London: Snookums, say hi to Lord Corcoran.

Ivana: How do you do?

Lord Corcoran: Oh, fabulous. I just won the English Kennel Club's best in show.

Ivana: Who came in second place? A cat?

London: I think they like each other.

Ivana: You also think one and one is four.

Matt Pike: [on cell] Hello?

Sam Winchester: Matt, it's Sam!

Matt Pike: [freaked] Sam, my backyard's crawling with cockroaches!

Sam Winchester: Matt, just listen, you have to get your family out of that house, right now, okay?

Matt Pike: What, why?

Sam Winchester: Because something's coming.

Matt Pike: More bugs.

Sam Winchester: Yeah, a lot more.

Matt Pike: My Dad doesn't listen in the best of circumstances, what am I supposed to tell him?

Sam Winchester: You gotta *make* him listen, okay?

Dean Winchester: Gimme the phone, gimme the phone!

[Sam hands him the cell]

Dean Winchester: Matt! Under no circumstances are you to tell the truth, he'll just think you're nuts!

Matt Pike: But, but he's my...

Dean Winchester: Tell him you have a sharp pain in your right side and you gotta go to the hospital, okay?

Matt Pike: Yeah. Yeah, okay.

[hangs up]

Dean Winchester: [to Sam] Make him listen. What're you thinkin'?

Dean Winchester: You're not gonna try and kill me are you?

Sam Winchester: No.

Dean Winchester: Good, 'cuz that would be awkward.

Carey Martin: Aren't you two supposed to be in bed? Where's Muriel?

Cody Martin: Oh, we fed her, let her watch TV, and she went to sleep right on time!

Maddie: We get to meet Usher?

London: Sweetie, Usher gets to meet us.

Carey: Cody, your little girlfriend is so sweet.

Cody Martin: My girlfriend?

Carey: Oh, I get it. OK. Your friend that just happens to be a girl.

[to Agnes]

Carey: Boys!

Dean Winchester: Did you get any sleep last night?

Sam Winchester: Yeah, I grabbed a couple hours.

Dean Winchester: Liar. 'Cause I was up at three, and you were watching the George Foreman infomercial.

Sam Winchester: Hey, what can I say, its riveting TV.

Dean Winchester: When's the last time you got a good night's sleep?

Sam Winchester: I dunno, a little while I guess. It's not a big deal.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, it is.

Sam Winchester: Look, I appreciate your concern.

Dean Winchester: Oh, I'm not concerned about you. It's your job to keep my ass alive, so I need you sharp. Seriously, you still havin' nightmares about Jess?

Sam Winchester: Yeah. But it's not just her, it's everything. I just forgot, you know, this job. Man, it gets to you.

Dean Winchester: Well, you can't let it. You can't bring it home like that.

Sam Winchester: So what, all this, it never keeps you up at night?

[Dean shakes his head]

Sam Winchester: Never. You're never afraid.

Dean Winchester: No, not really.

[Sam laughs and pulls a big knife from under Dean's pillow]

Dean Winchester: That's not fear. That is precaution.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [pulling London away from an argument with her stepmother, Brandi] London, remember what Sister Dominick taught us? About turning our anger into love? How we have to reach out to others and do nice things for them?

London Tipton: I don't want to do nice things for Brandi.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: I don't care about her! I'm talking about me!

Esteban: [claps] That was wonderful! It is amazing how your lips and his move at the same time!

Cody Martin: That's not supposed to happen.

Esteban: Oh, well, in that case, you're no good. I am off.

[Dean uses his suit jacket to hop a barbed-wire fence unscathed]

Dean Winchester: Wow, these monkey suits do come in handy.

Zack Martin: it says, this is the same stuff used by the CIA!

Cody Martin: Cool! Where did you get it?

Zack Martin: Burger Barn!

Mr. Moseby: You're father is incognito.

London: Where is cognito?

Mr. Moseby: In hiding.

London: Where is hiding?

Dean Winchester: Man. I look like one of the Blues Brothers!

Sam Winchester: No, you don't. You look more like a seventh grader at his first dance.

Dean Winchester: [looks himself up and down] I hate this thing.

Cody Martin: [to Zack] You wanna cut school?

Zack Martin: Why not? Look at you, what do you do all day?

Cody Martin: Schoolwork.

Zack Martin: And what do you do when we get home?

Cody Martin: Homework.

Zack Martin: And on the weekends?

Cody Martin: Weekendwork.

Zack Martin: There's no such thing as weekendwork!

London: I love the sticky stuff mom puts in our sandwiches. What do you call it?

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Peanut Butter.

Mr. Moseby: [comes over] London, great news!

London: Me first. I like peanut butter.

Mr. Moseby: I think you'll like this even more.

[holds up a newspaper that say "Tipton Back On Top"]

Mr. Moseby: Tipton back on top!

London: On top of what?

Mr. Moseby: They struck oil in your father's diamond mine.

London: Well, that must have made a mess.

[Mr. Mosby moans]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: London, it means you're again.

London: Really? Yay,

[jumps up and down and then tosses the sandwich over her shoulder]

London: Goodbye peanut butter and hello lobster dipped in butter.

[runs off]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Same old London.

Mr. Moseby: But on the upside,

[does a little dance]

Mr. Moseby: you've got your room back to yourself. You've got your room back to yourself.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: I suppose.

Mr. Moseby: Hey, you did a good thing.

[he leaves as London comes back]

London: Maddie, in all of the excitement, I forgot yopu and I made lunch plans.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Yeah, and then you got rich again.

London: Which is why I'm taking you to MAson Robert.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Really?

London: It's the least I can do. I mean you took me in when no one else would. You like me for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness...

Maddie Fitzpatrick: We're not married London.

London: But we are friends, right?

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Yeah.

London: [they start to leave but London stops Maddie] Then as a friend, can I tell you something?

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Yeah.

London: That sweater looks like a moldy lemon.

[Maddie gives a hurt look]

London: It's ok. We'll get a booth in the back.

[they leave]

Carey: I love your hair! Did you buy or lease it?

Tim: [touches hair] It was a gift.

Dean Winchester: Alright, well, she's got to be the most well-adjusted person on the planet.

Sam Winchester: You said Christo?

Dean Winchester: Yeah.

Sam Winchester: And?

Dean Winchester: There's no demon in her. There's no demon getting in her.

Snooty Woman: [to Zack and Cody] You again? And who's that? Your parole officer?

Bob: I was going to buy something, but you can forget it now!

[repeated line]

Zack Martin, London, Maddie, Cody Martin, Carey, Mr. Moseby: WHAT!

Esteban: Maddie, London is treating you like a dog.

Maddie: Oh, I wish! No, her dog's upstairs in the hot tub. Which reminds me, I have to give it a massage.

Esteban: I can't believe she's making you give her Schitzu a shiatsu!

Sam Winchester: What if she's already possessed?

Dean Winchester: There's ways to test that. I brought holy water.

Sam Winchester: No. I think we can go more subtle. If she's possessed, she'll flinch at the name of god.

Dean Winchester: Oh. Nice.

[gets up and starts to walk away]

Sam Winchester: Hey.

Dean Winchester: What?

Sam Winchester: Say it in Latin.

Dean Winchester: I know.

[starts to walk away again]

Sam Winchester: Hey!

Dean Winchester: What?

Sam Winchester: Uh, in Latin, its 'christo.'

Dean Winchester: Dude, I know, I'm not an idiot!

Brandi: London, it's so nice to meet you. Your father's told me all about you.

[hugs London]

London Tipton: Moseby, why is this stranger hugging me?

Mr. Moseby: She's your stepmother.

London Tipton: Moseby, why is my stepmother hugging me?

Brandi: Because I love you, silly.

London Tipton: You just met me.

Brandi: I know, but I already love you. You're my daughter, and you're perfect in every way.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Wait until you get to know her.

London: I got this working thing down.

[fire alarm goes off]

London: Oh, it must be the cooking timer.

Dean Winchester: When was the last time you got a good night of sleep?

Sam Winchester: I don't know. Awhile ago, I guess. It's not a big deal.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, it is.

Sam Winchester: Look, I appreciate your concern.

Dean Winchester: Oh, I'm not concerned about you. It's your job to keep my ass alive so I need you sharp. Seriously you're still having nightmares about Jess?

Sam Winchester: Yeah but it's not just her, it's everything. I just forgot, you know, this job, man, it gets to you.

Dean Winchester: Well, you can't let it. Can't bring it home like that.

Sam Winchester: So what? All this never keeps you up at night? Never? You're never afraid?

Dean Winchester: No, not really.

[Sam draws out a big knife from under Dean's pillow]

Dean Winchester: That's not fear, that's precaution.

Sam Winchester: Alright, whatever. I'm too tired to argue.

Carey: [Zack is dressed as a girl to win a beauty contest] Zack, why are you wearing a skirt?

Zack Martin: I did it so we could win money for bikes.

Carey: Oh, thank goodness!

Sam Winchester: Alright. Its time for plan B. We're getting on that plane.

Dean Winchester: Now, just hold on a second.

Sam Winchester: Dean, that plane is leaving. With over a hundred passengers on board. And if we're right, that plane is going to crash.

Dean Winchester: I know!

Sam Winchester: Ok! So we're getting on that plane, we need to find that demon and exorcise it. Look, I'll get the tickets, you just go get whatever you can out of the trunk, whatever will make it through security. Meet me back here in five minutes.


Sam Winchester: Are you ok?

Dean Winchester: No. Not really.

Sam Winchester: What? What's wrong?

Dean Winchester: Well, I kind of have a problem with, uh...

Sam Winchester: Flying?

Dean Winchester: It's never really been an issue till now!

Sam Winchester: You're joking, right?

Dean Winchester: Do I look like I'm joking? Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?

Sam Winchester: Alright. Uh. I'll go.

Dean Winchester: What?

Sam Winchester: I'll do this one on my own.

Dean Winchester: Are you nuts? You said it yourself, the plane's gonna crash.

Sam Winchester: Look, Dean, we can do it together or I can do this one by myself. I'm not seeing a third option here!

Dean Winchester: [completely distressed] Come on. Really? Man.

Snooty Woman: [brings Carey bottled water] I hope it's cold enough for you.

Carey Martin: Well, did you hold it right next to your heart?

John Winchester: [voicemail] This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son, Dean. 785-555-0179. He can help.

Carey Martin: [looks at the price tag] Whoa, that's a lot of numbers! What do you suggest for a woman who's on a budget?

Snooty Woman: Marry a rich man or failing that, down the street, the 49-cent store.

Randall: [while asleep] Maddie... must destroy Zack!

Zack Martin: That kid should be locked up somewhere.

Dean Winchester: More powerful?

Sam Winchester: Yeah.

Dean Winchester: How?

Sam Winchester: Well, it doesn't need to possess anyone anymore, it can just wreak havoc on its own.

Dean Winchester: Oh. And why is that a good thing?

Maddie Fitzpatrick: London, I heard the big news!

London Tipton: Yes, it's true! I just bought my thousandth pair of shoes!

Maddie Fitzpatrick: No, your father got remarried.

London Tipton: You call that news?

Carey Martin: Whatever's in this envelope

[to Cody]

Carey Martin: you're still Cody and

[to Zack]

Carey Martin: you're still Zack.

[Esteban walks by and hears this]

Esteban: Will I still be Esteban?

Carey Martin: Yes.

Esteban: Aw too bad, then I must go get a ton of luggage in room 1217.

[he leaves]

Carey Martin: Before we do...

Zack Martin: Oh no, she's gonna talk.

Carey Martin: this is important. Even if you're you and you're you, I'll still love you if he's you and you're him.

Cody Martin: I couldn't follow that and I'm the smart one.

Carey Martin: Ok, swirly heels, swirly heels.

[to Cody]

Carey Martin: You're definitely Cody and

[to Zack]

Carey Martin: you're definately Zack.

Zack Martin: Alright! Now I can go back to chilling and getting by in school.

[sees his mom's face]

Zack Martin: I mean doing my best.

Carey Martin: It's so nice to have my boys back.

Brianna's Mom: Oh, look girls! It's little Tyreeta!

Cody Martin: [girl voice, to Brianna's mom] Tyreesha!

Brianna's Mom: [to Cody] Like it matters.

Sam Winchester: What is that?

Dean Winchester: It's an EMF meter. It reads electromagnetic frequencies.

Sam Winchester: Yeah, I know what an EMF meter is, but why does that one look like a busted up old walkman?

Dean Winchester: 'Cause that's what I made it out of. It's homemade.

Sam Winchester: Yeah. I can see that.

[Dean looks offended and walks away from him]

Zack Martin: Mr. Moseby, you just don't know what it's like to deal with kids.

Cody Martin: They don't listen to you, they have no respect for authority, they run all over the lobby like maniacs...

Mr. Moseby: Welcome to my world.

[first lines]

Jim Miller: Somebody help me! Somebody help!

Max: Zack, would you like to be my partner?

Zack Martin: Sure. I'd love to be on TV, and I also have the face for it.

Cody Martin: I have the same face!

Zack Martin: Yeah, but your face can't dance.

Sam Winchester: Dean, I been thinkin'.

Dean Winchester: Oh, that's never a good thing.

Sam Winchester: I'm serious. I been thinkin': why would this demon, whatever it is, why would it kill Mom and Jessica and Max's mother? You know, what does it want?

Dean Winchester: No idea.

Sam Winchester: Well, you think maybe it, it was after us? After Max and me?

Dean Winchester: Why would you think that?

Sam Winchester: I mean, either telekinesis or premonitions, we both had abilities, you know? Maybe, maybe it was after us for some reason.

Dean Winchester: Sam, if it wanted you it would've just taken you. Okay? This is not your fault. It's not about you.

Sam Winchester: Then what is it about?

Dean Winchester: It's about that damn thing that did this to our family. The thing that we're gonna find, the thing that we're gonna kill. And that's all.

Sam Winchester: Actually there's uh... something else too.

Dean Winchester: Oh jeez, what?

Sam Winchester: When Max locked me in that closet, that big cabinet against the door... I moved it.

Dean Winchester: Huh. You got a little more upper body strength than I gave you credit for!

Sam Winchester: No man, I *moved* it. Like... Max.

Dean Winchester: [slightly freaked] Oh. Right.

Sam Winchester: Yeah.

Dean Winchester: [holding out a spoon] Bend this.

Mr. Moseby: [the twins and Max are playing basketball in the lobby] No B-Ball today. Game has been cancelled on account of "This-is-a-hotel".

Sam Winchester: If I'd just said something else. Gotten through to him somehow.

Dean Winchester: Don't do that.

Sam Winchester: Do what?

Dean Winchester: Torture yourself. It wouldn't have mattered what you said, Max was too far gone.

Sam Winchester: When I think about how he looked at me man, right before... I should've done something.

Dean Winchester: C'mon man, you risked your life! I mean yeah, maybe if we'd gotten there twenty years earlier.

Sam Winchester: Well, I'll tell you one thing. We're lucky we had Dad.

Dean Winchester: [surprised] Well I never thought I'd hear you say that.

Sam Winchester: Well, he could've gone a whole other way after Mom. A little more tequila, a little less demon hunting, and we would've had Max's childhood. All things considered, we turned out okay. Thanks to him.

Dean Winchester: [nods] All things considered.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: You two can bond by shopping.

Brandi: But she's grounded.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Well, then you'll only shop on the ground floor.

Brandi: Well, I'm willing to try if London is.

London Tipton: Fine, but you've got to come.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Um, I'm working.

London Tipton: I'll buy you whatever you want.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [puts the closed block on the desk] Let's shop till we drop, girls!

Zack Martin: [walking up to Brianna] So if I guess your name, do I win a kiss?

Brianna: Oh, you're so adorable! And so completely out of your league.

[Max is threatening Alice with the gun]

Alice Miller: Max, no.

[Dean moves to protect Alice]

Max Miller: [to Dean] Stay back. It's not about you.

Dean Winchester: You're gonna kill her, you gotta go through me first.

Max Miller: Okay.

[he cocks the gun; Sam bursts in]

Sam Winchester: No don't! Don't! Please! Please, Max. Max, we can help you. All right? But this, what you're doing, it's not the solution. It's not gonna fix anything.


Max Miller: [quietly] You're right.

[He swings the gun around and shoots himself in the head]

Sam Winchester: No!

Brandi: You know when I was your age...

London Tipton: When was that, 20 minutes ago?

Maddie: I'm sorry, Mr. Moseby, but I had to leave for a family emergency, and I had to leave Esteban in charge.

Esteban: And I had to take care of everything you put me in charge for, so I had to leave Zack and Cody in charge.

Zack Martin: Which means this is clearly your fault, Mr. Moseby.

Cody Martin: But rest assure, we forgive you.

Sam Winchester: Listen to me Max. What your Dad said, about what happened to your Mom... It's real.

Max Miller: What?

Sam Winchester: It happened to my Mom too. Exactly the same. My nursery, my crib, my Dad saw her on the ceiling...

Max Miller: Then your Dad must've been as drunk as mine.

Sam Winchester: No. No, it's the same thing, Max! The same thing killed our mothers!

Max Miller: It's impossible!

Sam Winchester: This must be why I've been having visions curing the day. Why they're getting more intense. 'Cause you and I must be connected in some way. Your abilities, they started six, seven months ago, right? Out of the blue?

Max Miller: How'd you know that?

Sam Winchester: Because that's when my abilities started, Max! I mean yours seem to be much further along, but still this, this means something! Right? I mean for some reason, you and I, you and I were chosen.

Max Miller: For what?

Sam Winchester: I don't know. But Dean and I, my brother and I, we're hunting for your Mom's killer. And we could find answers. Answers that could help us both. But you gotta let us go, Max. You gotta let your stepmother go.


Max Miller: No. What they did to me. I still have nightmares. I'm still scared all the time, like, like I'm just waiting for that next beating!

[getting up and starting for the stairs]

Max Miller: I'm just tired of being scared! If I do this, it'll be over!

[Sam follows and blocks him]

Sam Winchester: No, don't you get it? It won't. The nightmares won't end, Max. Not like this. It's just... more pain. And it makes you as bad as them. Max, you don't have to go through all this by yourself.

Max Miller: I'm sorry.

[Max telekinetically opens a closet and traps Sam inside]

Zack Martin: Sometimes you just gotta say, what the hey!

Mr. Moseby: For now, your father must remain 'incognito.'

London: Where is 'Cognito?'

Mr. Moseby: It means he's in hiding.

London: Where is 'Hiding?'

London: But we were having so much fun.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: You were having fun, I was watching you have fun.

London: But what could be more fun?

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Hmm, root canal you don't need?

Sam Winchester: Look, what they did to you, what they all did to you, growin' up, they deserve to be punished, but...

Max Miller: Growing up? Try last week.

[he lifts his shirt, showing ugly bruises and cuts]

Max Miller: My Dad still hit me. Just in places people wouldn't see it. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Sam Winchester: I'm sorry.

Max Miller: When I first found out I could move things, it was a gift. My whole life, I was helpless. But now I had this. So last week, Dad gets drunk. First time in a long time. And he beats me to hell. First time in a long time. And then I knew what I had to do.

Sam Winchester: Why didn't you just leave?

Max Miller: It wasn't about getting away. Just knowing that they'd still be out there... It was about not being afraid. When my Dad used to look at me? There was hate in his eyes. Do you know what that feels like?

Sam Winchester: [quietly] No.

Max Miller: He blamed me for everything. For his job. For his life. For my Mom's death.

Sam Winchester: Why would he blame you for your Mom's death?

Max Miller: Because she died in my nursery. While I was asleep in my crib. As if that makes it my fault!

Sam Winchester: She died in your nursery?

Max Miller: Yeah. There was a fire. And he'd get drunk, and babble on like she died in some insane way. He said that she burned up. Pinned to the ceiling!

Director: CUT! This ain't my vision!

Carey Martin: What are you guys doing tonight?

Cody Martin: Uhh...

[walks to Carey]

Cody Martin: I'm sleeping over at Tapeworm's

Carey Martin: [to Zack] And you're not?

Zack Martin: No, we had a fight.

Carey Martin: You and Tapeworm?

Zack Martin: Me and Zack.

Carey Martin: [looks at Cody] Are you wearing lipstick?

Zack Martin: See that's what the fight was about. I put lipstick on him while he was taking a nap.

Carey Martin: [to Zack] That wasn't very nice

Carey Martin: [to Cody] and that's not your shade.

Zack Martin: Told you.

Sam Winchester: We're not gonna kill Max.

Dean Winchester: Then what? I hand him over to the cops and say "lock him up officer, he kills with the power of his mind!"

Sam Winchester: Forget it! No way man.

Dean Winchester: Sam...

Sam Winchester: Dean! He's a *person*. We can talk to him! Hey, promise me you'll follow my lead on this one.

Dean Winchester: All right fine. But I'm not lettin' him hurt anybody else.

[he pulls a gun from the glove compartment]

Bob: [after being caught skipping school, but shifting blame onto Zack and Cody] Mrs Martin. Well, I see you've got some parenting to do.

Carey Martin: And Bob, I'll call your mother and tell her exactly how you spent your day.

Bob: In which case, I'd better go and pick her up something nice.

Randall: I want to ride in the air vents.

Zack Martin: You're not ready for that.

Randall: Surfing on the luggage cart?

Zack Martin: Overrated.

Randall: Fishing in the restaurant aquarium?

Zack Martin: No... hmm, interesting.

Sam Winchester: Max is doing it. Everything I've been seeing.

Dean Winchester: You sure about this?

Sam Winchester: Yeah, I saw him.

Dean Winchester: How's he pullin' it off?

Dean Winchester: I dunno, looked like telekinesis?

Sam Winchester: So he's psychic, you mean he's a, a spoon-bender?

Sam Winchester: I didn't even realize it, but this whole time he was there, he was outside of the garage when his Dad died, he was in the apartment when his uncle died... These visions, this whole time, I wasn't connecting to the Millers, I was connecting to Max. The thing I don't get is why, man? I guess... because we're so alike?

Dean Winchester: What're you talking about? Dude's nothing like you.

Sam Winchester: Well, we both have psychic abilities, we're both...

Dean Winchester: Both what? Sam, Max is a monster, he's already killed two people and now he's gunning for a third!

Sam Winchester: Well with what he went through, the beatings, to want revenge on those people, I'm sorry man, I hate to say it but it's not that insane.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, but it doesn't justify murdering your entire family.

Sam Winchester: Dean...

Dean Winchester: He's no different than anything else we've hunted! All right? We gotta end him.

Muriel: [to one of the jewel thieves] Hey cutie. When you get outta the big house... call me, okay?

Randall: My parents paid good money for me to have fun, and guess what?

Zack Martin: You want to give me a tip?

Randall: Sure. You should do something about your disproportionate head.

Zack Martin: It was a bad haircut!

Alice Miller: I don't know what you mean by that. You know I never did anything.

Max Miller: That's right. You didn't do *anything*. You didn't stop them, not once!

[the kitchen knife rises off the cutting board]

Alice Miller: How did you...

[the knife flies up to her head, following her as she backs against the wall]

Alice Miller: Max! Please!

[the knife moves in, the point right at her eye]

Max Miller: For every time you stood there and watched. Pretending it wasn't happening!

Alice Miller: [afraid] I'm sorry.

Max Miller: No you're not. You just don't wanna die.

London Tipton: Brandi, don't leave. I'm sorry about all the mean things I said to you. I didn't realize you were being annoying because you cared.

Brandi: I guess I just got excited about having a stepdaughter.

London Tipton: Well, how about we start by just being friends?

Brandi: I'd like that.

[She and London hug each other as Carey enters the hotel with the boys and lays down the law with them]

Brandi: Boy, it's great being a mom.

Carey Martin: Take a good look at the people in the lobby, boys, because they have lives and you don't! For one month, that means no movies, no desserts, no television, no music. Cody, for you, no reading for fun!

London Tipton: [to Brandi] Don't worry. I never read for fun.

Zack Martin: Mom! We're gonna be on TV!

Carey Martin: [worriedly] Oh, boy. What did you set on fire?

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: [Identifying the body] That's Llewellyn. Looks like Groat used his Golden Rule before he could.

Inspector Steve Keller: Which one is that?

Detective Lt. Mike Stone: Do unto others before they do unto you.

Sam Winchester: We were just wondering if you might recall a family, they used to live right across the street.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, the Millers, they had a little boy named Max.

Sam Winchester: Right.

Neighbor Man: Yeah, I remember. The brother had the place next door. So uh, what's this about? That poor kid okay?

Sam Winchester: What do you mean?

Neighbor Man: Well in my life I've never seen a child treated like that. I mean I'd hear Mr. Miller yellin' and throwin' things clear across the street, he was, he was a mean drunk. He used to beat the tar outta Max. Bruises. Broke his arm two times that I know of.

Sam Winchester: And this was going on regularly?

Neighbor Man: Practically every day. In fact, that thug brother of his was just as likely to take a swing at the boy, but the worst part, was the stepmother. She'd just... stand there, checked out, never lifted a finger to protect him. I must've called the police seven or eight times, never did any good.

Dean Winchester: Now you said stepmother.

Neighbor Man: I think his real mom died, some sort of accident, car accident, I think.

Zack Martin: You need to have confidence. You're such a loser, what's wrong with you.

[smacks Cody on the shoulder]

Sam Winchester: But if there was something there Dean, I would have seen it too. I mean, I've been seeing an awful lot lately.

Dean Winchester: Oh, excuse me, psychic wonder!

Sam Winchester: Dean I'm scared, man. These nightmares weren't bad enough, now I'm seeing things when I'm awake? And these... visions, or whatever, they're getting more intense. And painful.

Dean Winchester: C'mon man, it'll be all right. You'll be fine.

Sam Winchester: What is it about the Millers? Why am I connected to them? Why am I watching them *die*? Why the hell is this happening to me?

Dean Winchester: I don't know Sam, but we'll figure it out, okay? We face the unexplainable every single day, this is just another thing.

Sam Winchester: No. It's never been *us*. It's never been in the family like this! Tell me the truth, you can't tell me this doesn't freak you out.


Dean Winchester: [unconvincing] This doesn't freak me out.

Sam Winchester: [last lines] Aren't you worried, man, aren't you worried that I could turn into Max or something?

Dean Winchester: Nope. No way. You know why?

Sam Winchester: No. Why?

Dean Winchester: Cause you got one advantage that Max didn't have.

Sam Winchester: Dad? Because Dad's not here, Dean.

Dean Winchester: No. Me.

[He smiles]

Dean Winchester: As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you. Now then, I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go.

Sam Winchester: Where?

Dean Winchester: Vegas.

[He smiles. Sam scoffs]

Dean Winchester: What? Come on, man. Craps table? We'd clean up.

Cody Martin: I call it trip-hop.

Max: I call it last place!

Dean Winchester: [Sternly, after Sam tells Dean to leave him alone with a gunman so he can talk to him] I am not leaving you alone with him, Sam.

Zack Martin: We gotta catch him.

Cody Martin: But how? We're only 12 and last week you got beat up by a girl.

Cody Martin: [after a dance move gone bad] I call it trip-hop.

Max: I call it last place!

Dean Winchester: Maybe the guy just killed himself. You know, maybe there's nothing supernatural going on at all.

Sam Winchester: I'm telling you, I watched it happen. He was *murdered* by something, Dean. It trapped him in the garage.

Dean Winchester: Like what, a spirit, a poltergeist, what?

Sam Winchester: I don't know what it was. I don't know why I'm having these dreams, I don't know what the hell is happening, Dean!


Sam Winchester: What?

Dean Winchester: Nothing, man, I'm just, I'm worried about you.

Sam Winchester: Well don't look at me like that!

Dean Winchester: I'm not looking at you like anything. Though I gotta say, you look like crap.

Dean Winchester: Nice. Thanks.

Sam Winchester: Yeah, well.

Zack Martin: [over the walkie-talkie to Cody] Papa Bear to Mama Bear.

Cody Martin: [to Zack over the walkie-talkie] Why do I have to be Mama Bear?

Zack Martin: [to Cody over the walkie-talkie] Fine. Papa Bear to Goldilocks.

[two little kids laugh]

Cody Martin: [to Zack over the walkie-talkie] I hate you.

Dean Winchester: C'mon, let's just pick this up in the morning, all right? Check out the house, we'll talk to the family...

Sam Winchester: Dean, you saw them, they're devastated. They're not gonna want to talk to us.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, you're right. But I think I know who they will talk to.

Sam Winchester: Who?

[cut to them ringing the doorbell, dressed as priests]

Sam Winchester: This has got to be a whole new low for us.

Cody Martin: I'm Wing Lee! Who are you?

Zack Martin: I'm Cody Martin!

Cody Martin: I hate you

Alice Miller: It was wonderful of you to stop by. The support of the church means so much right now.

Dean Winchester: Of course, after all, we are all God's children.

[Alice walks off, Dean crams an hors d'oeuvre in his mouth; Sam makes an exasperated sound]

Dean Winchester: What?

Sam Winchester: Just, tone it down a little bit? "Father"?

Wacky Wally: [to Cody] You're Wing Lee?

Cody Martin: You got a problem with that?

Wacky Wally: I got a problem with my girlfriend. I don't care what your name is.

London: Your grilled cheeses are ready.

Cody Martin: Next time you might want to put it on bread...and take off the plastic.

Brianna's Mom: Marianne, I'm not paying for this movie. I didn't like it.

Mr. Moseby: Of course, ma'am, I know what it's like to look at something utterly repulsive.

Sam Winchester: Well, I know one thing I have in common with these people.

Dean Winchester: What's that?

Sam Winchester: Both our families are cursed.

Dean Winchester: Our family's not cursed! We just... had our dark spots.

Sam Winchester: [laughing] Our dark spots are *pretty* dark.

Dean Winchester: You're... dark.

Brandi: Okay, you can buy whatever you want.

London Tipton: I can do that anyway.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: But I can't. Thanks, mom!

[hugs Brandi]

Zack Martin: [to Cody while he's holding a baby] You're good at this. How'd you figure out that rock and bounce technique?

Cody Martin: It's not a technique. I just really have to go to the bathroom.

[the Hook-man is attacking them; Sam is wounded trying to protect Lori; Dean runs up behind with the shotgun]

Dean Winchester: SAM! DROP!

[Sam drops; Dean shoots the Hook-man with salt rounds]

Sam Winchester: I thought we got all the silver!

Dean Winchester: So did I!

Sam Winchester: Then why is he still here?

Dean Winchester: Well maybe we missed somethin'!

[Sam looks around, notices Lori's cross]

Sam Winchester: Lori, where'd you get that chain?

Lori Sorenson: [bewildered] M-my father gave it to me!

Dean Winchester: Where'd your Dad get it?

Lori Sorenson: He said it was a church heirloom, he gave it to me when I started school...

Sam Winchester: Is it silver?

Lori Sorenson: Yes!

[Sam yanks the chain from her neck, tosses it to Dean; scratches begin to drag across the walls]

Dean Winchester: Sam!

[tosses Sam the shotgun and salt rounds, Sam holds off the Hook-man while Dean runs downstairs and throws the necklace in the fire]

Cody Martin: Hah... a-a-ahh... djah

Rebecca: I'm sorry, I don't speak Vietnamese

[Sam and Dean find Lori praying and crying in the church; Sam approaches her]

Sam Winchester: Lori?

Lori Sorenson: [looking up] What are you doing here?

Sam Winchester: What is it?

Lori Sorenson: I've been trying to understand what's been happening. Why. Now I know, so I'm praying for forgiveness.

Sam Winchester: Forgiveness for what?

Lori Sorenson: Don't you see? I'm to blame for all this. I've read in the Bible about avenging angels...

Sam Winchester: Trust me, this guy, he's no angel.

Lori Sorenson: I was so angry at my father. Part of me *wanted* him punished. And then he came and he punished him.

Sam Winchester: It's not your fault.

Lori Sorenson: Yes it is! I don't know how, but it is. I killed Rich, Taylor too. I nearly killed my father.

[the shadow of the Hook-man materializes and vanishes, unnoticed]

Sam Winchester: Lori...

Lori Sorenson: I can see it now. They didn't deserve to be punished. I do.

[a rushing sound; the candles on the altar go out]

Zack Martin: This a complete washout! All of the girls are stuck up, phony...

Cody Martin: [about Rebecca] Don't talk about her like that! She's sweet, and she's pure, and everything that's good about life.

Zack Martin: Cody, you just met her!

Cody Martin: And yet, I know all I need to know about her.

Zack Martin: Oh yeah? What's her name?

Cody Martin: Doh!

Dean Winchester: [looking through records] Here's somethin' I think. Logbook, Iowa state penitentiary, Carnes, Jacob, personal effects, disposition thereof.

Sam Winchester: Does it mention the hook?

Dean Winchester: Maybe. "Upon execution, all earthly items shall be remanded to the prisoner's house of worship, St. Barnabus Church."

Sam Winchester: Isn't that where Lori's father preaches?

Dean Winchester: Yeah.

Sam Winchester: Where Lori *lives*?

Dean Winchester: Maybe that's why the Hook-man's been haunting reverends and reverends' daughters for the last two hundred years.

Sam Winchester: Yeah, but if the hook were at the church or Lori's house, don't you think someone might have seen it? I mean, a blood-stained, silver-handled hook?

Dean Winchester: Check the church records.

Sam Winchester: [checking] St. Barnabus, donations, 1862, received, silver-handled hook, from State Penitentiary. Reforged. They melted it down. Made it into something else.

Maddie: Now, Arwin, this is just a practice date... so, pretend Muriel is Carey.

Arwin: [taking a sip of his drink, it all spills out of his mouth when he says... ] You have beautiful earlobes.

[everyone looks at him funny]

Arwin: ... That was wrong, wasn't it?

London: [during yoga class] Could I make a suggestion?

Tia: If it's another comment about my split ends, I would prefer you didn't.

London: It's not. It's about your lousy yoga technique and your split ends.

Tia: Before I taught yoga, I was a female Golden Glove champion.

London: So what? All my gloves are golden.

Tia: I'm trying to teach a class here!

London: You're trying, but not succeeding.

Dean Winchester: You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you?

Sam Winchester: I'm not gonna let you die. Period.

[about the hook]

Sam Winchester: Well, it was the murder weapon, and, in a way, it was part of him.

Dean Winchester: So like the bones, the hook is the source of his power!

Sam Winchester: So if we find the hook...

Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester: [together] We stop the Hook-man!

Esteban: No one accuses Esteban Julio Ricardo Armarzo Hermetez

Zack Martin: No one's got the time

Zack Martin: Sorry I ruined it for you and Rebecca. I guess I was just being a selfish, greedy, goofball.

Cody Martin: No. You weren't greedy.

Sam Winchester: I don't think the spirit is latching on to the reverend.

Dean Winchester: Well yeah, the guy wouldn't send the Hook-Man after *himself*.

Sam Winchester: I think it's latching onto Lori. Last night she found out that her father is having an affair with a married woman.

Dean Winchester: So what?

Sam Winchester: So, she's upset about it. She's upset about the *immorality* of it. She told me she was raised to believe, if you do something wrong, you get punished.

Dean Winchester: Okay, so she's conflicted, and the spirit of Preacher Carnes is latching onto her repressed emotions and maybe he's doing the punishing for her. Huh?

Sam Winchester: Right. Rich comes on too strong. Taylor tried to make her into a party girl. Dad has an affair.

Dean Winchester: Remind me not to piss this girl off. But I burned those bones, I buried them in salt, why didn't that stop him?

Sam Winchester: You must've missed something.

Dean Winchester: No. I burned everything in that coffin.

Sam Winchester: Did you get the hook?

Dean Winchester: The hook?

[Maddie is carrying London's dog Ivana, into London's suite]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm sorry about the movie. I didn't know it was a cat flick.

[sees leaves on the floor]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: What are all these leaves doing here?

Zack Martin: Don't come closer. You'll step on the trap I set for the jewel thieves.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Have you two totally lost it?

Cody Martin: You're the one talking to a dog!

Maddie Fitzpatrick: And she agrees with me. You've lost it.

Carey: What's going on here?

Mr. Moseby: Oh, nothing out of the ordinary. Your boys are attempting to destroy my hotel, but with a new twist. One of them's wearing a dress.

Lori Sorenson: No one will talk to me anymore, except you. The sheriff thinks I'm a suspect, and you know what my Dad'll say? Pray. Have faith. What does *he* know about faith?

Sam Winchester: I heard you guys fighting before.

Lori Sorenson: He's seeing a woman. A *married* woman. I just found out. She comes to our church with her husband. I know her kids. And he talks to me about religion? About morality? It's like on one hand, you know, just do what you want and be happy! But, he taught me, raised me to believe that if you do something wrong, you will get punished. I just don't know what to think anymore.

[she leans in, they hug and start to kiss; but Sam breaks away]

Lori Sorenson: Sam?

Sam Winchester: Lori. I can't.

Lori Sorenson: [understanding] That someone you lost? I'm sorry.

Mr. Moseby: [takes a soda can from Cody] You can't touch that man's can, and why are you dragging that bag through my lobby?

[Cody puts the garbage bag down and it breaks]

Mr. Moseby: Oh, what else could go wrong today?

[a woman falls on the garbage]

Mr. Moseby: Well, that answers that.

Sam Winchester: It was bugging me, right, so how is the Hook-Man tied up with Lori? So I think I came up with something.

[hands Dean news articles]

Dean Winchester: 1932, clergyman arrested for murder. 1967, seminarian held in hippie rampage...

Sam Winchester: There's a pattern here. In both cases the suspect was a man of religion who openly preached against immorality, and then found himself wanted for killings he claimed were the work of an invisible force. Killings carried out, get this: with a sharp instrument.

Dean Winchester: What's the connection to Lori?

Sam Winchester: A man of religion? Who openly preaches against immorality?

[Dean nods, getting it]

Sam Winchester: Except, maybe this time instead of saving the whole town, he's just trying to save his own daughter.

Dean Winchester: Reverend Sorenson. You think he's summoning the spirit?

Sam Winchester: Maybe. Or, you know how a poltergeist can haunt a person, instead of a place?

Dean Winchester: Yeah, the spirit latches onto the reverend's repressed emotions, feeds off them, yeah, okay.

Sam Winchester: Without the reverend ever even knowing it.

Dean Winchester: Either way, you should keep an eye on Lori tonight.

Sam Winchester: What about you?

[Dean looks at the party, disappointed]

Dean Winchester: [sighs] I'm gonna go see if I can find that unmarked grave.