Zack Martin: Boy, smart people are dumb.

Maddie: All I have to do is repeat everything I say.

London: All you have to do is repeat everything you say.

Maddie: Don't start yet, London.

London: Don't start yet, London.

Maddie: Stop it.

London: Stop it.

Maddie: Ugh, this is so not worth the hundred bucks.

London: Ugh, this is so not worth the hundred bucks.

Maddie: Maddie, I'm going to pay you 250 bucks.

London: Maddie, not gonna happen.

[walks away]

Dean Winchester: God save us from half the people who think they're doing God's work.

Dean Winchester: [about Sam's plan to destroy Bloody Mary] Well, who's gonna summon her?

Sam Winchester: I will. She'll come after me.

Dean Winchester: All right, you know what? That's it.

[pulls car over]

Dean Winchester: This is about Jessica isn't it? You think that's your dirty little secret? That you killed her somehow? Sam, this has got to *stop*, man. I mean, the nightmares and calling her name out in the middle of the night - it's gonna kill you. Now listen to me. It wasn't your fault. If you wanna blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. Or hell, why don't you take a swing at me? I mean I'm the one that dragged you away from her in the first place.

Sam Winchester: I don't blame you.

Dean Winchester: Well you shouldn't blame yourself, because there's nothing you could have done.

Sam Winchester: I could have warned her.

Dean Winchester: About what? You didn't know what was gonna happen! And besides, all of this isn't a secret, I mean I know all about it. It's not gonna work with Mary anyway.

Sam Winchester: No you don't.

Dean Winchester: I don't what?

Sam Winchester: You don't... know all about it. I haven't told you everything.

Dean Winchester: What are you talkin' about?

Sam Winchester: Well it wouldn't really be a secret if I told you, would it?

Dean Winchester: [looks surprised, then stern] No. I don't like it. It's not gonna happen, forget it.

Sam Winchester: Dean that girl back there is going to die unless we do something about it. And you know what? Who knows how many more people are gonna die after that? Now we're doin' this. You've got to let me do this.

Arwin: [to Zach and Cody] You guys hungry?

[he pulls out a bowl that is attached to a panel in the wall, and two donuts fall down a tube and into the bowl]

Arwin: I got it hooked up to the kitchen. They send down whatever's left over. Last week, I got a ham! I think it was a ham...

London: Are you here for the merit scholar thingy?

Trevor: Oh, yeah. I'm Trevor - Phi Beta Kappa.

London: I'm London - Buy Lotsa Stuffa.

Sam Winchester: What the hell are you doin' here?

Dean Winchester: Checked myself out.

Sam Winchester: Are you crazy?

Dean Winchester: Well, I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot.

Sam Winchester: The Bloody Mary legend. Dad ever find any evidence that it was a real thing?

Dean Winchester: Not that I know of.

Sam Winchester: I mean, everywhere else, all over the country, kids play Bloody Mary, and as far as we know, nobody dies from it.

Dean Winchester: Well, maybe everywhere it's just a story, but here it's actually happening.

Sam Winchester: The place where the legend began?

[Dean nods, opens the medicine cabinet]

Sam Winchester: But according to the legend, the person who says...

[pauses, realizing he's in front of the medicine cabinet mirror; closes the cabinet firmly]

Sam Winchester: The person who says "you know what" gets it, but here...

Dean Winchester: Shoemaker gets it instead, yeah.

Sam Winchester: Right.

Dean Winchester: Never heard anything like that before... still, the guy did die right in front of the mirror. And the daughter's right, the way the legend goes... "you know who" scratches your eyes out.

Sam Winchester: It's worth checking into.

Zack Martin: That's right. I'm Cody, the smart one!

Cody Martin: And I'm Zack, the dumb one. Dopey, dopey, do.

Zack Martin: Don't push it.

London: [running into the lobby] Moseby! Which of the following phrases sounds the most smarticle?

Mr. Moseby: The one that doesn't use the word "smarticle".

[London tears off pages]

Maddie: London, I found something that will make you seem smart.

Mr. Moseby: Smarticle!

Maddie: Here have a chip.

[hands the chip to London]

London: Ooh, I love chocolate!

[sticks it in her mouth]

London: Ugh, this tastes terrible!

[spits it out and hands it to Maddie]

Maddie: It's not a chocolate chip, it's a computer chip!

London: Eew!

[spits it out and hands it to Maddie]

Maddie: Actually, It's a tiny, very damp...

[shakes off spit]

Maddie: ...hearing device. You put it in your ear and I can talk to you without Trevor even knowing.

Mr. Moseby: Or you can just tell the boy the truth and see if he likes you for who you are.

Mr. Moseby: [London and Maddie stare at him] Good luck with the chip!

Cody Martin: Agnes, what Zack is trying to say is, you came on a little strong.

Zack Martin: No, what Zack is trying to say is...

[opens door]

Zack Martin: ...leave.

[Jake enters the lake as Lucas is being drowned by Peter's spirit]

Sheriff Jake Devins: Peter, if you can hear me, please Peter, I'm sorry...

Andrea Barr: Daddy, Daddy no!

Sheriff Jake Devins: [crying] I'm so sorry, but Peter, Lucas, he's just a little boy! Please it's not his fault, it's mine! Please take me!

Dean Winchester: Jake! No!

Sheriff Jake Devins: Just let it be over!

[Peter drags him down]

Sam Winchester: But the eyes. What would cause something like that?

Coronor: Capillaries can burst. Uh... I see a lot of bloodshot eyes with stroke victims.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, you ever see exploding eyeballs?

Coronor: That's a first for me. But hey, I'm not the doctor.

Mr. Moseby: I know it was one of you and since I don't know which one, the game room is off limits to the both of you. It feels good to be the manager.

London: Except for what I said about the banana-nut muffin. It's so soft from the bananas, yet crunchy from the nuts.

[smiling and slightly swaying from side to side]

Maddie: It doesn't get any deeper than that.

Sam Winchester: This whole lake monster theory, it, it just bugs me.

Dean Winchester: Why?

Sam Winchester: Loch Ness, Lake Champlain, there are literally *hundreds* of eye-witness accounts, but here, almost nothing. Whatever it is out there, no one's living to talk about it.

Dean Winchester: [looking over Sam's shoulder at the computer] Wait. Barr. Christopher Barr. Where have I heard that name before?

Sam Winchester: Christopher Barr, the victim in May. Oh, Christopher Barr was Andrea's husband, Lucas's father. Apparently he took Lucas out swimming, Lucas was on a floating wooden platform when Chris drowned, two hours before the kid got rescued. Maybe we have an eye-witness after all.

Dean Winchester: No wonder that kid was so freaked out. Watching one of your parents die isn't something you just get over.

Dean Winchester: A few local women, a Laura and a Catherine, committed suicide in front of a mirror. And a giant mirror fell on a guy named Dave. But, uh, no Mary.

Zack Martin: [to Cody] Well, if you're so smart, what's the capital of North Dakota?

Cody Martin: Bizmark.

Zack Martin: I thought Bizmark was the capital of South Dakota.

Cody Martin: No, that's Pierre.

Zack Martin: So what's the capital of Wyoming?

Cody Martin: Cheyenne.

Zack Martin: Thanks, you just finished my homework... Like shootin' fish in a barrel.

Maddie: The good news is, nut girl will probably vote for you, unlike me.

Trevor: Oh yeah? Well I don't need the vote of some tree-hugger.

Maddie: If you have it your way, there won't be any trees left to hug!

Trevor: Oh, next you're going to blame the oil companies for global warming.

Maddie: Yes, 'cause they're to blame.

Trevor: Oh, cry me a river.

Maddie: If I did you'd pollute it!

Trevor: You bleeding heart liberal!

Maddie: Establishment puppet!

Trevor: Do you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you?

Maddie: I'm surprised someone as smart as you would have to ask!

[they kiss]

London: [to some museum employee] Wow, didn't see that coming.

Maddie: I hate you!

Trevor: I hate you more!

[continue kissing]

London: [to the same employee] Boy, I wonder what they'd do if they liked each other.

Andrea Barr: [to Sam] Tell your friend this whole "Jerry McGuire" thing's not gonna work on me.

Sam Winchester: Find anything?

Dean Winchester: Besides a whole new level of frustration? No.

Maddie: How would you feel if people were spreading rumors about you?

London: London: Hey, every time I'm in the paper, my social life just gets better and better.

Maddie: Yeah? Well, my social life is going down the tubes because Chuck heard your lie and dumped me!

London: Oh, honey. I heard a rumor he was gonna dump you anyway.

[Maddie gasps]

London: Moseby, which of these phrases makes me sound the most smarticle?

Dean Winchester: I'm Agent Ford, this is Agent Hamill.

[Sam awakens from another nightmare]

Sam Winchester: Why'd you let me fall asleep?

Dean Winchester: Cause I'm an awesome brother. So what did you dream about?

Sam Winchester: [deadpan] Lollipops and candy canes.

Carey: Cody, when I left, there was a floor under this mess. I'd lilke it back. Could you clean up?

Cody Martin: Pshhh, next, she'll be telling me to take a bath.

[Zack grabs Cody's arm]

Cody Martin: Aaaahhh!

Zack Martin: [comes out of the mess] Hahaha! Got cha!

Cody Martin: No, got you!

[pins Zack to the ground]

Carey: Cody, why are you wiping the floor with your brother's face? Well, if it gets the stain out.

Cody Martin: Mom, Zack scared me again.

Carey: Zack, you know Cody's...


Carey: sensative. Why do you do it?

Zack Martin: 'Cause it's my job.

Carey: Well, you're fired. Clean up.

Zack Martin: You should've seen your face! Oh, I can show it to you.

[impersonates Cody]

Carey Martin: Didn't I tell you? Neither a borrower nor lender be?

Zack Martin: Well, I'm halfway there! I never lend.

Waitress: Can I get you anything else?

[Dean grins at her suggestively, Sam comes in and sits next to him]

Sam Winchester: Just the check please.

Waitress: [smiling] Ok.

Dean Winchester: [disappointed] You know, Sam, we are allowed to have fun once in a while.

[points at the waitress]

Dean Winchester: That's fun.

Dean Winchester: Dude, I earned that money.

Sam Winchester: You won it in a poker game.

Dean Winchester: Yeah.

Female Customer: This hotel has a ghost?

Mr. Moseby: Of course not.

[to Zack & Cody]

Mr. Moseby: Now tell the nice lady you were just *pretending!*

Cody Martin: Yeah. There's no ghost.

Female Customer: Oh, that's too bad. Because a lot of people would pay extra to stay in a haunted room.

Mr. Moseby: Oh, you mean no ghost in the hallway. However, the room is lousy with them. The rest of the hotel is haunted by *these two.*

Cody Martin: I won! I won! I'm not a loser. I'm a winner. W-I-N-N-E-R

Sam Winchester: I think it's safe to say we can rule out Nessie!

Officer: Hold it!

Dean Winchester: Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. False alarm. I tripped the system.

Officer: Who are you?

Dean Winchester: I'm the boss's kid.

Officer: You're Mr. Yamishiro's kid?

Jesse McCartney: [after Mattie and London are removed] You hang out with those girls? What are they like two years older then you?

Zack Martin: Three.

Jesse McCartney: [high-fives Zack] Impressive dude!

Corrie: You are so cool London. Can I name my cat after you?

London Tipton: Is it a pure bred?

Corrie: No.

[saying it happily]

London Tipton: No!

[Corrie walks off embarrassed]

Sam Winchester: You know, um... what you said about Mom. You never told me that before.

Dean Winchester: It's no big deal.


Dean Winchester: Oh God, we're not gonna have to hug or anything, are we?

[upon getting filmed in 'night vision']

Dean Winchester: Do I look like Paris Hilton?

Cody Martin: [after dyeing his hair, which turned out to be very red] Oh, no! The box said it was supposed to be a honey-mist auburn!

Zack Martin: Well, honey, you missed auburn big time!

[London is surprised when a needy family baked Maddie a cake]

London Tipton: Maddie, why didn't they bake me a cake?

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Because you didn't give them anything

London Tipton: I gave them publicity.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [seriously] That was for you.

Sam Winchester: Alright, we've got another house to find.

[Looking at a picture of a house and a church]

Dean Winchester: The only problem is there are about a thousand yellow two-stories in this county alone.

Sam Winchester: See this church? I bet there are less than a thousand of those around here.

Dean Winchester: Oh, college boy thinks he's so smart.

Sam Winchester: [about the asylum] The South Wing, it's where they housed all the real hard cases, the psychotics, the criminally insane...

Dean Winchester: Sounds cozy.

Sam Winchester: Yeah, and one night in '64, they rioted. Attacked staff, attacked each other.

Dean Winchester: So what, the patients took over the asylum?

Sam Winchester: Apparently.

Dean Winchester: Any deaths?

Sam Winchester: Some patients, some staff. I guess it was pretty gory, some of the bodies were never even recovered: including our chief of staff, Ellicott.

Dean Winchester: What do you mean never recovered?

Sam Winchester: Cops scoured every inch of the place, but I guess the patients must've... stuffed the body somewhere hidden.

Dean Winchester: Well that's grim.

London: I want him locked up in the Tipton dungeon!

Mr. Moseby: We don't have a dungeon. But I can have him fired.

London: Out of a cannon?

Zack Martin: [to Maynard] Your a building on feet!

Dean Winchester: [Dean draws Lucas a stick figure picture] This is my family. That's my Dad, that's my mom, that's my geek brother, and that's me. Okay, so I'm a sucky artist.

Officer Daniel Gunderson: Can't keep kids outta this place.

Officer Walter Kelly: What is it, anyway?

Officer Daniel Gunderson: I forgot, you're not local. You don't know the legend.

Officer Walter Kelly: Legend?

Officer Daniel Gunderson: Every town's got its stories, right? Ours is Roosevelt Asylum. They say it's haunted with the ghosts of the patients. Spend the night, spirits'll drive you insane.

Cody Martin: But first, you must changeth me back into a dude!

[Esteban, Maddie are playing with puppies]

Esteban: I'm going to name my puppy... Maria Consuelo Margurito Francesca de Ciello

Maddie: I think I'll name this one Scruffy.

London: You call those names? Prince Percival Persimmon Du Loc. Now that's a name.

Maddie: Sure, if you want him to get beat up at the dog park.

Sheriff Jake Devins: So, we have a couple of options here. I can arrest you for impersonating government officials and hold you as material witnesses to Bill Carlton's disappearance. Or, we can chalk this all up to a bad day, you get into your car, you put this town in your rear view mirror, and you don't *ever* darken my doorstep again.

Sam Winchester: Door number two sounds good.

Sheriff Jake Devins: That's the one I'd pick.

Dean Winchester: You're not gonna try and kill me are ya?

Sam Winchester: No.

Dean Winchester: Good cos that would be awkward.

Arwin: No, because mother's a bingo and I don't have to be home till 10! Ha!


Gwen: Get away from my boyfriend!

Agnes: Your boyfriend? Alright someone's getting banished now!

[last lines]

Mr. Moseby: What part of 'no dogs in the lobby' don't you understand? Now, whoever's father doesn't own this hotel is fired.

[Maddie hands him a puppy]

Mr. Moseby: Aww, wook at the wittle faces.

Dean Winchester: So, crayons are more your thing. That's cool, chicks dig artists.

Dean Winchester: Hey, Sam, who do you think is a hotter psychic: Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?

Zack Martin: [after stealing Jesse McCartney's lucky bracelet] I'll tell him i found it.

Maddie: You're gonna tell Jesse McCartney that you found his lucky bracelet that he put in his drawer on his beside table.

London: [clap, clap, clap, clap, clap] Good plan.

Maddie: [clap, clap, clap, clap, clap] Bad plan.

Bob: Well, whatever part I got it has to be better than Bottom.

Agnes: [looks at casting list] You're Puck, the fairy.

Bob: A fairy? I hate my mom.

Sam Winchester: People don't just disappear, Dean. Other people just stop looking for them.

Sam Winchester: We've met some interesting people. Seen some interesting things.

Zack Martin: While mom is being all girly with her boyfriend, she'll leave us alone.

Cody Martin: And she'll be happy!

Zack Martin: And we can play video games.

Cody Martin: And she'll be happy!

Zack Martin: And she won't make us make our beds!

Cody Martin: And she'll be happy!

Zack Martin: You're so selfish, can't you hink of anything else but mom's happiness?

Gwen: [after zack gets lysander and gwen gets hermia] Wait, what part did you get?

Cody Martin: I got bottom!

Bob: That part must stink.

Cody Martin: Bottom's a donkey.

Bob: A donkey named Bottom. That must really stink.

Cody Martin: I'd like you to know that unlike you, I'm not enjoying your pain. Oh, hi, Agnes.

Zack Martin: Very funny, but that won't work.

Agnes: [Comes up behind Zack] Hi, Zack.

Zack Martin: ARGH!

Cody Martin: OK, now I'm enjoying it!

Dean Winchester: I don't really give a rat's ass what you think about me.

Dean Winchester: [checking his cell] I don't believe it.

Sam Winchester: What?

Dean Winchester: It's a, a text message. It's coordinates.

Sam Winchester: You think Dad was texting us?

Dean Winchester: Well, he's given us coordinates before.

Sam Winchester: The man can barely work a *toaster*, Dean.

Esteban: We're going to call the spirit.

[lights the candle, but it lights itself]

Esteban: Apparently, the spirit's calling us. Now everybody, join hands.

[all except Esteban hold their own hands]

Esteban: I meant with each other. Be very calm, but relaxed.

[all exhale]

Esteban: Ghostie, if I may call you that, speak to us.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: You are...

Esteban: Maddie's channeling the spirit.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: dooopes!


Maddie Fitzpatrick: Hahaha! You guys are so gullible! I can't believe you fell for that.

Esteban: This beliver should be punished.

Maddie Fitzpatrick: [saying sarcastically] Oooo, I'm so scared!

[table shakes and Maddie whimpers]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm so scared!

Cody Martin: [table rises] Either the table's getting higher, or the floor's getting lower.

Esteban: [hums La Cucaracha] Hmmmm, hmmmmmmm, hmmm, hmmmmm.

London Tipton: What are you doing?

Esteban: The spirit has me on hold.

[suddenly gets "posessed"]

Esteban: Heeeehuuuuuuhhh!

[makes a scary face and turns to London and Cody and talks in s girlish voice]

Esteban: She's here!

[inrehular voice]

Esteban: Oh, hola ghostie!

[gets "reposessed"]

Esteban: Heeeehuuuuuuhhh!

[makes another face and turns to Maddie and Zack]

Esteban: [in the voice of Irene] Who dares to call me in the afterlife?

Cody Martin: [to Zack] It's for you.

Zack Martin: Are you the ghost of Irene?

Esteban: [in Irene's voice] Yeeess, my husband left me, so I'm angry. Now, my spirit is doomed to languish for all eternity!

London Tipton: Does somebody smell...


London Tipton: pizza?

Esteban: [in Irene's voice] Arrrhhhh, don't ever say that word!

Maddie Fitzpatrick: I love pizza. What are you gonna do about it?

[Esteban makes an evil face]

Maddie Fitzpatrick: Aaaahhhh!

[Maddie disappears ino the wall]

Zack Martin: Maddie, no!

London Tipton: Irene, I hate to be a bit of a nudge, but uh, can I have my money back?

Esteban: [in Irene's voice] You will be silent!

London Tipton: Ok, nevermind.

Cody Martin: I-I hate pizza!

[gasps when Blankie floats away]

Cody Martin: Blankie, no!

[disppears into the wall while chasing Blankie]

Zack Martin: Cody? Buddie? Oh, no. Mom's not gonna like this.

London Tipton: So, about that thousand dollars...

[disappears into another wall]

London Tipton: I'll take a chance!

Zack Martin: Esteban, hang up on her!

Esteban: Esteban's gone. Say Aios amigos! Ayayayayayayay!

[dissapears from his seat]

Agnes: What part did you get Zackykins?

Zack Martin: Lysander; sounds like a mouthwash.

Ivana: I don't know about you, but I smell wedding bells.

Maddie: Well, this ought to bring mommy down. Now we'll be in-laws!

London: Noooooo!

Dean Winchester: I just don't wanna leave this town until I know the kid's ok.

Sam Winchester: Who are you? And what have you done with my brother?

Dean Winchester: Shut up.

Sam Winchester: [pointing the shotgun at Dean] Dean. Step back from the door.

Dean Winchester: Sam, put the gun down.

Sam Winchester: Is that an order?

Dean Winchester: Nah, it's more of a friendly request.

Sam Winchester: 'Cause I'm gettin' pretty tired of takin' your orders.

Dean Winchester: I knew it. Ellicott did something to you, didn't he?

Sam Winchester: For once in your life? Just shut your mouth.

Dean Winchester: What're you gonna do Sam? Gun's filled with rock salt. Not gonna kill me.

[Sam fires, Dean falls to the floor]

Sam Winchester: No. But it'll hurt like hell.

Cody Martin: I'll have to weld the red wire to the blue wire. Which means I will have to use this dangerous welding torch, designed specially for adults.

Arwin: Maybe I, an adult, should help you, a child.

Cody Martin: That would be a great idea.

Zack Martin: Hey Vannessa, we have something in common- we both like staring at you.

Esteban: Does he know any tricks?

Maddie: Tons. Here's his best one.

[to Scamp]

Maddie: Mr Moseby's coming! hide!

[Scamp runs]

Esteban: Oh, I know that one! But he always finds me.

Andrea Barr: [pointing out the motel] There it is. Like I said, two blocks. Must be hard with your sense of direction never being able to find your way to a decent pick-up line. Enjoy your stay.

Sam Winchester: Kids are the best? You don't even like kids.

Dean Winchester: I love kids!

Sam Winchester: Name three children that you even know.

[pause, Sam waves dismissively at him]

Dean Winchester: I'm thinking!

Dean Winchester: Apparently he was experimenting on his patients. Some awful stuff, makes lobotomies look like a couple of aspirin.

Cody Martin: I'm going to win a Nobel Peace Prize so I can look after my aging mother and pay Zack's bail money.

Arwin: Zack's in prison?

Cody Martin: Not yet.

Maddie: Thanks guys!

Zack Martin: No problem sweet thang!

Maddie: Awwww... Call me in 10 years!

Agnes: [after discovering Zack is impersonating Cody on their date] You're not my Codikins! I don't like to be fooled... Zack.

Zack Martin: But I...

Agnes: I know what's going on.

Zack Martin: You do?

Agnes: Yeah. You want me for yourself.

Zack Martin: Whoa, there, girl! I hawked on your food, I pulled pasta out of my nose.

Agnes: And strangely, I loved it. And you.

Zack Martin: [Whimpers] But you love Cody!

Agnes: I know. But you are exciting and unpredictable. You're my little rebel. Agnes likes!

Zack Martin: But...

Agnes: Shh! Don't speak! Your eyes speak for you.

Zack Martin: I wish they'd shut up!

Dean Winchester: Oh, college boy, thinks he's so smart.

Katherine: Hey, Gavin.

Gavin: Yeah?

Katherine: If we make it out of here alive, we are so breaking up.

Maddie: He was teaching me CPR.

London: Is that the same as peeling the grape?

Maddie: It's mouth to mouth.

London: So it is the same!

London: Gloss me!

Zack Martin: Sorry. We're watching the counter for Maddie. We are not allowed to accept money, make change, or touch any of the merchandise!

London: Is there anything you can do?

Cody Martin: I can shove 12 Gummy Worms up my nose, wanna see?

Zack Martin: You gotta stop being such a pushover. Now go do my homework like you promised.

Cody Martin: Okay... but you're only getting a B.

Zack Martin: Yes! My first B!

Dean Winchester: Alright, if you're gonna be talking now, this is a very important phrase, so I want you to repeat it back to me one more time.

Lucas Barr: Zeppelin rules.

Dean Winchester: That's right. Up high.

[high fives Lucas]

Katherine: So how do you guys know about all this ghost stuff?

Sam Winchester: It's kind of our job.

Katherine: Why would anyone want a job like that?

Sam Winchester: I had a crappy guidance counselor.

Maddie: So, where's the training dummy?

Lance: You're looking at him.

Maddie: I mean the dummy I'm supposed to practice on.

Lance: You're looking at him.

Jason Harrington: Hi.

Maddie: Hi.

Maddie: Look, I'm sorry I pretended to be something I wanted. I just thought that since you were rich, you would be like all other rich guys.

Jason Harrington: Well, I'm not. You pretty much overlooked me.

Maddie: I'm really sorry.

Jason Harrington: So I guess this is good-bye.

Maddie: Yeah... bye

Jason Harrington: You do remember what we do when we say good-bye, right?

Maddie: Yeah, I think so.

Zack Martin: How many times to they have to say goodbye!

Cody Martin: Oh Come on!

Carey: Agnes tells me you guys have a date tomorrow.

Cody Martin: We don't have a date.

Carey: OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What do you call it when one friend goes out to dinner with another friend?

Zack Martin: Creepy beyond belief.

Carey: Don't be jealous, Zack. You'll have a special friend some day, too.

Zack Martin: Yeah, hopefully, my friend won't be from Planet Whoo!

Sam Winchester: I want to find Dad.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, me too.

Sam Winchester: Yeah, but I just... I wanna apologize to him.

Dean Winchester: For what?

Sam Winchester: All the things I said to him. He was just doin' the best he could.

Dean Winchester: Well, don't worry, we'll find him. And you'll apologize... and then within five minutes you'll be at each others' throats.

[Sam laughs]

Sam Winchester: Yeah, probably. Let's hit the road.

Dean Winchester: Let's.

Sam Winchester: [on cell] No, Dad was in California last we heard from him. We just thought, he comes to you for munitions, maybe you see him the last few weeks. Just, call us if you hear anything. Thanks.

Dean Winchester: Caleb hasn't heard from him?

Sam Winchester: Nope. Neither has Jefferson or Pastor Jim. What about the journal? Any leads in there?

Dean Winchester: No, same last time I looked. Nothin' I can make out. I love the guy but I swear he writes like freakin' Yoda.

Lance: [talking to Maddie] You have a dark side. I like it.

Zack Martin: Do they have a hall of fame for this stuff?

Mr. Moseby: Yes, it's called prison.

Mr. Moseby: Mr Ambassador, I'm sure you'll love everything in our Imperial suite. It has four bathrooms, three bedrooms and

[shocked after seeing Scamp and Ivana]

Mr. Moseby: two dogs making kissy-face on the couch?

Scamp Fitzpatrick: Hey, do we walk in on you when we... OK, we do.

Larry Pike: Look, I don't know who you are, but you're crazy. You come near my boy or my family again, we're gonna have a problem!

Dean Winchester: Well, I hate to be a downer, but we got a problem right now.

Matt Pike: Dad, they're right, okay? We're in danger!

Larry Pike: Matt, get inside, now!

Matt Pike: No! Why won't you listen to me?

Larry Pike: Because this is crazy, it doesn't make any sense!

Sam Winchester: Look! This land is *cursed*! People have *died* here! Now you're really gonna take that risk with your *family*?

Dean Winchester: Wait. Do you hear it?

[a buzzing noise]

Larry Pike: What the hell?

[the bug zapper starts crackling with insects]

Larry Pike: All right, it's time to go. Larry, get your wife.

[Larry starts for the door]

Matt Pike: Guys?

[a cloud of insects swarms over the tree-line]

Larry Pike: Oh my God...

Sam Winchester: We'll never make it.

Dean Winchester: Everybody in the house! Go!

[they run]

Sam Winchester: [about the EMF] You gettin' any reading on that thing or not?

Dean Winchester: Nope. 'Course, doesn't mean nobody's home.

Sam Winchester: Spirits can appear at certain hours of the day.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, the freaks come out at night.

Carey: Zack, no brother-clucking!

Maddie: If I tell the truth, then Jason would look like a fool and I would look like a...

Cody Martin: ...a lying gold digger?

[watching Ivana and Lord Corcoran have dinner]

London: I smell puppies!

Patrick: Whatever you're smelling, I'm not picking it up.

Larry Pike: Get off my property before I call the cops!

Sam Winchester: Mr. Pike, listen...

Matt Pike: Dad, they're just trying to help!

Larry Pike: [to Matt] Get in the house!

Matt Pike: Sorry, I... told him the truth.

Dean Winchester: We had a plan, Matt, what happened to the plan?

Sam Winchester: Look, it's twelve am. They are coming, any minute now. You need to get your family and *go*, before it's too late!

Larry Pike: [sarcastic] Oh yeah, you mean before the Biblical swarm.

Dean Winchester: Larry, what do you think really happened to that realtor? Huh? And the gas company guy. You don't think somethin' weird's goin' on around here?

Dean Winchester: [to Sam] Let me know if you see any dead people, Haley Joel.

Muriel: Her name was Irene and she was beautiful!

London Tipton: Oo, just think me, but not as rich, or pretty, and dead.

Muriel: Anyways, in 1940, Irene and her husband checked in to this hotel, but he left.

Zack Martin: What happened?

London Tipton: He went off to war. She waited 3 years, but he never came back.

Zack Martin: So, he died in battle?

London Tipton: No, he...

[Muriel stuffs the feather duster in London's mouth]

Muriel: He mat some Italian babe and opened up a pizza parlor in Naples.

London Tipton: [spits out feathers] She got so mad, she threw the silver brush he had given her at the mirror.

Muriel: The mirror shattered into a million pieces and a chard flew out, and that was the end of that. Ccccccrrrrrrr!

[putting her finger across her throat]

Muriel: Good luck.

[looking at Maddie through their spy hole thing]

Zack Martin: Boy, if I were five years older, two feet taller...

Cody Martin: I'd be squashed!