that's two questions...

[Maddie tries to help the boys distract Serge, the concierge]

Maddie: [over the phone, with a funny accent] Hello? This is Princess Bappalappashamalamadingdong. Where is my llama milk?

Serge: Your husband said you wanted goat milk.

Maddie: My husband, Prince Bappalappashamalamadingdong is a ding-dong!

London: Oh, I know all about geniuses! It's where you rub the lamp and get 3 wishes.

Maddie: [pause] I've met bread smarter than you.

Cody Martin: [grabbing the other walkie-talkie] We are dealing with an evil genius.

Maddie: Hmm, what's this?

[picks up a rose with a card attached]

Maddie: "To Maddie, you make me wish I was a better person. Love, Randall."

[pauses]

Maddie: Aww, that is so sweet.

Zack Martin: I can't believe I'm losing you to a younger man!

Warren: I got the blonde.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: You'll get nothing and like it.

Warren: Sassy.

Sam Winchester: But you said you saw a dude in a suit.

Dean Winchester: Oh, what? You thought he should have been working the whole black robe thing?

Dean Winchester: So what are you saying, that Dad was disappointed in you?

Sam Winchester: Was? Is. Always has been.

Dean Winchester: Why would you think that?

Sam Winchester: Because, I didn't want to bow-hunt. Or hustle pool. Because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which in *our* whacked-out family made *me* the freak.

Dean Winchester: Yeah you were kinda like the blonde chick in The Munsters!

Maddie: Can you believe that all these girls are screaming for Jesse McCartney? So lame.

London: Seriously. They all *think* they have a shot with Jesse, when really, he and I are meant to be.

[lovingly gazes at cover of 'Seventeen' magazine with Jesse's picture on it]

Jesse McCartney: Excuse me, do you know where the manager's office is?

London: Mmm, over there.

Jesse McCartney: Thanks.

[walks away]

Maddie: Wasn't that Jesse McCartney?

London: Hm?

[turns around, gasps, turns back around, and faints]

Jeremy: I knew we should go to Australia, it has a lot of poisonous animals

Bob: For the last time, this is just a game, we don't actually have to go to Australia!

Kurt: Look, I know you're mad.

Carey: Oh, I'm not mad. I was mad when you sold our to buy a new guitar. I was mad when you brought home the wrong twins from the school playground.

Kurt: It was an honest mistake.

Carey: They were girls!

Carey: Esteban, have you seen Zack?

Esteban: Zack? Zack who?

Carey: Esteban, do you like nature films?

Esteban: Oh, I love nature films.

Carey: Did you ever seen the one in how the mother bear cares for her cubs?

Esteban: London's driving him and Maddie to math camp. Please don't eat me!

Carey: Moseby, Zack's gone to math camp.

Mr. Moseby: Good. Now they're both gone. It's like falling in love twice.

Carey: But it's worse than that. London's driving.

Mr. Moseby: Oh, no!

Carey: Oh, yes!

Mr. Moseby: We'll find the only car on the highway going in reverse.

[Sam has summoned Bloody Mary into the mirror; Mary speaks through his reflection as his eyes bleed]

Sam Winchester: You never told her the truth. Who you really were. But it's more than that, isn't it? Those nightmares you've been having? Of Jessica dying? Screaming, burning? You had them for days before she died. Didn't you? You were so desperate to be normal. To believe they were just dreams. How could you ignore them like that? How could you leave her alone to die? You dreamt it would happen!

[Dean smashes the mirror]

Jesse McCartney: Excuse me.

[points to where Maddie and London are standing, disguised as waiters]

London: [squeals] He's pointing at me! I think he wants to propose.

[rolls up sleeves]

Maddie: He's pointing at the water, dingbat, he thinks you're a waiter.

London: Why would he think that?

Maddie: [looks over at London]

London: Right.

London: Oh! I know what genealogy is, it's when you rub a lamp and get three wishes.

Maddie: I've met bread smarter then you.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Ok, what's first?

London Tipton: Ok, first off, that outfit, horrible.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Two.

London Tipton: Your hair...

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Three!

London Tipton: Ok, show me how many push-ups you can do.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Ok.

[struggles to get up]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Grrrrrr.

London Tipton: Ok. That was the push. Later we'll work on the up.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Can we go back to my hair?

London Tipton: Yes. It's as weak and brittle as you.

Herman Spatz: [to Cody] Who and what are you?

Dean Winchester: Man, you're a lying bastard! Thought you said we were going to see a doctor.

Sam Winchester: I believe I said a specialist. Look Dean, this guy's supposed to be the real deal.

Dean Winchester: I can't believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent!

Sam Winchester: [on the phone] Oh really? Ah, that's too bad, Mr. Worthington, I would have paid a lot for that mirror. Okay, well maybe next time. All right, thanks.

[hangs up]

Dean Winchester: So?

Sam Winchester: So, that was Mary's brother. The mirror was in the family for years, until he sold it. One weeks ago. To a store called Estate Antiques. A store in Toledo.

Dean Winchester: So wherever the mirror goes, that's where Mary goes?

Sam Winchester: Her spirit's definitely tied up with it somehow.

Dean Winchester: Isn't there an old superstition that says mirrors can capture spirits?

Sam Winchester: Yeah there is, yeah, when someone would die in a house, people would cover up the mirrors so the ghosts wouldn't get trapped.

Dean Winchester: So Mary dies in front of a mirror and it draws in her spirit.

Sam Winchester: Yeah, but how could she move through like a hundred different mirrors?

Dean Winchester: I dunno, but if the mirror's the source I say we find it and smash it.

Zack Martin: I would have to say President Carter... he, uh, nails things, uh, builds things, builds houses for uh, nuns, uh, cold people, poor people! Builds houses for poor people! Because I believe people should have a place to sleep and play video games.

London: Maddie's been coaching me through this... computer chocolate chip.

Trevor: Why would you need coaching?... wait a minute, did she just say computer chocolate chip?

Maddie: [Nods] 'Nuff said.

Carey: Look, tell me he's okay and he doesn't have any tattoos.

Kurt: He's okay. And it says "Mom."

[Kurt and Zack chuckle]

Kurt: Oh, come on. Have a sense of humor.

Carey: I married you, didn't I?

Kurt: Oh, yeah. There it is.

[after being forbidden from seeing Todd]

Mr. Moseby: Hey, you really like this boy, don't you?

London: I would love him even if he were poor.

Mr. Moseby: Really?

London: [pauses to think about her answer] Yes.

Sam Winchester: The way Mary's choosing her victims, it seems like there's a pattern.

Dean Winchester: I know, I was thinkin' the same thing.

Sam Winchester: With Mr. Shoemaker, and Jill's hit-and-run...

Dean Winchester: Both had secrets where people died.

Sam Winchester: Right. I mean there's a lot of folklore about mirrors, that they reveal all your lies, all your secrets, that they're a true reflection of your soul which is why it's bad luck to break 'em.

Dean Winchester: Right, right. Yeah, so maybe if you've got a secret, I mean like a really nasty one where someone died, Mary sees it... and punishes you for it.

Sam Winchester: Whether you're the one that summoned her or not.

Zack Martin: Way to go, Little Red Riding Nerd.

Cody Martin: At least when I go away it won't be in handcuffs.

Maddie: Your favorite composer is Bach.

London: Where's he been?

Maddie: He's dead.

London: So he came 'Bach' from the dead?

Mr. Moseby: Now, are you familiar with the gear shift?

London: You mean... the prindle?

Mr. Moseby: The what?

London: The PRINDLE!

Mr. Moseby: Are you referring to the shift lever that says P-R-N-D-L?

London: I'm not a child, Moseby, I know how to spell prindle.

Mr. Moseby: It is not something you spell. It is a gear shift. The letters stand for: PARK, REVERSE, NEUTRAL, DRIVE and LOW!

London: You're making me nervous with all this... technical talk!

Mr. Moseby: Oh! I'm sorry. Why don't we just *relax* and turn on the *radio*? Would you like AHM OR FIM?

Carey: Time to do your homework.

Cody Martin: I already did mine.

Zack Martin: You disgust me.

Sam Winchester: You know this whole' I laugh in the face of death' thing? It's crap. I can see right through it.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, whatever dude.

[Jill has been killed by Bloody Mary]

Charlie: [sobbing] ... And they found her on the bathroom floor, and h-h-her, her *eyes*... they were g-gone.

Sam Winchester: I'm sorry.

Charlie: And she said it! I heard her say it! But it couldn't be because of that. I'm insane, right?

Dean Winchester: No, you're not insane.

Charlie: [softly] Oh God, that makes me feel so much worse.

Sam Winchester: Look, we think something's happening here. Something that can't be explained.

Dean Winchester: And we're gonna stop it.

Maddie: Well, you gossiped about me and it spread through the whole hotel!

London: Well, you gossiped about me and it spread through the whole world!

Maddie: Well, you started it!

London: Nuh-uh.

Maddie: Uh-huh.

London: Oh, don't you uh-huh my nuh-uh!

Trevor: So, what's your favorite class?

London: Upper.

Trevor: That's a great one... if you can get into it.

Agnes: You know, I've never had two guys fight over me before. Agnes likes!

Esteban: Welcome to the Tipton!

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Where everything is sweet!

Patrick: Try joining us for dinner, may we offer you a seat?

Mr. Moseby: [singing] Next time stay at the Tipton/The Tipton puts you on top/When you stay at the Tipton/The good times, they never stop

Esteban, Maddie Fitzpatrick, Patrick, Carey Martin, Arwin, Mr. Moseby: [singing] Because you're the star when you travel far/The food is always gourmet/At the Tipton, at the Tipton/At the Tipton, it's your place to stay!

Mr. Moseby: Check in!

Dean Winchester: [about Shoemaker's death] Were there ever any symptoms? Dizziness, migraines?

Donna Shoemaker: No.

Lily Shoemaker: [turning to Donna] That's because it wasn't a stroke!

Donna Shoemaker: Lily, don't say that.

Sam Winchester: What?

Donna Shoemaker: I'm sorry, she's just upset.

Lily Shoemaker: No, it happened because of me!

Donna Shoemaker: Sweetie, it didn't.

Sam Winchester: Lily, why would you say something like that?

Lily Shoemaker: Right before he died, I said it!

Sam Winchester: You said what?

Lily Shoemaker: Bloody Mary, three times in the bathroom mirror.

[pause]

Lily Shoemaker: She took his eyes, that's what she does!

Donna Shoemaker: That's not why Dad died, this isn't your fault!

Dean Winchester: I think your sister's right, Lily. There's no way it could've been Bloody Mary. I mean, your Dad didn't say it, did he?

Lily Shoemaker: No, I don't think so.

Cody Martin: [see's mariuel sitting on the couch watching TV and eating] Have you ever actully seen her clean anything?

Zack Martin: Yeah the food out of out fridge.

Trevor: Uh, you know your sitting on a master piece?

London: I knew these pants made me look good.

Cody Martin: Our children will be Agnes Jr and Cody Jr. Our dog's name is Agnody.

[Pulls Agnes to him]

Cody Martin: Right, honey bear?

Zack Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] She's not your honey bear, she's my sugar muffin!

Cody Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] Tell him you're mine, cutie-patootie!

Zack Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] No one tells my rosie posie what to do!

Agnes: That popping noise you hear? Yeah, that was my shoulder.

Cody Martin: Oh, I'm sorry. Let me rub that for you, sweetie tweetie.

Zack Martin: [Pulls Agnes to him] No one touches my lovey bunny but me!

Cody Martin: Oh, yeah?

Cody Martin: Yeah!

Mr. Moseby: [to Ilsa] I thought I smelled a rat, but it turned out to be a mole.

Dean Winchester: I know it's not easy but I'm gonna die and you can't stop it.

Sam Winchester: Watch me.

[Seeing the well dressed people at the funeral reception]

Dean Winchester: Feel like we're underdressed.

Maddie: Okay, I need to get a picture of Jesse McCartney for my school newspaper.

London: Oh, don't worry about it. I have connections with Jesse. After all, he's a celebrity, and I'm a celebrity. We're first celebrities once removed.

London: [Reading the board] What is a "scho-lar"?

Maddie: Well, It is someone who sould read the sign.

Mr. Moseby: [to London] And it is someone who can pronounce the word "scholar".

Zack Martin: You're not going to tell, are you?

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Well, only if you do it.

Zack Martin: Grab her!

[London and Zack drag her away]

London: [to Esteban] You saw nothing.

Esteban: Okay. Have fun!

Dean Winchester: You ever actually watch daytime TV? It's terrible.

Sam Winchester: I talked to your doctor...

Dean Winchester: That fabric softener teddy bear... oooh, I'm 'a hunt that little bitch down.

Dean Winchester: Hey, Sam?

Sam Winchester: Yeah.

Dean Winchester: Now that this is all over I want you to tell me what that secret was.

Sam Winchester: Look, you're my brother, and I'd die for you. But there are some things I need to keep to myself.