Sam 'Servo' Collins: Whatcha listening to?

Mrs. Cha-Cha Rimba Starkey: Beethoven!

Amp Ere: Did he go solo? I loved him when he was with Smashing Pumpkin.

Carey Martin: So I take it you like this French girl too?

Cody Martin: Le duh!

[Carter and some of the other Squad members are trying to arrest Tober's gang]

Det. Chief Insp. Frank Haskins: [to Regan] Put a stop to that! I won't have members of my team brawling in public.

[after Batman throws him across the room, Superman rams him into the wall]

Superman: I heard you were crazy. I didn't think you were stupid.

[after meeting with Comissioner Gordon, Superman, disguised as Batman, and Robin walk to the edge of the roof]

Robin: That was close.

[pulls out his grapple gun]

Superman: You're telling me. The sooner we find your boss, the better.

[Superman gropes through Batman's utility belt, searching for his grapple gun]

Robin: Right side.

[They fire their grapple lines and swing away]

Lois Lane: [to Lex] Sounds like your assets are getting kicked.

[a large hole has been blown into the wall and everyone has taken some of the money in there, believing it's a hidden treasure. A guard inside tells them that the hole leads to the Bank of Boston]

Security Guard: You know, if you want to make a withdrawal, there's always the cashomats.

Mr. Moseby: [sarcastically] I know but, the lines!

[Carter chases Albert Milligan, a very small informer who has just legged it from a bookie's shop. He eventually catches up with him in an alley]

Det. Sgt. George Carter: Dear me, Albert, you *can* shift for an economy size, can't you?

Superman: [knocks Batman against a table] I heard you were crazy, but I didn't think you were stupid.

[Superman, disguised as Batman, and Robin meet with Comissioner Gordon, who tells them about a heist]

Commissioner James Gordon: We've got a photo.

[he hands it to Superman, who studies it without recognition]

Robin: [whispering] Bane!

Superman: [feigning recognition] Ah, yes. Bane.

Sprx-77: [In reference to Chiro] Two Babes?


Sprx-77: I like your style. Now me, I would've-

[Nova smacks Sprx]

Sprx-77: OW!

Nova: Shut up, Sprx. You have no style.

Zack Martin: Mom, what are you doing?

Carey Martin: Apparently I'm embarassing myself in fron of you're new friends. You made friends!

Max: Maybe...

Evil Willie Sanders: I fought the army, Tober, in the Emerald Isle. Maybe I fought you?

Tober: [menacingly] No, son, if you had we'd have been doing business by the spiritualists!

Volcana: The whistle was touched by the president's lips.

Donny: What wasn't?

Superman: [referring to Batman] Where's your boss?

Robin: Around...

Superman: Okay, let's try this another way... where's *Bruce*?

Azrael: Be Seeing You.

Arwin: Way not to break anything, Cody! At least, I hope not, because I haven't filled out those forms yet.

Det. Chief Insp. Frank Haskins: I've just been with the Assistant Commissioner.

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: [smirking] Not, I trust, in the biblical sense!

WPC Julie Kingdom: Who are you, if you don't mind me asking?

Det. Sgt. George Carter: George Carter, Squad.

WPC Julie Kingdom: Awkward or Suicide?

Maxima: Are you refusing the royal throne of Almerac? Are you refusing... *me*?

Superman: Well... yes.

[She attacks him]

Bruce Wayne: Everybody's gone. We're alone.

[Brainiac emerges from another room]

Brainiac: Well done, Mr. Wayne.

[Superman, disguised as Batman, is watching from hiding]

Superman: Brainiac...

[last lines in cartoon segment]

Luigi Mario: Yo. My brother, the pasta vampire.

[everyone laughs]

Arwin: OK, we're only down by five and we haven't been playing our best.

Max: Zack.

Arwin: I don't want to single anyone out.

Max: Zack.

Arwin: And we need to get our heads in the game.

Max: Right, Zack?

[Maxima meets Superman for the first time]

Maxima: Superman...

[looks him up and down]

Maxima: Yow!

[Robin and Superman, disguised as Batman, trace a sound Superman heard on the video e-mail to Wayne Aerospace]

Robin: You DO have a good ear. This site was supposed to be mothballed.

[notices gun turret on rocketship]

Robin: That looks friendly.

Superman: Actually, it looks... Kryptonian.

Cousin Stevie: Mike, the lasagna is falling, the lasagna is falling!

Mike: Yeah right. I'm not falling for that one again.

[Leans back and the lasagna falls]

Cousin Stevie: [In slow motion: ] Nooooo...

[Normal: ]

Cousin Stevie: Hee hee ha hee ha ah ha hee.

Mike: Scotty, there's the door. Over there.

Maddie: Well, your mistake was taking on Madeline Margaret Genevieve Catherine Fitzpatrick!

London: Fine, stay in! I'll beat all of you!

Zack Martin: Hey, hot babe.

Jolie: Je ne comprende pas, je suis désolé.

Zack Martin: Oh, that's a cool name. Désolé!

Mr. Moseby: No, Zack, "désolé" means "sorry". She can't understand you. And her name is Jolie.

Zack Martin: Oh, okay.

[Regan and Carter are watching Meadows' house. A Rolls Royce is parked in the drive]

Det. Sgt. George Carter: I never fancied a Roller, myself. "Put the Rolls in the garage, James... I'll butter them later!"

Det. Sgt. George Carter: As far as C-11 are concerned, he's absolutely kosher.

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: [scornfully] Meadows? He's as kosher as butter on a ham sandwich!

Angela Chen: People, we have a problem! Our special weekly serial on Superman is on in two minutes, and we're out of material! Anybody got any ideas?

[commotion in the hallway as Maxima forces her way into the room]

Maxima: I said, out of my way!

Angela Chen: Excuse me...?

Maxima: I am the Lady Maxima, daughter of the Royal House, Ruler of all Almerac - and Superman's betrothed.

Angela Chen: [praying heavenward] Thank you.

Robin: [referring to Batman] He's really being controlled by aliens?

[makes face]

Robin: Ugh!

Superman: I'm deeply hurt.

Robin: Sorry.

Amp Ere: Whoa! I passed English! Boy, was I worried. I'm not very good with foreign languages.

Tanker: Uh, Amp, English isn't a foreign language if you were born here.

Amp Ere: I was born?

Zack Martin: I don't get what I ever saw in you.

Maddie: Don't make me come down there.

[last lines]

Darkseid: Welcome to Apokolips, Mr. Mannheim.

Bruno Mannheim: Who are you?

Darkseid: Your new lord and master. You may call me... Darkseid.

Dr. Jervis Tetch: [examining mind-controlling nanites under a microscope] I'll tell thee everything I can; there's little to relate. These little fishers, I perceive, may have no earthly mate.

Superman: [disguised as Batman] "No earthly mate?"

Robin: The bugs aren't yours?

Dr. Jervis Tetch: Mine, no! I'd be proud if they were. I've stolen from the best: WayneTech, LexCorp, S.T.A.R. Labs. This circuitry is far more advanced than anything I've ever seen. I daresay it may even be of ALIEN origin.

Madge, Duchess of Claridge: Oh Clarence!

Clarence, Duke of Claridge: Oh Maggie!

Inspector Muggins: Oh crikey! I'll probably end up in the tower for this, Supergran!

Cody Martin: [about Maddie and London wrestling] You're right Zack, this would be alot better with pudding!

Zack Martin: So is the evil hotel inspector gone yet?

Ilsa: No, she is right here.

Zack Martin: Whoa! What's that on your face?

[Carey covers his mouth]

Mr. Moseby: It's a beauty mark!

Cody Martin: But it has a hair on it!

[Carey covers his mouth]

Carey: It's good I don't have triplets! I would run out of hands!

Raymond Meadows: Lot rougher nowadays, so they tell me.

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Oh yes. Criminal classes have gone to the dogs.

[Lois rushes into the elevator and starts frantically pressing the button]

Lois Lane: Coming through! Big train wreck, five miles north, someone was standing on the tracks and right now I wish it was the guy who built this STUPID ELEVATOR!

[Bane, Riddler, and Mad Hatter are surprised by Batman's sudden display of incredible strength, unaware he's Superman in disguise]

Robin: He's been working out.

Madge, Duchess of Claridge: I wonder if you could help me, friendly little Brittish Rail person.

Madge, Duchess of Claridge: [the friendly little Brittish Rail person closes the blinds] It isn't like this at Kensington Palace. Hm!

Zack Martin: [Zack and Max both reach for a piece of cake at the same time and their hands touch. They both jerk their hands back immediately] I'm not hungry!

Max: Me neither!

Carey: Huh... Wonder what's wrong with them?

Arwin: Isn't it obvious?

[Leans in closer toward Carey]

Arwin: They're not hungry!

[Jack has taken Sandy Williams out for dinner, supposedly to question her]

Det. Sgt. George Carter: How was last night?

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Well, from a legal point of view, we both committed a breach of the peace, were drunk and disorderly, used offensive language to three pedestrians, littered the Queen's highway to the extent of one empty champagne bottle and damaged a dustbin while reversing to park. From a human point of view,

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: [cockney accent] we 'ad a bloody good night, Your Worship.

Det. Sgt. George Carter: Find out a lot about her?

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: [smirking] Yeah!

Bruno Mannheim: [about the new weapons] So what does he want for them?

Kanto: Nothing.

Bruno Mannheim: It's been my experience that "nothing" can get very expensive.

[Robin and Superman, disguised as Batman, burst in on Bane, Riddler, and Mad Hatter]

Robin: Sorry to bust in, but we couldn't WAIT to spoil your fun!

Bane: On the contrary. I feared you were gone forever, Batman. And that would have meant I'd never feel your spine crumble in my hands.

[activates Venom injection gauntlet, increasing his muscle mass and strength]

Inspector Muggins: Promise you'll come back and pay us another proper state visit next year, ma'm?

Madge, Duchess of Claridge: You bet, Muggins old mug. Hah!

Jolie: Bye, Cody! See you, er, yesterday!

Cody Martin: 'Yesterday'. She means 'tomorrow'. Isn't that the cutest thing?

[before learning that Sandy Williams is an attractive woman, Regan has formed an impression of her based on her name above a magazine article]

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Who the bleeding hell does this Sandy Williams think he is? Scotch Welsh git!

Lobo: Sqweek, old buddy, you're about to witness my good deed for this century!

Sqweek: You're gonna let me go?

Lobo: Huh. Funny.

Bane: By combining our talents, we will rule Gotham City. Anyone we wish to imprison, you Riddler, will entrap. Any from whom we require allegiance, you Hatter, will control. And any that stand in our way, I will break!

Edward Nygma: I've always wanted to team muscle with my mind, and any chance to test my new puzzles, of course.

Bane: [to Mad Hatter] And you, my friend. Are you in?

Dr. Jervis Tetch: Tweedle-Bane, and Tweedle-Brain? If it's all the same, I'll play your game.

Lois Lane: [watching as the grunting Aquaman struggle to break his chains] Aquaman, huh?

Aquaman: Something wrong?

Lois Lane: No, it's just that I always thought you were an urban legend.

Aquaman: Nothing urban about me.

Lois Lane: So, as long as we're here, do you mind telling me what's going on.

Aquaman: Some of your people...

Lois Lane: *My* people?

Aquaman: Surface dwellers. They're about to cause the deaths of millions.

[grimly determined]

Aquaman: I have to stop them.

[Lois's eyes widen]

Maddie: Hey, wanna watch the game?

London: Sure.

Maddie: Yo, Sal, throw me some peanuts!

[peanut guy throws peanuts]

London: And some caviar!

Maddie: [looks at London funny] *Regular* person?

London: Yo! Caviar!

Esteban: Mr. Moseby, a fax has arrived from Tipton headquarters. They are coming for a surprise inspection!

Mr. Moseby: How can it be a surprise inspection if they're telling us now?

Esteban: Because they sent the fax two weeks ago and I forgot to give it to you. Surprise!

[final words to Jack, on a cassette recording that she has left for him to find]

Sandy Williams: I don't think you can love unless you put your love before your work. I was prepared to do that for you. But would you have done it for me?

Preserver: Return to your enclosure immediately.

Lobo: Who's gonna make me?

[the small, wrinkled Preserver strains, and his outer shell breaks open, showing a huge, vicious monster emerging]

Lobo: ...I'm gonna have to stop saying that.

Robin: [to Superman, pointing to a video image of Bruce Wayne] See what I mean about him acting strange? He's *smiling*!

Clarence, Duke of Claridge: Impertinence! Kneel and grovel, woman.

Supergran: Oh, we've no time for your little malarkey now.

Clarence, Duke of Claridge: How dare you!

Arwin: OK! Let's get out there and kick some...

[Carey clears throat]

Arwin: fun!

[Earlier in the day, Keel unwittingly annoyed Regan by getting into the front seat of the car, which is normally reserved for the senior officer - Regan. Now he has failed to locate the robbers]

Det. Sgt. David Keel: Got the key to the boot?

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: What for?

Det. Sgt. David Keel: After this lot, it's where I'm going to be travelling.

[as Superman and Lobo are chased by robot guards]

Superman: We need a decoy to draw their fire.

Lobo: [pushing him out] E-lected!

[Robin creates a false alarm to distract the guards so that he and Superman, disguised as Batman, can sneak into Wayne Industries]

Robin: C'mon!

Superman: All this sneaking around isn't exactly my style.

Robin: What do you mean? It's half the fun!

Mario "Jumpman" Mario: [first line in cartoon segment] Plumber's Log, number 704; our adventure loving group had arrived in Victoria, land of mystery, cloaks and daggers and screams in the night.

Maddie: Now it's time to strip and make the beds.

London: Okay, if that's what poor people do.

[she starts to take her pajamas off]

Maddie: Whoa there, big girl! I meant strip the sheets off the beds and put on new ones.

London: Oh.

Zack Martin: Ahh!

[he falls, and sees Maddie]

Zack Martin: Oh yeah. Why catch me when you can make-out with a broom?

[after his earlier failure to locate the robbers, and his quip about having to ride in the car boot, Keel is back in Regan's good books because he has just found the robbers' hideout and the kidnapped engineer]

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: Good job you've got your own car - you'd probably be riding on the bonnet of mine!

[after Superman lets him out]

Lobo: Hey, Blue. Thanks.

[punches him]

Superman: What was that for?

Lobo: Didn't want you to think I'd gone soft.

[after Superman, disguised as Batman, meets with Commissioner Gordon, a policewoman turns to Gordon]

Policewoman: Does he look bigger to you?

King Bowser Koopa: As the old saying goes, he who koops and runs away, lives to koop another day.

Arwin: OK, check in, Cody.

Cody Martin: In where?

Arwin: In the game!

Cody Martin: I can't go out there, they're playing!

Det. Sgt. George Carter: I'm Flying Squad.

Ibbitt: Thought your little mob was all seven feet tall and had wheels instead of feet.

Det. Sgt. George Carter: Yeah, well I've not been well.

Superman: If I let you out, do you swear to leave me and everyone else on Earth in peace?

Lobo: The Main Man's word is his bond, man... AH!

[He ducks aside as Superman punches a hole in the glass]

Superman: So you're handling the whole city *yourself*? During a crime spree?

Robin: [notices Bat-signal in the sky] Oh, not again! It gets worse every time he doesn't show.

Superman: Then this time, he will.

Brandi: [to London] You will show your stepmother some respect!

London Tipton: [gestures to the door] I will show my stepmother the door!

Carey Martin: What brings you up so early?

Mr. Moseby: Couldn't sleep.

[looks at Zack and Cody]

Mr. Moseby: Nightmares!

[Barry Smith has just crashed his car and is seriously injured after being chased by Regan and Carter. In his car they find a case containing £10,000 in cash]

Det. Sgt. George Carter: One thing, Guv. How are we going to explain all this to Haskins?

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: With long words and a dead straight face.

Lobo: Come on, man, they've got me so stuffed with gas I can barely move! I gotta get out of here!

Superman: So you can attack the earth again? I don't think so.

[walks away]

Lobo: All right, I don't need you! I'm the Main Man! You hear me, you rag-fragging geekwad?

Alien Girls: Oh, my... such language.

[the girls extend their gas nozzles and spray Lobo]

Lobo: It might take me a week, it might take me ten years, but I'm gonna bust out...


Lobo: And kick that big red "S" of yours all over the galaxy! Right after I'm done nuking the earth into *guacamole*! And that's a promise!

[Robin successfully brings down the second of two armed thieves in front of a truck]

Robin: Batman, Schmatman, I got this down!

[Truck door opens to reveal two more crooks with guns drawn]

Robin: Or not.

Mario "Jumpman" Mario: [first line in cartoon segment] Plumber's Log, number 437. We arrived in a dry and deadly desert... on a lumpy camel.

Mr. Moseby: I understand how it is; children can sometimes be a burden!

Carey: Aww, you have kids?

Mr. Moseby: Nope, and after seeing yours, not gonna happen!

[Jack and Anne are playing Scrabble. Jack adds "GN" to "HOPS" to make "GNHOPS"]

Anne Knightly: What's a gnhops?

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: It's what a one-legged g-nome does!

[Lobo sits in the police station, idly shooting holes in the walls]

Lobo: [yawns] Ah, this is getting lame. I thought he'd be here by now. Whoa! Mosquito!

[fires again]

[Thieves smash through the display case to grab diamonds]

Diamond Thief #1: What about the alarm?

Diamond Thief #2: The cops are swamped, and the Bat's a no-show. Who's gonna come?

[baseball hits him in the gut]

Diamond Thief #2: Oof!

Robin: [perched on a baseball display nearby] There's always the relief pitcher.

Diamond Thief #2: Smoke 'im!

Luigi Mario: [last lines in cartoon segment] Holy ravoli, Mario! You didn't say anything about getting a kiss.

Mario "Jumpman" Mario: All part of being a hero, Luigi.

[Mario winks at the camera]

Maddie: [to London] Teach me to be mean!

London: [to Maddie] Teach me to be smart!

Maddie, London: [hugging and crying] HELP ME!

[Vic Tolman is holding Regan at gunpoint after an attempt to arrest him went wrong]

Vic Tolman: You dirty filthy festering scum!

Det. Sgt. George Carter: You even *bruise* him and you'll need an embalmer, not a brief.

Lobo: Adios, Wrinkles. You want any more rare dorks snagged, you got my number.

Preserver: Actually, there is one other being I need for my collection: the last Czarnian.

Lobo: Ha! That's rich! I'm the last Czarnian.

[to Superman]

Lobo: I fragged the rest of the planet for my high school science project. Gave myself an "A."

Superman: So you're the famous Roxy Rocket.

Roxanne Sutton: You're as smart as you are handsome.

Superman: I didn't think you were foolish enough to make trouble in my town.

Roxanne Sutton: Well, with Batman missing, the other crooks in Gotham are picking the city clean. I thought I'd try my luck here.

Superman: Back up. What do you mean, "Batman missing?"

Roxanne Sutton: I thought you'd know. Don't all you spandex boys have club meetings or something?

Superman: We're not exactly friends.

Roxanne Sutton: Aw. I'll be your friend.

[first lines in cartoon segment]

Mario "Jumpman" Mario: Plumber's Log; number 505. We are hacking our way through the Amazon jungle, searching for Sheldon the mysterious witchdoctor.

Cody Martin: The first thing we have to do is to get you an Imperial Suite.

Maddie: Do you know how much those costs?

Zack Martin: Awww, that's sweet! You thought we're gonna pay.

Zack Martin: No, we don't pay here, baby.

[after a long chase along the river and through the lock-keeper's garden, Regan finally grabs hold of Perraut]

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: [sarcastically] Nice to meet you - at long last!

[after Lobo crashes a hole through Lexcorp's tower, Luthor stands barking orders]

Lex Luthor: Get maintenance teams on every floor! Put them on round the clock shifts if you have to, but I want all repairs completed...

[Lobo crashes through the floor and up through the ceiling]


Lex Luthor: ...immediately!

[trying to evade Superman by riding her rocket into a tunnel, Roxy Rocket finds him waiting for her at the other end]

Roxy Rocket: [admiringly] What-a-body.

Superman: It'll hurt you a lot more than me.

Roxy Rocket: I'll risk it! Will you?

Nikki Westerly: So... you wanna come to my room?

Cameron Bale: Yeah!

[says in High voice]

Cameron Bale: ... yeah.

Nikki Westerly: Nikki looks around nervously

Nikki Westerly: So are you coming?

Cameron Bale: Lead the way.

[hands shaking, puts down drinks]

London Tipton: When I inherit this hotel, you are so fired!

Maddie: Oh, you'll be too busy getting face-lifts!

[Huke has been exposed as a corrupt policeman]

Det. Insp. Jack Regan: What you did, what you are, turns my guts. Every copper on every beat has to pay for you, has to live you down.

Lobo: [kicks Superman into a police car] First rule of hunting, Super Dupe. Make the target come to *you*.

Superman: [waits till Lobo gets a little closer, then hits him hard across the face, knocking him into a street light] Good advice.

[Superman, disguised as Batman, sneaks into Wayne Industries with Robin after a meeting with Gordon]

Robin: [referring to earlier] So how'd you do Batman's voice?

Superman: [as Batman] Precise muscle control.

[as Robin]

Superman: Plus, I have a pretty good ear.

Robin: [shaken and angry] *Don't* do that again.

[first lines in cartoon segment]

Mario "Jumpman" Mario: Plumber's Log; number 10-14, we were traveling through a strange land called Turtlevania.