Author Unknown quotes, page 12
London: I'm going to a party and I have nothing to wear!
Maddie: Well, what about this? It's brand new.
London: Oh, that hideous thing? I just bought that so someone else couldn't!
Det. Sgt. George Carter: I'm trying to lose some weight.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Listen, if you're really serious about that, you ought to try the onion diet.
Det. Sgt. George Carter: I'm trying to lose a few pounds - not all my friends!
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: You haven't got any friends.
Lobo: [to Superman] Now, the more you move, the worse it'll hurt, so feel free to go crazy.
Bizarro: [sees his reflection] What am me?
Mercy Graves: Bizarro, that's what you am!
Lex Luthor: Mercy...
Bizarro: Bizarro? That not my name.
Mercy Graves: If the shoe fits, handsome.
Bizarro: No! Me am Superman. Me am hero. Me show you.
[flies through the ceiling]
Lex Luthor: That's coming out of your pay.
Agent M: I am Agent M.
Mario Mario: I see.
Agent M: Not C. M!
Agent M: Not O! I'm M. Agent O is on vacation.
[Regan has arrested Brenda for kidnapping his daughter]
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Have you any idea what you've done to her mother? She could end up in a psychiatric ward because of you.
Brenda: [lamely] Sorry.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: [angrily] Sorry? Too bloody late for that! If you were Alan Foss, I'd take you somewhere quiet and I'd make sure you never walked straight again!
Superman: I know it's tough to turn down a dare, but sometimes being brave means using your head and not doing something dangerous just because other kids pressure you.
Tommy: You're right, Superman. I'll be smarter next time.
Boy #1: Yeah. Thanks, Superman.
Superman: [pats Tommy on the head] Okay then. Bye now.
Boy #2: What a dork.
Tommy: Is not!
Boy #2: Of course he is, with that corny little speech...
Tuck: The papparazi are paying $20,000 to get a picture of that wedding.
Zack Martin, Cody Martin: We'd be rich!
Cody Martin: And we could pay mom back!
Zack Martin: We'd be rich!
Cody Martin: We wouldn't be burdens!
Zack Martin: We'd be rich!
Cody Martin: We could give the rest of the money to charity!
Zack Martin: I swear we're not related.
Kate Regan: I still love you, Jack. And I still hate you. Well, not you, maybe - the job.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: You can't separate a man from his work, Kate.
Kate Regan: That's the trouble.
Lobo: The name's Lobo. That's L as in "lacerate," O as in "obliterate," B as in "disem-bowel," and O as in, uh... well, I guess I can use "obliterate" twice. Huh, what do you think?
Superman: I think you're a certifiable madman.
[picks Lobo up and throws him into a police car]
[Bizarro is holding up a collapsing roof to allow Superman to save Lois]
Bizarro: Me hold, you save Lois. Me no am Superman, you am Superman. Superman always save Lois.
Lois Lane: You ARE a hero.
Zack Martin: I like the way you think, sweet thang!
Cody Martin: You like anything she thinks, desperate thang!
[Regan and Carter find Stanley Proctor's body lying on the floor of his ransacked shop]
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: They really laid into him.
Det. Sgt. George Carter: Poor little bastard.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: [bitterly and sarcastically] He was sixty-three, five foot four and asthmatic - he must have *really* given them a bad time.
Lois Lane: I'm confused, Kent. See, I've lived in Metropolis most of my life and I can't figure out how some yokel from Smallville is suddenly getting every hot story in town.
Clark Kent: Well, Lois, the truth is I'm actually Superman in disguise, and I only pretend to be a journalist in order to hear about disasters as they happen and then squeeze you out of the byline.
Lois Lane: You're a sick man, Kent.
Clark Kent: You asked.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: The hairs on my wooden leg tell me that something is up.
Lobo: Hey, how's it going, chief? Uh, maybe you can help me, I'm new in town and I'm looking to find this geek here.
[He tosses down a hologram of Superman]
Desk Cop: Superman? We don't keep tabs on him. He only shows up if there's trouble.
Lobo: [grins] I can do trouble.
[He draws his blaster]
Lex Luthor: I'm waiting.
[Mercy gets out of the limousine and opens the door for him. He gets in, and she trades a look with Superman, then drives off]
Superman: Just a stray.
Ava Gregory: Guys! You guys! Bradin didn't come home last night!
Johnny Durant: Well...you know Bradin, He's uh he's gonna be fine
Jay Robertson: Most likely better than fine...
Johnny Durant: You think?
Jay Robertson: Well...
Ava Gregory: Ok, somebody better tell me what's going on!
Jay Robertson: Possibly some very big...stuff.
Ava Gregory: How big?
Johnny Durant: Oh I'd say something you only do once in your lifetime big!
Ava Gregory: Oh my god!
Bradin Westerly: Oh, it was so hot. I guess I just kinda fell asleep at the beach last night.
Johnny Durant: Any change left from last night?
Bradin Westerly: Haha..no.
Johnny Durant: Ohhh.
Jay Robertson: Touchdown!
Ava Gregory: Are you kidding me? What did you do when he told you his plans? Did you slap him on the back and give him a high five?!
Johnny Durant: ...and a few condoms
Ava Gregory: A few!?
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: I sometimes hate this bastard place! It's a bloody holiday camp for thieves and weirdos - all the rubbish. You age prematurely trying to sort some of them out. Try and protect the public, and all they do is call you fascist. You nail a villain and some ponced-up pinstripe Hampstead barrister screws it up like an old fag-packet on a point of procedure, then pops off for a game of squash and a glass of madeira. He's taking home thirty grand a year, and we can just about afford ten days in Eastbourne and a second-hand car. It's all bloody wrong, my son.
[Bowman is sitting in the gas chamber, awaiting execution]
Detective Kurt Bowman: How did he survive that car bomb. How?
[realization sets in]
Detective Kurt Bowman: He's Superman!
[executioner releases the gas]
Clark Kent: Granted, Lois, Luthor does a lot of strange things. But what reason could he possibly have for trying to fool his own bodyguard?
Lois Lane: Maybe he just needed some space. Haven't you ever noticed how she hovers over him, everywhere he goes?
Clark Kent: But Lois, that's her job.
Lois Lane: It's no wonder why you're still single, Kent.
Malcom Frink: I've created number crunches, I've created digital munches, but this is the first STUPID virus I've ever made!
Cody Martin, Tapeworm: Zack kissed a girl! Zack kissed a girl!
Carey: Boys, stop teasing Zack and be mature.
Arwin: Zack kissed a girl! Zack kissed a girl! Zack kissed a girl! He kissed a girl, a female! A female...
[Arwin stops, but accidentally sticks his hand in some cake, then eats it]
Arwin: Cake makes me crazy.
[a woman in a short tennis skirt bends over, showing her knickers. Regan and Stanley Proctor leer at her]
Stanley Proctor: I could be arrested for what you were thinking!
Superman: [narrating] Luck. That's what it all boils down to, doesn't it? The smallest break one way or the other. It can save a life or destroy one. And you can't fight it, no matter how strong you are.
Lois Lane: But who'd want to destroy Luthor?
[notices Clark's look]
Lois Lane: Well, yeah, but who'd be crazy enough to try?
London: [London is talking to Mr Mosby] When will he learn that education and me just don't mix?
Maddie: It's education and I.
London: Hello, this isn't about you!
[watching Lois depart early from Clark's funeral]
Superman: Well, so much for sentiment.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Ok. It's time to strip and make the bed
London: Ok, if that's what poor people do...
[starts to get undressed]
Maddie Fitzpatrick: Whoa there big girl! I meant strip the sheets off the bed and put on new ones.
Nick Slaughter: This is where you get out.
Cathy Paige: What, what are you talking about. There are people out there who are trying to kill me.
Nick Slaughter: Yeah, and there are others who are trying to restrain themselves.
Jonathan Kent: It's not like he's really dead, Martha. He just can't be Clark anymore.
Superman: But I *am* Clark. I need to be Clark. I'd go crazy if I had to be Superman all the time.
Brainiac: I needed a way to get your attention.
Lex Luthor: There's always e-mail.
Ilsa: You there, candy girl.
Maddie: My name's Maddie.
Ilsa: Ya, candy girl. I see you punched in at 4: 01. You were supposed to be here at 4: 00 to work on London's poochie party.
Maddie: Oh, sorry.
Ilsa: 4: 00 means 4: 00. I am docking you for that minute.
Maddie: That's a dime.
Ilsa: A dime you'll never see!
Sylvie Girard: I'm sure you're going to have time to finish your book. How's it going?
Nick Slaughter: Well it's a little complicated. I think the victim was killed by a character from another novel.
Lois Lane: Nice work, Smallville. You're only the second person I've ever seen get under Lex's skin.
Clark Kent: Who's the first?
Lois Lane: Me, when I dumped him.
Clark Kent: Whoa!
Lois Lane: Ancient history.
Cody Martin: [to Maddie] Don't let fear in your cockpit.
Carey Martin: Don't let what in your where?
Jason Harrington: Hey, man! Recycle that!
Kyle: You serious?
Maddie: [running over to Jason] You recycle?
Jason Harrington: Sure. Bottles, cans, everything.
Maddie: Since when?
Jason Harrington: Since my father bought Oregon and started chopping down the trees. You've heard of Octicorp?
Maddie: The center of all evil?
Jason Harrington: That's Dad!
Nick Slaughter: [to Rupert] You look like you were poured into that dress and forgot to say when.
Superman: As far as I've been able to piece together, I'm the last survivor of a planet called Krypton.
Lois Lane: [skeptical] Krypton?
Lois Lane: Okay...
Superman: You don't believe me.
Lois Lane: It's a little much.
Superman: Fair enough. All I ask is that you tell the truth about me.
Lois Lane: And that is?
Superman: I'm not here to scare anyone. In fact, I always try to help people whenever possible.
Lois Lane: You sound too good to be true. What's your secret?
Superman: What do you mean?
Lois Lane: Well you do go around in blue tights and a cape all the time, do you? What do you do in your off hours?
Superman: I think that's a question for another time.
Martha Kent: [seeing Kalibak run after Superman] Clark! Look out!
Lois Lane: [confused] Clark? Where-?
Nick Slaughter: [referring to Rupert in his 'dress'] The man looks like he was poured into this and forgot to say when.
Clark Kent: All of a sudden people are calling me "Superman." Some of them are even afraid of me, just like Jor-El and Lara warned. Does this mean I'm going to have to give up my life?
Jonathan Kent: No, son. It doesn't matter where you came from, or what you can do. You'll always be Clark Kent. Superman just helps out now and again.
Lois Lane: Inspector, is the S.C.U. really prepared to deal with Livewire?
Dan Turpin: If that short circuit shows her mug anywhere in this town, I will personally...
Livewire: [Voice only] Pucker up and plant a big wet one right on the lips!
[Livewire shows up in person and kisses Turpin on the lips, causing speakers to blow out one by one]
Clark Kent: Now that I've moved to Metropolis, it's gonna be impossible to keep a low profile.
Jonathan Kent: Yeah, I can see how touching an airplane down in the middle of a city might turn a few heads.
Brandi: [when she grounds London] A mother is never happy when she punishes her child.
London Tipton: Well the child ain't so thrilled either!
[Superman appears hovering outside Luthor's window. Luthor rolls it down]
Lex Luthor: Sorry, but we already have a window washer.
Lex Luthor: Oh, the silent treatment, eh? Well, I don't know what you think you heard out there, but I know what you can prove, and it's nothing. You see, uh..."Superman," I own Metropolis. My technology built it, my will keeps it going, and nearly two-thirds of its people work for me, whether they know it or not. Even you have to admit it's a model of efficiency.
Lex Luthor: And yet, I've often thought it's a waste of my talents staying in just one city. Why not focus my efforts on a more global scale? A being with your abilities could be very useful to me in that regard. Why don't you float on in and we'll discuss it, face-to-face?
[silence. Luthor finally loses his composure]
Lex Luthor: SAY SOMETHING!
[He grabs a model of the Lexo-skel and throws it. Superman catches it and crushes it to powder between his hands]
Superman: I'll be watching you, Luthor.
[after Jax-Ur has sent Superman into the Phantom Zone]
Lois Lane: I'm gonna personally lead the army that vaporizes you two!
Mala: Or vice-versa. Either way, see you soon.
Lawyer: And so, as the agreed-upon merchandise never left Metropolis, my client the Regent respectfully requests a full and prompt refund.
Lex Luthor: We had an understanding. All I had to do was arrange for the Regent's men to take possession, and they did. And now, because of this alien's interference, you expect me to eat a billion dollars?
Jax-Ur: So this is Kal-El. Your father was a clever man, though I see you share his poor judgment in choosing sides.
Superman: I'm glad to disappoint you.
Mala: [wrenches his head up] You will face the general when he addresses you!
Jax-Ur: It seems a shame to kill the only other survivor of Krypton. I'd offer you a place in our new order, but something tells me you'd turn it down.
Superman: I guess you're not as dumb as you look!
[Esteban, Maddie, London, Zack, and Cody are arguing about who is going to get the biggest cut of the treasure]
Arwin: [interrupting] Dogs have cleaner tongues than people!
[everyone backs away from him]
[after dismantling the Lexo-skel and pulling Corben out of it]
Superman: Shall we go a few rounds without the suit?
John Corben: Uh-uh.
Superman: Too bad.
Jax-Ur: [sniffs the air] Fossil fuel engines.
Mala: Primitive, aren't they?
Jax-Ur: But so was Krypton, centuries ago. I see great potential for these beings, under my guiding hand. We'll begin our conquest as soon as my powers are up to yours.
Mala: And after we've gotten rid of that one little obstacle.
Jax-Ur: The son of Jor-El... almighty Rao has brought me full circle, Mala. Giving me a planet to rule, and a chance for revenge.
Antauri: I will give you an observation though. The female species is one of the great mysteries in the universe.
Tatania: He's a genius. I want you to know that today his work received worldwide attention.
[looking at footage of Superman]
Lois Lane: Nice "S"...
Clark Kent: Excuse me?
Lois Lane: Here, that "S." He's strong, he flies, he's the Nietschian fantasy all wrapped up in a red cape... the Super-Man.
Clark Kent: "Super-man"?
Perry White: Hey, I like it! "Superman!" It's catchy, it sticks with you, the kind of name that looks great splashed across three columns! Make it four.
Mala: I think I found your weakness:
[referring to Lois]
Mala: you care about that twig!
Superman: I care about everyone, though you're pushing it right now.
Carey: [talking about baby-sitters] I was thinking maybe Maddie - works in the gift shop. She needs the money, like us.
Cody Martin: Oh, Maddie.
Zack Martin: [to Cody, miming hourglass shape] Baby's got it going on!
Carey: She's got what going where?
Zack Martin: I don't know what I'm saying.
Carey: Yeah, you better not.
Martha Kent: Still, it wouldn't be bad if people knew a little more about Superman. I don't want anyone thinking you're like that nut in Gotham City.
Lex Luthor: As long as I have the rock, you can't stop me. But it is bothersome to have you always trying, so, the deal is this: you leave me and my operations alone, and I and my little green rock will leave you alone.
Superman: I don't make deals with criminals.
Lex Luthor: I control everything in this town, Superman, your co-operation is not really necessary. The offer was merely a courtesy.
Superman: [glaring] You will *never* control me, Luthor. Never!
Lex Luthor: Well, then, I guess I'll have to kill you.
Mario "Jumpman" Mario: [first line in cartoon segment] Plumber's Log, number 007; we arrived in Spy Land.
Dr. Anton Arcane: I don't mind telling you I'm buzzed. Why'd you sneak this past the FDA? It'd put the coffee makers out of business, and make a bloody fortune.
[Lois finds Clark ahead of her at the Lexcorp press conference]
Lois Lane: How'd you get here before me?
Clark Kent: Well, I just flew.
Lois Lane: What'd you get?
Clark Kent: [puts away his notebook] A shared byline, if you use it.
Lois Lane: I take it back. You're not the rube hayseed I took you for.
Clark Kent: Thanks... I think.
Lex Luthor: You work for me, Peterson. There shouldn't be an opinion in your head that I didn't put there!
Cody Martin: Remember. If you can conceive, you can achieve and if you can acheive ...
London Tipton: I hate that saying!
Jolie: [in French] Papa, Cody m'a demander de sortir avec lui demain soir. P'ui j'aller?
[Daddy, Cody asked me out for a date with him tomorrow night. Can I go? ]
Maurice Fruggard: A date? You will need a chaperone!
Mr. Moseby: I completely agree.
Maurice Fruggard: Good. So you'll do it!
Mr. Moseby: Say what?
Maurice Fruggard: Say yes, or we're checking out.
Carey Martin: The more you connect with them the less your stuff they'll break.
Mr. Moseby: You really expect me to believe that?
Carey Martin: No... Mr. Moesby, please, please, please, please, please! I never get a day to myself and the boys love you.
Mr. Moseby: They love me?
Carey Martin: No, but they might if you took them to a baseball game.
Guest #1: Well, I can't believe that hotel guy won't take his own kids to a baseball game.
Mr. Moseby: They're not my...
Guest #2: That's just not right.
Mr. Moseby: But I hate baseball.
Guest #1: Now that's just un-American.
Guest #2: Can you believe this guy? I guess you hate apple pie too, huh, fella? And puppies. And your own mama.
Mr. Moseby: Sir...
Mr. Moseby: I love my mama!
Mr. Moseby: I'd love to take the boys to the game. What time is kick-off?
Maitre'd: Well, if it isn't little miss "I'm sorry, but this hotel doesn't stock your favorite flavor of gum."
Maddie: Maitre'd, no-one likes coconut-flavored gum.
Maitre'd: I do, so apparently, I'm a nobody.
Cody Martin: Hey mom! e got 3 tickets so you can take us to the game tomorro!
Zack Martin: Won't that be fun?
Mr. Moseby: [scene change] Not fun!
[Mr. Moseby is at a Red Sox vs. Yankees game with Zach and Cody]
Mr. Moseby: Stealing a base, while "theatrical," is statistically inadvisable!
Fan: I'll tell you what's inadvisable. Shooting off your mouth when you don't know diddly!
Mr. Moseby: Well, I'm sure that this Diddly is a fine fellow!
Lance: Water spilled all on our instrument and like now they're like wet and don't work. I thought water was good but I quess it has a dark side.
Zack Martin: We're gonna beat you in the battle of the bands.
Maddie: No you're not.
Zack Martin: Yeah, we have great looks, a great song and... we're 12 and cute!
Maddie: Yeah. well I'm 15 and hot.
Zack Martin: You are good.
Tapeworm: [opens the closet to see that Zack and Cody are gone] Oh, no, there gone! They've been sucked into a black hole and are hurdling through time and space.
Max: Or they crawled through that vent.
Tapeworm: Now let's not get carried away.