Beast Boy: [after seeing Slade's fire powers] DUDE!

Cyborg: Yeah! Since when can Slade do that?

Robin: Not sure, but he won't be doing it for long. Titans GO!

Louie De Palma: You're not going to go up the stairs and destroy another human beings's life are you?

Jeff Bennett: Yeah.

[Jim and Jeb have just found Charlie in an alley badly beaten after he announced he's made a gold strike]

Sheriff Hal Humphrey: All right, Charley, I guess you're going to live. The Lord sure must love a man with a big mouth.

Jim Hardie: Do you have any idea who did it?

Charlie: Yeah, Hank Garrett. He was at me and at me all afternoon trying to get me to tell him where I found my gold. I guess he got a little impatient.

Sheriff Hal Humphrey: If he got any more impatient, he'd have beat you to death.

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: How long have you worked for Superintendent Grant?

Det. Sgt. Jellineck: Six months. For my money he's the best superintendent a DS could have.

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: There *is* a certain amount of wastage amongst his personnel. I mean his men keep dying on him. It's pretty dangerous working for Grant, isn't it?

Det. Sgt. Jellineck: We have the highest arrest rate in the Met.

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Yeah - cardiac arrest.

Michaelangelo: [after Michelangelo finds April's Shop] Well, there was this big fight...

Casey Jones: Whoa! Big fight? Why wasn't I invited?

[Cyborg rips a huge metall pillar off the wall and swings it at Slade. Slade burns through it]

Cyborg: Whoa!

Slade: Whoa? That's it? No clever comment? I was looking forward to that.

Martha: A husband who only eats soft-boiled eggs is never going to satisfy me.

[referring to the "wanted poster" he created for Jim Hardie]

Jay Squire: And now he's gonna know what it's like to be hunted like an animal, never knowing where, when... or who.

[Regan has been summoned to a meeting with Superintendent Grant on his day off. DS Jellineck is taking him to Grant's office]

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: [sarcastically] I really appreciate this, Sergeant. I was going to be spending a dull afternoon watching Fulham play.

Hotshot Charlie: Flight Lee to Air Cathay, Flight Lee to Air Cathay. Tanzan airport - paging one ex-numbers king. Are you there, Chops?

Chopstick Joe: Air Cathay to Flight Lee, Air Cathay to Flight Lee. Look, flyboy, make with a little dignity. You want people to think I'm a bum? Over.

Hotshot Charlie: Making an early approach now, oh illustrious, magnificent employer. Three minutes out.

Chopstick Joe: You got a lady on board - Miss de Lautrec?

Hotshot Charlie: Lady? This one's a doll! With more assets than you've got liabilities, Chops.

Baxter Stockman: So, as any fool can see, the whole thing is simply a minor setback. With your continued funding, the research can continue immediately. I'll be at work, oh, Monday morning.

Oroku Saki: You must pay the price for failure, Dr. Stockman.

[Hun grabs Stockman and drags him out of the room]

Baxter Stockman: No! Where you taking me? You'll regret this! No!

Cyborg: So who's the bad guy for the day? Gizmo, Mad Mod, Killer Moth?

Starfire: The reports say there's an intruder.

Beast Boy: Well, whoever it is, we're totally going to kick their...

[then Beast Boy bumps into Robin]

Robin: [sees Slade] No!

Slade: It's been a long time, hasn't it, Titans? A month, a year, a millennium? Far too long for my tastes anyway. I was beginning to think I'd never see you again!

Cyborg: You! How did you survive?

Beast Boy: Terra took you down! Way down!

Robin: Slade! I don't know where you've been but you shouldn't have come back! I'm still ready.

Slade: That's touching Robin. But I didn't come back for you.

Kathleen Clayton: Hello, Jane.

Officer Jane Porter: Have you seen John?

Kathleen Clayton: Yeah, I have.

Officer Jane Porter: All right, where is he?

Kathleen Clayton: At the airstrip in Lindenhurst. I'm sending him back.

Officer Jane Porter: Back where?

Kathleen Clayton: Took a bit of doing, but one of my jets is taking him as far as Brazzaville. It's in the Republic of Congo. He'll make the rest of the way on his own.

Officer Jane Porter: What?

Kathleen Clayton: He's going home.

Jim Hardie: Sometimes it pays to have a hasty gun.

Iris Long: You wouldn't cross the street to say hello to me if I lay naked on a zebra crossing.

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Look, Iris, the world does not revolve round your body - this bloke Gallileo proved it: it goes round the sun.

Baxter Stockman: I got them! I got them all

[bumps onto Hun]

Baxter Stockman: You. What do you want, Hun?

Hun: Trouble, Dr. Stockman?

Baxter Stockman: Trouble? No, no. Everything is proceeding exactly as I planned.

Hun: [Grabs Stockman] Perhaps you like to explain this plan to the master.

Baxter Stockman: Let me go, you brainless muscle bound idiot! Let me go! Let me go!

Beast Boy: You know, just because we're trying to catch Slade doesn't mean you have to act like him.

Robin: Don't you EVER compare me to him! He's trying to destroy the city, I'm trying to save it!

Jim Hardie: I take it your Button Smith.

Button Smith: Who else.

Jim Hardie: You know, it's bothered me ever since I first heard it. Where'd you get a name like that?

Button Smith: When I was born, ma says to pa, "Ain't he sure cute as a button!"

Jim Hardie: Your ma oughta see you now.

Button Smith: Yeah. Be quite some shock to her, wouldn't it?

[to his bound and gagged captive who is struggling to free herself]

Jay Squire: Patience, Mary Gee. Even your stallion knows enough to save his strength.

Wally Hough: I taught Jack Regan everything he knows... remember that!

[spotting Arlette]

Hotshot Charlie: Ohhh, beautiful sunrise at 7 o'clock. Finders keepers! I hereby file claim 970614.

Terry Lee: We've got less than an hour, chum.

Hotshot Charlie: Wasn't it Rasputin who said, "There's so many of 'em and so little time"?

Terry Lee: She's not your type, Chaz. She looks intelligent.

Terry Lee: Cargo's all aboard - everything from aspirin to parts for a broken sousaphone. We're even carrying a chick.

Hotshot Charlie: One chick?

Terry Lee: Yeah, the kind you go for.

Hotshot Charlie: You mean a real, live female?

Terry Lee: Of the opposite sex, remember?

Hotshot Charlie: I hope I never forget. Wonder what she looks like?

Terry Lee: How would I know? Maybe she looks like Chopstick Joe's grandmother.

Hotshot Charlie: Oh, don't kid me - he never had one. Oh, well. If she qualifies for the opposite sex, why, we can hope for the best.

Terry Lee: I sure like your strict requirements in women - they must be women.

Splinter: What will you do now, Ms. O'Neil? You are most defiantly out of a job.

April O'Neil: I'm not exactly sure.

Donatello: We'll help you get back on your feet.

April O'Neil: You guys, you've all been, well... great. And by guys, I guess I mean four big, green talking turtles and a giant talking rat.

Donatello: Here's to the new team.

[raises glass]

Marty DePolo: You can do it! You can do it! You can do it!

Steve Beauchamp: Shut up!

Eddy Pierce: Ruth can handle a gun; there's no need for me to stay here and watch after 'em.

Jim Hardie: Well, I just think they'd feel safer is someone was here with 'em.

Eddy Pierce: Oh, you think I'd be in your way, is that it? Well, let me tell you somethin' - I can do more with one arm then most men can do with two!

Jim Hardie: You were in the army, Pierce. Since when is it a disgrace to stand guard?

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Look, slag! I don't give a toss who you have in your bed, but don't you try and run your numbers on me!

Wang-Ho: A dark cloud - that spells trouble.

Chopstick Joe: Correction, Wang-Ho. Cloud is forerunner to sunshine... merely a thin veil that hides future happiness.

Wang-Ho: Even the power of sunshine could not penetrate so dense a cloud.

Baxter Stockman: [to the turtles] What are you?

April O'Neil: They're with me!

Baxter Stockman: April! You're alive?

April O'Neil: And kicking. I've got enough evidence to put you away for years, Dr. Stockman.

Coach Fortner: Stop the match!

[the ref pulls Vin off Steve]

Coach Fortner: I have a shocking announcement. In my hand I hold a yearbook.

[the audience gasps]

Coach Fortner: I haven't gotten to the shocking part yet! What is wrong with you people?... This year book is five years old and-

[they gasp again. Coach makes sounds of frustration]

Coach Fortner: ... and it has a picture of Vin the Pin Williams. He graduated already, he's a ringer.


Coach Fortner: Now you can gasp!

[They gasp. He points to Vin]

Coach Fortner: You, disqualified.

[Goes to Steve]

Coach Fortner: You, the winner!

McHale: It's like looking for nothing in the middle of nowhere. I don't like it, Jim.

Jim Hardie: Neither do I, but it's what I'm gettin' paid for.

Jim Hardie: Hello, Breese.

Tom Ogburn: I didn't know you'd met.

Jim Hardie: Once or twice too often. Is he a friend of yours?

Tom Ogburn: I wouldn't exactly say he was a friend.

Jim Hardie: I wouldn't exactly want to.

Baxter Stockman: Intruders? Here to steal my secrets? You will leave here nothing not even your lives.

[stares at the heat signatures of the Turtles]

Baxter Stockman: What on earth are you? I suppose I'll have to dissect you to find out.

Baxter Stockman: [turns on the communicator] What?

Oroku Saki: Dr. Stockman.

Baxter Stockman: Make it quick. I'm very busy.

Oroku Saki: I am contacting you to verify that you are fulfilling your end of our bargain and that you are on schedule.

Baxter Stockman: I will not stand for anymore of this idiotic interrogation! I've advanced the Mousers to the next stage, and they are securing the funds from the bank as you requested. Can you grasp that simple concept?

Oroku Saki: Do not presume too much, Dr. Stockman. The price for failure would be quite extreme.

Baxter Stockman: [Stockman turns off the communicator] Imbecile!

Marty DePolo: [serenading Grandpa and Grandma] O sole mio, my car's a Geo, our busboy Leo, has a bad case of B-O.

Narrator: Detective Jane Porter had everything she ever wanted. But one night, a mysterious stranger changed her world. John Clayton, a man raised in the jungle, then brutally abducted by his uncle, finds himself thrown into a battle for the Greystoke empire. Falsely accused of murder, he and Jane form a bond of mutual protection. To rise up against those who might harm them, protect those in need and secure a future neither could have foreseen.

Arly Timmons: What are we going to prove? What are we going to have when it's over?

Caleb Timmons: Peace of mind... maybe.

Arly Timmons: We'll have blood on our hands the rest of our lives.

Buck Timmons: Then we'll just have to find somethin' to wash it off with!

[Carter rouses Wally Hough from a deep sleep. Hough looks very rough]

Wally Hough: I've got a mouth like a fireman's boot. You got any fags?

Grandma: You haven't been seeing any other women, have you?

Grandpa Jerry Beauchamp: No.

Grandma: Any other men?

Martin Yates: Around and around she goes - where she stops, nobody knows.

Roy Fulton: I'm beginning to wonder about that.

Capt. Dennis Sheridan: [Reading a business card found in Connors' effects] Gamblers Anonymous. Sam Miller.

Capt. Dennis Sheridan: Looks like Connors has other problems in addition to dealing dope.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Well, at least this one he was trying to shake. Shall we check it out?

Capt. Dennis Sheridan: I guess so. It's a long shot, but it's all we got.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker: What better place to check on a long shot? Gamblers Anonymous is the last refuge of the longshot bettor. Let's roll, Junior!

[talking about Mrs Rix]

Sergeant: She's got a mouth like a blowlamp.

Wells Fargo Agent: This fellow is all right, Mr. Hardie.

Jim Hardie: Too bad - this one's not. He's dead.

Chopstick Joe: He paid me well and when money is silver, silence is golden, if you dig me.

Major Ellis: I'll dig you with a spade, you old teabag. Either you find out what's in those shipments or you can consider your planes grounded from here on out!

Raphael: First rule: Ignore Mikey. Your life will be much easier.

Steve Beauchamp: I think this friendship with Jordan is going to kill me!

Marty DePolo: And you can be HIS wacky guardian angel!

Wally Lambert: [brandishing his pistol] Get down!

Jeb Gaine: I'm ridin' out, whether it's alive or dead. It's up to you.

Wally Lambert: I told you I'd use this if I ever had to.

Jeb Gaine: I've lived most of my life; yours is just beginning. Balance it out - who's got the most to lose?

Arthur Reardon: I'll be waiting outside the mine.

Denning: Oh, Mr. Denning... bring the money.

Arthur Reardon: Sure! The money on delivery and a .45 just to keep the game honest.

Bono: Have I ever dreamt I murdered anyone?

Host: Anxiety, it's called.

Bono: Is that what it is?

Host: Yeah.

Bono: No, never. I've dreamt a few times that I've been murdered. And most of them spoke with English accents. All right? And worked in the print media.

April O'Neil: Seriously, I promise.

Splinter: ...I believe you.

Leonardo: Is this another lesson, Master Splinter? How to sense the truth?

Splinter: No, this is called trusting your gut.

Marty DePolo: [about Steve and Jordan's new friendship] I knew he'd leave me one day, but did it have to be for a blond? It's so typical!... there, I said it.

Cyrus Canfield: Well, that's one way for a father to find an erring daughter - send a hoodlum after her.

Pat Garrett: Get some sleep.

Cyrus Canfield: You're so kind, Mr. Garrett.

Colonel Navarro: I'm a soldier, Captain. I just obey orders.

Colonel Peralta: To the death! Bravo! We must drink a toast to that.

Host: Larry, can you have anything you ask for?

Larry Mullen Jr.: Yes!

Chopstick Joe: Air Cathay is priviledged to serve many customers, Major. What's your beef?

Major Ellis: According to my information, this shipment was filed by a Professor Gaspardi. Who is he?

Chopstick Joe: Air Cathay is interested in flying fee not biography, Major.

Splinter: Young woman, we have something most important to discuss.

April O'Neil: What?

Splinter: We have never revealed ourselves to the other world. You have placed us all in great danger.

Leonardo: But, Master Splinter... she was in trouble and we helped her.

Raphael: Yeah, aren't you always teaching us to do the right thing?

Splinter: As you grow older, you will learn there are many ways to do the right thing. But there is no going back. I'm afraid we find ourselves at your mercy.

April O'Neil: Oh, I would never tell anybody. I mean, who would believe me?

Donatello: She's got a point.

Michaelangelo: Yeah! We're unbelievable!

Raphael: Geez, where's your off switch?

Uncle Lou: [to Marty] Sneeze all you want. This place is covered in plastic.

Louie De Palma: Let's face it, Reiger, crime pays. You know people go around thinking if they do something bad, then something bad has gotta happen to them. Well, I am living proof that that's not true.

[Bledsoe, a general during the Civil War, has been demoted to colonel in the peacetime army]

Colonel Bledsoe: It's a hard road up when you're reaching for the stars. I intend to get them back.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker: [to the scared, young crook pointing a gun at him] You're not in real trouble yet. Not if you drop the gun. Try shooting it out, and you'll be dead. And being dead is as much trouble as there is.

[last lines]

Dragon Lady: Thank you again, Mr. Lee. You must come up for dinner.

Hotshot Charlie: Sure thing. When and what are you having?

Dragon Lady: After tomorrow - barbequed rooster.

Chopstick Joe: For me, cooked goose.

Raphael: Hey. Hey, Earth to Mikey.

Michaelangelo: Ow! What?

Raphael: She woke up. Leo made her some tea and she's ready to consider we might be real.

Michaelangelo: Awesomely radical, dude!

Raphael: You keep talking like that, she's gonna pass out again.

Michaelangelo: Hey!

Marty DePolo: Oh, yeah! I remember her! She stopped me from swallowing that themometer! She said if I kept eating dangerous things, I'd die!... Wait a minute!

Mary Gee: My name's Mary Gee. What's yours?

Jay Squire: Jay Squire at your service.

Mary Gee: Could you, ah, be at my service? You see I'm kind of in trouble.

Jay Squire: Yes, Mary Gee, I believe you are.

[Mary Gee turns and sees Rake approaching her, stout rope in hand]

Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Most perpetrators do what they do because they hate. They want. They do things to other people because it's easier to rob them than it is to work.

Dragon Lady: I knew you could be depended upon, Mr. Lee.

Hotshot Charlie: Ah, remember me? I'm the guy you made the deal with.

Dragon Lady: Yes - and you had me very worried.

Hotshot Charlie: No extra charge for suspense.

Leonardo: Your reign of terror is OVER, Stockman!!

Michaelangelo: [Admiringly] You been practicing that?

Leonardo: You like it?

Uncle Lou: This is a special occasion. I'm going to put on pants!

Marty DePolo: You do that!

Jim Hardie: I don't think I made a mistake.

Beau McCloud: If you ever do, I'll be there to back you up.

Arthur Reardon: Is this how you live? The place is not fit for rats!

Charlie: Ah, it does me fine. A man like me don't need much. The only time I get me in trouble is when I let somebody tell me I need more than I got.

Arthur Reardon: What does that mean?

Charlie: I got hauled into an alley and beat up pretty good tonight playin' that silly gold mine game of yours.

Officer Vince Romano: Hooker, I know how how you feel.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Do ya? I don't think so, Junior. I don't think you know what's in my gut. That scum who pulled the trigger is gonna wish he never saw a cop. I'm gonna find him... and I'm gonna bury him!

Terry Lee: Air Cathay to Flight 2, come in.

Hotshot Charlie: Greetings T. Lee, this is Hotshot Charles C. Charles - Chaz, that is - reporting to all you nature lovers that the sky is beautiful, the ozone fresh and the clouds are sensational.

Terry Lee: Hotshot, what are you doing up there?

Hotshot Charlie: Since I am not a celestial being, it should be obvious that I'm flying an aircraft on the 328 beam into Tokyo at 8000 feet, ably assisted by one Okura. So buzz off, boys. I've got to get this bucket of bolts into the Land of the Rising Sun.

Chopstick Joe: All I know, Major, is what is on that paper.

Major Ellis: Then you better start reading between the lines. "Perishable" is obviously a cover for contraband.

Chopstick Joe: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't blow your flaps. There are times when a man has no choice. Sometimes urgency requires expediency.

Francis: [menacingly but calmly] Mr Jessop sends his apologies. He's not feeling very well. Something to do with his legs. He tried to sell me some information... dirt, pure dirt.

[Davey tries to leave]

Francis: We've not begun our little chat and already you're wanting to leave. Now that's not polite!

[to Davey Holmes]

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: If you weren't who you are, I'd kick your arse up to your shoulderblades.

[first lines]

Narrator: Somewhere over Asia, the modern airplane blends with the endless clouds. This is one of the planes of Air Cathay - proprietor, Chopstick Joe - a colorful Oriental character with a flair for Occidental hep talk, offering his services to one and all, but first of all to himself.

[last lines]

Hotshot Charlie: There she goes!

Burma: You don't think you'll catch her.

Terry Lee: She's a dangerous woman!

Burma: Oh? Is that what you want?

[Terry grabs her and they kiss passionately]

Hotshot Charlie: Terry!

Det. Chief Supt. Braithwaite: I'll bend the rules to win, Jack, but I won't bend them to lose.

Det. Chief Supt. Braithwaite: The good old days are gone forever. You can't keep villains banged up while you decide what to stick on them. Not any more.

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: You can if your governors back you up.

[title sequence]

[pointing out the cockpit window]

Hotshot Charlie: Hey, Terry!

Terry Lee: Look out, Hotshot! Here we go!

[MP Hilary Elkin has made an official complaint to Haskins that Regan has been harrassing Eddie Boyse]

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: He's put the wind up Haskins. He's been running with two legs in the one knicker ever since.

Det. Chief Insp. Frank Haskins: I'll go round the back.

[Haskins walks off]

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Huh! Round-the-back Haskins strikes again!

[Longley is exonerated when the judge rules Crawford's death was justifiable homicide]

Bill Longley: Thank you, Judge. I'll buy you a drink.

Judge Whittaker: No, I'll buy you one. After you hear the rest of it, you're going to need one. According to the criminal code of the state of Montana - and they ought to do something about it - a man who kills another man in a fair fight must assume the debts and responsibilities of the loser. That includes taking care of the wife and all children until such time as the widow remarries.

Bill Longley: That's a law?

Judge Whittaker: Read the bad news for yourself.

[talking about Eddie Boyse]

Det. Sgt. George Carter: He's got the Church and the Palace of Westminster on his side. Who have you got?

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: My mum. She thinks I'm a genius!

Hotshot Charlie: As major domo, official host, hand holder and baby driver of Air Cathay, I welcome you, mademoiselle.

Michael Kelso: I have a question. If Hyde was in Hyde's bed and Jackie was in Hyde's bed, what exactly was going on in said bed?

Steven Hyde: Nothing. She needed a place to sleep.

Michael Kelso: Needed a place to sleep! Well, a bed is an interesting choice now, wouldn't you say?

Terry Lee: Air goop. Grooms the hair, lubricates warts and makes an excellent holding base for cordite. What'll you have?

Burma: A nice explosion, please - Size 12.

Terry Lee: How far would you trust this Singdee?

Burma: A long way.

Hotshot: Ohh, I wouldn't. Don't forget, Singdee has been breathing heavily through the nose over Burma. When he sees her taking off with us, Singdee won't be happy.

Terry Lee: Oh, the man wise in the ways of women.

Hotshot: And guys who love women. I've been there.

Det. Sgt. George Carter: Excuse me for asking, guv'nor, but what the hell are we doing here?

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Revisiting the scene of the crime. Don't you ever go to the pictures?

Det. Sgt. George Carter: Well yeah, but there's something about Clint Eastwood that make it enjoyable.

[Terry has just insulted their captor, Yat Chang Hoy]

Hotshot: I don't think you displayed great wisdom, chum.

Terry Lee: The smuggler!

Hotshot: I think you have complicated matters.

Terry Lee: The dirty smuggler!

Hotshot: I think you have got us both shot.

Terry Lee: That no good dirty smuggler!

Hotshot: And I'm so proud of ya, I could hug ya!

Terry Lee: Not in that shirt you don't.

Yat Chang Hoy: I shall send you down by caravan. They leave quite frequently.

Hotshot: A caravan? Smuggling goods, no doubt.

Yat Chang Hoy: Captain Charles, smuggling is a breach of the law. I could scarecely do such a thing, since here I *am* the law.

Martha Witherspoon: So you are the famed lady dragon? Very attractive.

Dragon Lady: I am known as the Dragon Lady.

Martha Witherspoon: I dare say the dragon men are very happy over the arrangement.

Dragon Lady: Cigarette, Terry Lee?

Terry Lee: The Dragon Lady! I should have known you'd be mixed up in something like this.

Dragon Lady: In Macao, I'm Madame Roulette.

[indicating a door in the back of their cell]

Hotshot: I wonder where that goes?

Terry Lee: Wherever it goes, we're not going - it's locked.

Bill Longley: Look, mister, I don't know you; you don't know me. Now let's leave it that way.

Dr. Anton Arcane: Oh, Stella's dead, what a shame! She was a good assistant. Fairly attractive in an odd sort of way.

Graham: You killed Stella!

Dr. Anton Arcane: Then the experiment worked? Fantastic!

Mr. Moseby: Please don't tell me you've lost your dog in my hotel.

Maddie: No! We're just playing hide and seek... and he's winning!

Esteban: Oh, he's very good. Marco!

[puts his hand over his mouth]

Esteban: Puayo!

Mr. Moseby: First of all, that's not hide and seek. Secondly, you don't answer yourself, and thirdly it's "Polo!" Find that dog, and remove him from the premises, or I will remove both of you permanently!

[Moseby walks away, Maddie approaches Esteban]

Maddie: PUAYO?

Graham: You know stella was always coming in here, feeding the mutants...

[Fortunato and Montressor are descending into the catacombs]

General Fortunato: You know, life is nothing but a lot of steps - either you go up or you go down.